


The Windows in the Skies

by Grandma_Wolf



Category: Naruto
Genre: Drug Use, Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified, Horror, I am NEVER writing anything this long again, Lovecraftian, M/M, Modern AU, Psychological Horror, Romance, Slow Burn, also called: 'life sucks and everyone's awful', but the setting is at least pretty, politics man, they'll fuck you up
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-31
Updated: 2017-04-02
Packaged: 2018-10-13 03:52:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 11
Words: 45,816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10505835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Grandma_Wolf/pseuds/Grandma_Wolf
Summary: Itachi Uchiha felt as though, no matter what happened in his life, he could always go back home: always be welcomed back with open arms into that warm, static community. But life changes. People change. The kids you hung out with in your youth could be unrecognizable when you come back.But Itachi needed to come home. Hell or high-water, he wanted the security that his childhood town offered. Away from the flashing cameras and the vicious accusations of the outside world.





	1. Homecoming

**Author's Note:**

> First and foremost, if anyone from Sitka, Alaska is reading this I mean NO ill-will towards your beautiful, beautiful town! It's just, in my research, the location was... favorable. 
> 
> Ahem. 
> 
> Well, this is it: this is what I've been working on for the past three weeks to a month. And, I will just say: as an exercise in my horror-writing... this was EXHAUSTING. 
> 
> But the important part is that this fic, inspired by things like Twin Peaks, Lovecraft, and Night in the Woods, is almost done. I'm working on the last chapter as I'm uploading this first one rather than waiting for the whole thing like I stated on my tumblr. 
> 
> As this is more of a grounded fic (aside from the inspirations), there are some heavy elements discussed and incorporated. But, alas, the time for discussing has passed (if I go any further, I'll be going into spoilers). Please, sit back and digest this piece in intervals and allow the taste to settle before commenting. Thank you all kindly. 
> 
> Let's go.

The paper-shredder groaned, choking up the massive load of paper already torn through its teeth.

“Come on...” He hissed, forcing more documents in: banking forms, travel recepits, phone records and Uber trips. “Come on!”

* * *

 

“Today it has been found that governor candidate Orochimaru has been linked to...”

* * *

 

He forced open several laptops and three of the desktops in the office. He nearly ripped off a fingernail in the process, wincing for a moment. Just a moment.

He tore the motherboards out of all of them and ran to the bathroom, raven hair frizzing up and pulling out of his ponytail as he hurled all of the motherboards into the first open toilet he saw. He grabbed whatever cleaning supplies he could and upended them over the cracked and soaking chips.

* * *

 

Just as the fumes from the cacophany of fluids were beginning to make him feel woozy, he pressed the handle several times before finally just stomping his shoe into the bowl. The chips eventually got to the point where they could be flushed down.

He flushed two more times before rushing out of the bathroom to finish with the rest of it.

* * *

 

“... His wife has yet to be reached for comment.”

“Well, we can only imagine what she's feeling right now. In other news...”

* * *

 

The crack that shot through the area paled in comparison to the pain that snapped, blooming across his face from the impact. He looked at the older woman, keeping his face impassive through the burning on his cheek as she glared at him.

Disgust. Fury.

…

They didn't have the time for this.

She snatched the plane tickets out of his hands before pulling the wrists of her two daughters, teenagers (he missed that age), and leading them towards the small terminal where their flight was waiting.

* * *

 

“... Police have begun liquidating the candidate's assets. Though small in number, there have been rumors of a chain of emails describing and giving directions to what his preferences...”

* * *

 

“Alright,” The three of them, standing in the center of an empty parking structure, each took a black credit card from the suitcase one of them had brought.

“We won't be seeing each other again. Hopefully, I mean. So if anyone has anything they want to say, say it now.”

One had a car waiting, one's way out was resting heavy in his pocket, and he had a train to catch.

One looked at the person who had brought the cards. “Has your fiance told you that your kid might be mine yet?”

The one who brought the suitcase coughed out a laugh. “No, but I guessed. Anywho, I've been fucking your dad. Also, I'm leaving my assets to the Red Cross, so fuck the both of you and that kid.”

The two of them turned to him and he looked up with tired eyes and trembling but sturdy hands.

“I hate this city with a passion... But, God, am I going to miss all of the Coke...”

* * *

 

The train jostled, pulling Itachi Uchiha out of his exhausted dozing. He honestly didn't know how he had made it through the almost 72-hour bus-to boat-to bus ride from New York. But, as the twenty-three year old looked at his reflection in the window, he... Well, he wasn't glad.

But at least he was out of dodge.

… He could hope.

“Alright folks,” The bus driver announced over the speaker, “Our next and final stop of the night is good ol' Sitka, Alaska. Current time: 2 AM.”

Itachi quirked an eyebrow, looking around at the rows upon rows of empty seats around him.

Oh well. Whatever made this guy happy.

* * *

 

Itachi managed to get his suitcases (only two, just the two) and his carry-on bag out of the bus without any need of bothering the driver.

Especially since, again, he was the only passenger that evening. He pulled them along and, when he got to the door of the bus depot, he stopped.

As soon as he stepped inside, it was going to be a flurry of 'honey, you're home's and 'come on, talk about how New York was' and 'did you meet a nice girl? Or, hell, even a guy? Just... something so I can say that my oldest child is married's.

Itachi would have stayed outside longer, preparing himself, if it weren't for the fact that it was Autumn and his simple red sweater and black pants weren't going to sustain him through the Alaskan night air for long.

He took a deep breath and stepped inside...

Linoleum floors. A vending machine that buzzed like several thousand hornets. And a poster of a bear in a hunting cap holding a rifle.

But no one was around. Emptiness. Quiet.

All except for the squeaking of the janitor's mop against the floor, of course.

“Well, this is just the best.” Itachi set his suicases on top of some empty seats and walked up to the vending machine. “Honestly,” He told himself as he patted down the pockets of his pants for quarters, “I may have been dreading the barrage of questions and picking... But I at least thought someone would be here. Okay, a dollar twenty-five...” He inserted the quarters and skimmed through the selection before deciding on some cookie dough Pop-Tarts. He ripped open the packaging and took a bite, frowning instantly. “Stale. Of course.” He sighed, leaning against the vending machine's cool, sticky front. “Welcome home, Itachi.” He told himself, taking another bite.

* * *

 

He couldn't afford to stay there all night, especially by himself. So Itachi decided to take his chances and walk. On the one hand, he did have to lug his bags behind him as he walked along the cold damp road. “Oh God,” Itachi groaned as the wheels on his largest suitcase slipped for the fifth time, “Were the roads always this wet?”

The loud blaring of a cargo boat took his attention. “That's right.” Itachi whispered, letting the noise wash over him: an admittedly nice change from New York's chaos and the quiet streets ahead of him. “I remember that boat always coming into port around this time every night back when I was younger.” His baby brother would always come into his room, complaining about the loud monsters at night. But they would eventually get used to it, Itachi letting the younger boy sleep in his room. “Sasuke,” Itachi sighed, “Mother. Father.”

He frowned, “Was it too much to ask to get a ride from the damn bus station?”

* * *

 

He eventually arrived at the point where he could keep struggling along slick roads or he could take his chances through the thick woods that created a barrier of foresr through the town. Itachi brought out his phone: brand new since the old had to be...

Yeah. Enough of that.

He swiped through the menus until he said, “Wait. Wait, why am I struggling with Navigation when I can just call my forgetful family?” He pressed 'call' and waited.

Waited.

W.A.I.T.E.D...

“We are sorry!” An automated voice chimed out, “You are currently out of your local service area! Please try again upon --”

Itachi shoved his phone into his bag and began pulling his suitcases behind him. The forest. He remembered a certain path he used to take to school through the old hunting posts. He also remembered how all the parents would constantly warn their kids about messing around in there after little Kiba from down the road got Giardia poisoning from drinking at one of the old fountains. The stupid little shit.

* * *

 

Itachi stumbled over several fallen logs and even tripped over a large stone. But he wasn't giving up. How could he, he couldn't live in the woods.

Or could he?

He frowned. “No, I still need access to the neccessities. Like the internet. And porn. And Coke.” He scrubbed his hands down his face. “God, I miss Coke...”

* * *

 

He walked through the woods, onward towards any light that signified civilization. Itachi eventually came across a rickety wooden bridge suspended over icy cold water. It was more a landmark than a means of travel. Hence why the tourist's bureau insisted that no one walk across it.

Well...

Itachi was almost to his neighborhood.

And this hazard of a tourist trap was the quickest way. Itachi got right to walking. Two steps in, the worn wood began to creak.

Four steps in, Itachi was regretting his life choices. Moreso than usual.

Eight steps in and Itachi made a sprint for safety, the bridge creaking and snapping underneath his feet. He jumped the last bit, landing on the ground with a grunt and more than a few scrapes on his hands. “Shit!” Itachi hissed out, sitting up on his knees so he could inspect the damage. His suitcases were fine, but his hands were beginning to swell from the impact, though the cold was serving as a double-edged sword against that.

A sudden burst of light had him shielding his eyes. The light made a slow descent, Itachi looking in its direction when he felt as though he wouldn't be blinded on sight.

When he saw the deep blue pants, he grimaced. When he saw the shiny black dress shoes, he groaned. And when the newcomer spoke up,

“Well, Itachi, didn't expect to see you when I got a call about the old bridge.”

Itachi groaned even louder. “Hello Iruka.” He laid back down on the icy wet ground, propping his chin up upon his swelling hand. “What are you doing here on a night like this?”

Iruka gave a half-smile, turning off the flashlight and tapping the emblem on his police cap. “Come on.” Iruka nodded down the road where his cruiser was parked, “Get up and get in the car.”

“You know, actually,” Itachi shrugged his shoulders, “I thought that maybe I would just lay out here and freeze to death. You know, maybe get some kind of wild dog or bear to come along and disembowl my corpse.”

Iruka's half-smile withered into a full-frown. “Itachi, do you want to spend your first night back in jail?”

Itachi groaned again, letting his face fall against the ground.

* * *

 

Two stories. An acre of woods in the back. Several neighbors.

Home sweet home.

Itachi forced the door open. “Ah, the wheather's still causing this door to swell, huh?” He muttered to himself. He set his bags close to the door and walked into the living room. The TV was burning bright with the images and sounds of the local news station. The two anchors were blathering on about online dating and fishing conditions. Nothing of interest but it managed to keep his father's attention.

Itachi watched the man, his stern countenance tired from a long day of work. A long life of work, really. He was dressed in that same awful blue robe that he and his brother had pooled together to get him for Christmas when they were kids.

But now wasn't the time for memories.

“So, thanks for keeping the light on for me!”

Fugaku leapt three feet into the air, dropping his beer. As the suds began to seep into the rug, he clutched at his chest. “Damn it, boy, you almost gave me a heart-attack!”

Itachi folded his arms. Really? That's what they were going for tonight? Of all nights? Alright...

“Well, at least _then_ you would remember your first-born son.” Itachi walked straight into the kitchen because, damn it, he was hungry and despite his family forgetting about his arrival at the bus station, this was his home too.

Fugaku picked up the beer can and walked into the kitchen to get some paper towels. “What are you acting all sour about?”

Itachi pulled out a container of crackers and some cheese from the fridge. He looked at his father, really hoping that the man would get what he had done.

Fugaku folded his arms. He was waiting for Itachi to reel back the sass when...

Oh. It clicked.

“Ohhh!” Fugaku groaned when he finally realized, “Itachi, we thought your bus was coming in on _Monday_!”

Itachi did a little dance in his head as he celebrated his construction of a cracker and cheese sandwich. He pushed the snack into his mouth, his words pushing around the food, “Well, you were wrong.”

“How did you even get home?” Fugaku grabbed the paper towels and walked back to the room. As he began to soak up the mess, Itachi walked in with more crackers and cheese in his hands.

“I nearly got frostbite walking through the woods. Then I was arrested by Officer Iruka 'My Badge Came Out of a Cereal Box' Umino.”

“Oh...” Fugaku removed the wet paper towels and replaced them with dry ones. “Hey, did you ask him if he still has my weed-whacker? The chickweed is starting to choke out the turf in the front.”

Itachi swore that he hadn't done this much glaring since his college orientation week. “Frost-bite.” He repeated. “Walking. Woods.” He made to pop another cracker in his mouth, but he decided that he was too tired for all of this. “Forget it. Judging from the lack of chatter, I'll say that Mother is in bed and Sasuke's probably snoring away as well. I'm going to sleep.” He turned around and took a lone step. “Is my bed still upstairs?” Itachi asked, “Or are we going to wait until Monday for that too?”

Fugaku laughed. “Good to hear that snark again, Itachi. Welcome back.”

“Goodnight!” Itachi walked upstairs, keeping his footsteps light so he wouldn't wake anyone. First he passed Sasuke's room. He could just make out the soft sounds of a low speaker playing music.

Itachi moved on past the bathroom, past the cabinets, past his parents' bedroom. Finally he opened the door to his old bedroom.

It was the highest room in the house, Itachi often joking that it was a refurbished attic when he was younger. Although it seemed like his family had taken to using it as an attic during his absence.

“Why, hello Mr. and Mrs. Box of Christmas decorations.” Itachi greeted two boxes as he stepped over them in order to get to his bed. “I'm terribly sorry but you and your family of box of 'box of photo albums'-Suzy and 'vintage records'-Paul are being relocated.”

He pushed the latter of the two away before kicking the prior. There, finally. Now, about his bags...

* * *

 

It took another hour for Itachi to retrieve his bags from downstairs and reform his bedroom back to his liking. He had his laptop resting on an impromptu table made from boxes, one of his suitcases was open: everything spread across the dusty floor, and he had just managed to take a shower. “I forgot how long the water takes to heat up once the weather gets cold out here.” He told himself, a towel in his hair and another around his waist. He sat down and picked out a simple shirt and pair of sweatpants. Once he was dressed he folded the towel over one of the boxes and pulled out his laptop.

“Let's see if the Wi-Fi information is still the same.” He grumbled, letting the laptop boot up as he braided his damp hair. Sure enough, 'UchihaFamilyInternet' still had the password of '123456'.

Itachi looked over the screen. He frowned, scrubbing his hands down his face, when he looked at his wallpaper.

Himself wearing a suit; his old employer cutting the ribbon at a newly built children's clinic.

Itachi quickly changed the wallpaper to a picture of a crow mid-flight and dragged the original picture to the recycling bin.

He closed the laptop, sinking into his mattress. The sheets smelled like the passing years. The air smelled of dust. But, aside from the horns of the occaisional passing boat, it was quiet. Itachi finally found himself drifting off without the need of relaxants or a handful of Benadryl.

* * *

 

Itachi opened his eyes, his body urging him to go back to sleep. Seemed like his parents had turned on the heat sometime during the wee hours and Itachi wanted to appreciate the quiet warmth. But he had to get up.

If for no other reason than going outside to get some Vitamin D from the sun.

* * *

 

He was pulling on his coat and his boots during his descent downstairs. What to do with the day...

“Itachi?” Itachi had to admit, he was relieved to hear his mother's voice calling out to him that morning.

At least it meant she wasn't dead or anything.

“Yes Mother?” He called back.

“Can you come to the kitchen real quick?”

Itachi circled the stairs and walked into the kitchen where his mother was fixing a minute breakfast. She looked as beautiful as ever: the smallest wrinkle in her smile and a single silver strand in her lustrous dark hair being the only indicators of her age.

“Welcome home, sweetheart.” Mikoto smiled at her eldest son, “Did you have a safe trip?”

Itachi frowned, “I arrived at only-God-knows o'clock, had to walk through the woods, and got arrested because you guys conveniently forgot I existed.”

“Oh, sweetheart...” Mikoto sighed, bringing out a plate from the pantry. She walked over to the fridge and pulled out a box of pancakes. “Sorry about the mix-up. It was such short notice and we've all been so busy here that...”

Itachi shook his head, holding up a hand, “Mother, please. It's okay. What's life without the longer walks, right?”

“Itachi? Sweetheart?”

Itachi shrank back a bit. That wasn't a tone he liked. “Yes..?”

“Is everything okay?” Mikoto set another pancake on Itachi's plate before putting them in the microwave.

Itachi watched the plate spin, the device buzzing away. “What do you mean?”

Mikoto managed to pour out some orange juice for herself and her son before the microwave 'dinged'. “I mean did something happen in New York?”

Itachi stood up and retrieved his pancakes from the microwave. “I just...” He closed his eyes...

 

“ _Make sure...” Orochimaru curled his words around a winding exhale of cigar smoke, “That the next one has blue eyes.”_

_Itachi looked upon the trembling form in the room. The sobbing form in the room._

“ _Yes sir.”_

 

… “Needed to come home.”

Mikoto packed a bag for herself (fruit, a chicken sandwich, and a bottle of tea). She sighed with a hand on her hip, “Well, I just think that you can understand my worrying. I mean, this isn't something that a successful politician's aid does out of the blue.”

“So, Mother,” Itachi changed the subject, “I may go out for a walk through town. Maybe pick up some groceries. Since the only edible thing I could find last night were crackers and cheese...” That last part was mumbled. “Do you still have your Savings Card with Beavertail's?”

Mikoto chuckled, a fond sigh leaving her lips, “Oh, I haven't heard that name in years. Beavertail's shut down a while ago, sweetheart.”

Itachi was quiet. He tilted his head. Then he blinked. “Beavertail's is gone? Really?”

Mikoto nodded, “Yep, we have a Trader Joe's now. But we sometimes have to get other neccessities from the other stores. Oh, speaking of which, since you're going to get groceries can you stop by the Snack Pack over on Third to get us some batteries.” She snapped her fingers as a thought came to her. “Hey, you can meet up with your friend that way. Yeah, I always see Deidara whenever I stop there on my way to work.”

That was quite a bit to take in. “Deidara.” He asked, “Has a job. At the Snack Pack.”

Mikoto nodded. She grabbed her bag and said, “Okay, sweetheart, I'm heading out. Your brother's upstairs getting ready for his classes at the college in the next town. You try and relax and... welcome back.”

And she was gone. Itachi listened to the door close and the ignition of a car's engine until he finally felt at ease enough to rummage through the fridge. “Oh, look.” He pulled out some bologne, “Protein.”

* * *

 

Itachi clicked the remote, flipping through channels on the TV. His other hand was busy feeding delicious bits of syrupy starch and salty processed meat into his mouth as he tried to psych himself up to go into town.

The plate eventually rested on the coffee table, empty, Itachi beginning to doze off again: the warmth of the house lulling him to sleep.

 

_Bang! Bang! Bang!_

_Itachi was struggling just to pull his rental car out of his apartment parking lot. However, all the flashing lights... All of the clammor... All of the questions, the accusations..._

“ _Itachi, did you know about Orochimaru's--”_

“ _One of your fellow aides was found dead in his apartment this--”_

“ _Will you testify--”_

 

Itachi shot up from the couch: clutching at his chest and frantically reaching for breath.

Eyes, wide and fearful, roamed over to the left.

Photographs. Family. Baseball games.

To the right.

The family grandfather clock. The bookshelf. Home.

He was home.

Itachi got his breathing back to normal, standing up to take his plate to the sink.

* * *

 

The water seemed... clearer here. Itachi watched the hot water cascade down from the faucet, smoothing away the remains of syrup and salt on his plate. But still, some remained.

Some always remained.

No matter what you tried to use to scrub things away, a little bit always stuck. You could try your best to ignore it; find what works best for you and yours. Lord knows that Itachi had been trying. But to what avail?

It still remained.

It still stuck fast.

It still--

Bang! Bang! Bang!

Itachi had to stop himself from dropping the plate and shattering it. “Who the hell?” He asked the air.

Drying his hands against his pants, Itachi walked to the door. He reached for the doorknob, gritting his teeth as his hands started trembling: sweat forming on his palms.

“Damn it.” He clenched his fists, the banging at the door beginning again. “This isn't New York,” He told himself, “No one followed you here. Calm down...”

Itachi nodded to himself before finally seizing the doorknob and opening the door, revealing a young woman with her bob of hair dyed a bright pink.

“SA--” The teen shut her mouth as soon as she saw that it was Itachi who answered the door. “Oh, hey Itachi. Didn't realize you were back in town.”

“Hello Sakura.” Itachi nodded, “Yeah, just dropped in last night. Were you...” He noticed something small moving behind Sakura, “Looking for Sasuke? He's actually getting ready for--”

Sakura pushed her way inside, dragging a small figure behind herself. She couldn't have been more than two years old, her dark eyes wide and her black hair combed down.

“Stay here.” Sakura told the child. “Here.” And then she walked right upstairs to Sasuke's room, slamming the door behind her. Itachi looked down at the quiet child, the toddler staring up at him.

This was...

Okay, a hundred possibilities were swinging through his head. But Sasuke and Sakura were only 19 and 18. Surely they couldn't have...

Then again, Itachi had lost his own virginity when he was fifteen, so... Oh God.

“Hi.” He crouched down, expecting how the toddler shrunk into herself. “I'm Itachi. What's your name?”

The toddler looked down at her sparkly red boots before mumbling out, “Sarada.”

“Well that's a pretty name.” Itachi smiled, remembering what he had done when his old job had him babysitting the Emir of Qatar's nephew. “It's cold outside, huh? Maybe we should make you some hot choc--”

“And where the fuck do you think you're going?!” Sakura's voice rang out from above, Sasuke's voice shouting back,

“I have classes, Sakura! And I'm running late, so can you move?!”

“Oh no you don't!” Itachi heard the door slam again, Sakura shouting, “You need to watch Sarada! I've had her all week!”

“You're doing this now?! Seriously?!”

“Yeah, because, like it or not, she's your kid too, asshole! I can't believe you're trying to get out of spending time with your daughter again!”

Itachi winced as the arguing got louder, looking back down at the toddler who merely sat down on the floor and began messing with one of the magazines that had fallen from the coffee table.

“Sakura, can you fuck off for like three minutes?!”

“You fucking bastard!”

“ _Oh-ho-ho_ , here we go! I finally defend myself from your crap and suddenly I'm the bad guy and you're the victim! Get the fuck out, Sakura. Please, just go!”

Itachi walked over to Sarada and offered the toddler his hand, “Come on, how about you and me go outside for a bit? There's a nice big ball we can play with.”

Sarada nodded, taking Itachi's hand and letting him lead her to the backyard. It was chilly, but he really wouldn't feel right leaving Sarada in the house to listen to all of that.

“Now,” Itachi zipped up his coat and looked around, “Where is it? I almost tripped over it coming in, so it's around here somewhere...”

Sarada abruptly let go of his hand and ran over to a pile of leaves. She looked around it before giving it a shove. The pile shifted, leaves and snow falling away to reveal the same blue ball that had almost caused Itachi to trip and break his neck.

Damn it, why had it failed?

Itachi kept an eye on Sarada as she pushed the ball away, whining as it rolled away. She caught up to it, smacking her gloved hands against it. The front door slammed open, Itachi able to hear both it and the arguing teens inside.

“Mommy Daddy yell.”

Sarada's voice, how quiet it was, was something that Itachi would have to get used to. He walked over, kneeling down.

“Does this happen a lot? Hm?”

Sarada nodded, repeating herself, “Mommy Daddy yell.”

Itachi looked back towards the house. There was a mutter in his voice and disappointment on his lips. “Damn it, Sasuke.”

Sasuke walked around the house, readjusting his messenger bag. “Here you are.” He saw Itachi before he noticed Sarada batting her little hands against the ball. “And there you are, little bit.”

Sarada waddled over, attaching herself to Itachi's leg. “Wow,” Sasuke huffed, readjusting the collar on his jacket, “That was quick. What did you do, bribe her with candy?”

Itachi wasn't really in the mindset for banter. “Oh, you know,” He shrugged, “That's the highest recommended tip in 'Craddle-robber Monthly' – Sasuke.” He turned so that he and his brother could read each other, eye to eye and word to word. “When were you going to tell me that I was an uncle?” Sasuke grimaced, his expression soon melting into annoyance,

“Oh, don't you fucking start.” His glare was poisonous, his words leaping this way and that, despite the presence of impressionable ears. “Oh, let me call up my perfect big brother to tell him that his sibling ended up becoming a statistic!”

Sarada walked away when she heard her father starting to yell again.

Itachi reached after her but didn't actively follow her. “You could have at least called me. When did...” He let the words trail off.

Sasuke shrugged, “It was prom. I was drunk, she was horny, so we decided to fuck and... wouldn't you know it! The condom broke.”

Well, at least they had tried to be safe.

Sasuke folded his arms. “Okay, you want to be 'Uncle'? Do me a favor and watch Sarada while I go to class. Mom's working at the Church store, Dad's at the refinery, and I've already maxed out my days at the college Day Care.”

“Wait, what?” Itachi looked from child to parent and back, “What would I even do to keep her occupied?!”

Sasuke was already jogging away, trying to catch the approaching bus. “Itachi, she's 2. Just make sure she doesn't die!”

Itachi groaned. Watching kids really hadn't been what he had expected when he decided to come back home.

. . .

Oh, who the hell was he kidding? He hadn't decided anything. And it wasn't like he was doing anything anyway.

“Alright Sarada...” She looked up at Itachi as he approached. “Looks like you're spending sometime with your Uncle Itachi today.” He offered the child his hand, Sarada grasping onto it tightly with her damp gloves.

Oh, she was so cute.

Why did the most endearing children have to come from the most complicated relationships?

“Can you say 'Uncle'?” Itachi cooed down, Sarada blinking before she tried to wrap her mouth around the word.

“Uh... Uhn.... Unkew?”

* * *

 

There was the old library, the bear statue in front of it having seen much better days.

The Fisherman's Lounge that had the joy of being the only bar in town, unless you drove all the way to the city limits.

Several business buildings, all of them filled with miserable people doing miserable call-center work or construction planning.

They passed by a city bulletin board that had posters promoting that year's Halloween Festival, another that had a Missing Person page, and something about a Poetry club. Itachi soon moved on.

* * *

 

Well, they had wandered around town long enough. Itachi found and walked into the simple convenience store known as the Snack Pack. Linoleum floors, flourescent lighting, rotating hot dogs and spinning slushee machines. It was all there.

Including a fidgety young man with long blonde hair leaning over the register counter.

Itachi didn't go over just yet. He still had to buy batteries, maybe use the ATM.

He couldn't withdraw too much, though. No attracting attention.

Itachi brought a case of batteries to the register, the blonde immediately going through the motions of ringing. Until he looked up.

“Oh.” The blonde's eyes went comically wide. “My. God.” He beamed, a giant smile splitting his face, “Oh my _GOD_!”

Itachi set Sarada down on the ground. He leaned onto the counter, “Hey Deidara.”

“Don't you 'hey' me!” Deidara scoffed, his voice still alight with his smile, “What are you doing here?!”

Itachi shrugged, “Well, I'm back in Sitka.”

“Back...” Deidara rolled his hand, “As in today?”

Itachi shook his head. “Back. As in 'back'.”

Deidara bit his lip, looking around the convenience store. He reached over and grabbed a split-able candy bar and opened it. “Too bad you didn't get mugged and murdered in New York.” He grinned, taking a piece.

When the bar was offered to him, Itachi took a piece and said, “Too bad you didn't contract a fatal STD.”

Deidara was all smiles at this point. He took another piece, “Too bad you didn't get eaten by cannibals.”

Itachi took the last piece and gave it to Sarada. “Too bad you didn't get crushed underneath one of these soda dispensers.”

Deidara burst into a fit of cackles. “God, it's good to see you! Aah!”

Itachi chuckled, his friend's excitement still as contagious as it had been when they first met. “I bet you're still keeping Sasori busy with all of that energy of yours.”

Deidara didn't reply to that. He held up a finger and mouthed out 'hold on'. Then he stepped over to the register and typed something or other. The lighting in the store changed from flourescent white to a warmer rose; the music melting into simple jazz.

Deidara jumped over the counter and, keeping an eye out for Sarada (the child's cheeks sticky with chocolate), grabbed Itachi. He spun the other man around, laughing, “What are you doing here?”

“I live here!” Itachi replied.

“Since when, you goof?” Deidara stopped, fidgeting on his feet as he waited for Itachi to answer.

“Mm,” Itachi folded his arms, thinking, “Since 3 in the morning or so?”

Deidara was still looking at Itachi in disbelief. But he did clear up enough to say, “Oh my God. Itachi. You know how to play keyboard still?”

Itachi looked down at his hands and his long, slender, pianist fingers. “I'd imagine so.”

Deidara clapped his hands, “You're coming to band practice. Right now! No exceptions!”

“The band is still a thing?!” Itachi asked, “I, urm... I guess I could swing by. What time?”

Deidara looked at his watch, “Oh half past eleven or s – _Now_ , goofball!”

Itachi hefted Sarada up into his arms. “Well, when is your shift over?”

“NOW!” Deidara grabbed his keys from the counter and rushed towards the door. “Come on, come on! Let's go!”

Itachi wasn't very much convinced. But Deidara seemed happy enough. It was always tough keeping someone whose attention and mood were always speeding in all directions happy.

* * *

 

Itachi and Deidara, Sarada still in Itachi's arms, wandered around town until they happened upon an older building. In front there were the remains of signs that read 'Petey's Party Palooza Palace'. The paint that had been bright and shiny when Itachi was a kid had all flaked off: only stains and memories still there.

Itachi didn't even ask how they were going to get into the abandoned building. Deidara braced himself, tackling himself into the door. It screamed out as it swung inwards, Itachi tugging Deidara back before he fell on his face.

“Just like old times, huh?” Deidara winked at Itachi before walking on ahead. Itachi looked around at the familiar sight of bright animal costumes, greasy tables, and so many discarded streamers.

If only he was several years younger.

Sarada began whining when the smell of cigarettes wafted over to them. Itachi squinted his eyes, verifying the source of the smoke as the young man sitting on the dilapidated stage.

He glanced over with tired brown eyes. He shook his head when he saw Itachi, red tufts of hair moving with the motion. “No way.”

“Hey Sasori.” Itachi had to struggle to find a chair safe enough and clean enough for Sarada to sit down in.

“So it _is_ you.” Sasori said. He stood up, dusting off his blue dress shirt and slacks: a name-badge that displayed his name on his right breast.

“Itachi's back!!” Deidara jumped onto the stage, rushing up behind Sasori and giving him a kiss on the cheek.

“Itachi is back.” Sasori repeated, shrinking back when Deidara yelled in his ear before running off to pull dusty sheets away from an assorted pile of things.

Itachi sat down. He debated asking Sasori for a cigarette but finally he decided against it. “So, how long did Petey's stay open?”

“Barely a year after graduation.” Sasori took one final drag before dropping the butt of the cigarette and smothering it out with his shoes. “You really have to justify a place like this staying open when most of our parents just rent out the diner or celebrate at home.”

He didn't hear the door open again; too lost in recollections of sweeter times of ignorance.

“Oh! I found it!!” Itachi and Sasori looked over to see Deidara dragging over a mic-stand, as well as an electronic keyboard. “Remember? Your old keys?!”

“Well I'll be damned.” Itachi stepped over as Sasori got the mic set up and Deidara plugged in the instrument (as well as a bass guitar). “God, I'm not even sure if I remember how to play this. It's beem so long.”

Sarada was trying to climb down from the table when she noticed an extra party in the room. “'idan!”

A gasp pulled itself from Itachi's throat. He looked over, face growing flushed as he saw a young man with hair so pale it was almost white and eyes that shined like misty rubies. He was dressed in a plaid pullover and dark jeans: boots clomping wherever he stepped.

Hidan's expression, though, was as somber: quietly raging, as the implications of the rosary and cross hanging from his neck.

“Hey, um, Hidan.” Sasori cleared his throat when he felt the air getting tense. “So... Itachi's back.”

Hidan looked in Itachi's direction, his eyes narrowing.

“Hello.” Itachi began, “You're looking well.”

“I could say the same for you.” Hidan replied, “But, you know.” He lifted up the rosary: the metal of it clinking against the gold band on his ring finger, “Lying is a sin.”

“Babe!” Deidara ran over, “Itachi's back! Like, back-back!”

“Wait,” Hidan shook his head, his voice elevating in volume as aggravation latched on, “ _What?!"_

“So...” Itachi cleared his throat, desperate for a new point of attention that wasn't him. “Are you here to practice too?”

Hidan still wasn't swayed. But he did respond, his eyes as icy daggers into Itachi's core.“I play bass.” Hidan frowned. Itachi looked around, his next words coming through as gingerly as possible.

“Don't... Don't most bands strive for a guitarist before they bring in a bassist?”

Hidan folded his arms. “So, hey, how has work been? I'm _dying_ to hear all about it--”

“Song time!” Deidara helped Hidan onto the stage. He turned to Itachi, “We're going to rock the stage: right here, right now! Itachi, get on the keyboard!”

“Wait, what?” Itachi waved his hands, “Deidara, it's been years since I've played anything! And don't we still need a guitarist?”

* * *

 

But it was already happening. Hidan tuned his bass for a second before strumming out an initial riff, Sasori vocalizing to a rhythm that Itachi was completely out of the loop on. And when Deidara sat started drumming away, he was truly lost.

[“ _Heart beats so hard,_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zH_RlepY3GQ)

[ _A feeling that I felt so many times before..._ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zH_RlepY3GQ)

[ _Heart beats so hard,_ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zH_RlepY3GQ)

[ _No matter how much I do this I never get bored...”_ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zH_RlepY3GQ)

Itachi stood there at the keyboard: the proverbial deer in the headlights. Hidan rolled his eyes at him before going back to his bass.

Itachi shook his head, focusing instead on trying to find the beat and tone of the song so he could play by ear.

He finally pressed his fingers to the keys...

And tripped up, everyone jolting at the off-key notes.

'Shit!' He berated himself before starting again, muscle-memory returning to him just as Sasori sang,

“ _You say you're a dancer?_

_Dance!_

_Take no for an answer?_

_No way!_

_I'm just persistent, baby... What can I say?”_

Deidara twirled his drum sticks, rapping them against the cymbals when Sasori sang out,

“ _On the rocks!_

_Hit me up with another brandy..._

_Don't stop!_

_Give me space, I'm feeling dandy!_

_Do we deserve this?_

_Is it our purpose?_

_It's just fan-service..._

_This beauty on the surface...”_

Itachi had to admit, despite the shaky beginning, he was... enjoying this. Letting his body fall into the music, the feeling of solidarity with his old friends.

Even with one of them acting like he was a leper.

“ _So look a little deeper,”_ Sasori kept on, _“On these values on which I strive_

_I'll be your sleeper hit, let me take this thing into Overdrive!_

_Let me take this thing into Overdrive...”_

* * *

 

The song ended with three pronounced notes from Itachi and Hidan. Deidara ran over from his drums, grabbing Itachi and Hidan. “That was awesome!”

“Awesomely shit, I think you mean.” Hidan pulled away.

Itachi quirked an eyebrow, folding his arms as he looked at Hidan. “You know, considering that that was my first time hearing that song, I would say I did fairly well.” He turned to Sarada, “Right, little bit?”

Sarada clapped her hands, Itachi smirking at Hidan.

“God, though...” Deidara sighed, leaning against one of the creaky walls, “It's just like the old days: all of us meeting up here to play, the Party Crew never minding because they never wanted to pay to fix the jukebox... But this is somehow better because Itachi is back!!”

Hidan scoffed, setting his bass against the other instruments. “So, are we going to get something to eat or what?”

“That sounds really good, actually.” Itachi went over to pick Sarada up. “Oh, careful. Uncle Itachi's wrist hurts from that little performance.”

Sasori jumped off the stage, “You'll get back in practice. Come on, let's get to Krakatoa's before they fill up for lunch.”

“WHOOO!” Deidara whooped, “Can't wait to get my face into some spicy tuna!”

“Yippee!” Sasori offered, just so Deidara wouldn't be alone.

Hidan shoved his hands into his pockets and led the way out the door. “Huh-fucking-zah.”

* * *

 

Krakatoa's was a shoddy hole-in-the-wall sushi restaurant that also dabbled in tacos on Tuesdays and barbeque every second Sunday.

The waiter set the last plate of their 'Sushi Smorgasboard' on their table before leaving.

“Mm-mm, looks like a good spread.” Sasori commented as Deidara grabbed a pair of chopsticks and handed them to him to break. “Did you miss sushi Itachi?” Deidara asked.

Itachi, having just set Sarada up in a booster-seat, replied, “There's sushi in New York, Deidara.”

Deidara shrunk back into himself. “O-oh.”

Itachi sighed, “But... None of it was like Krakatoa's.”

Deidara grinned, everyone beginning to eat.

* * *

 

“... This sushi isn't great.” Sasori offered after several pieces.

“Mine literally tastes like it was made three days ago.” Hidan said, liberally dousing his next piece in soy sauce and wasabi.

“Guys, come on!” Deidara insisted, “You have to remember the Golden Rule of food.”

“Well,” Itachi cut up a piece of sushi into smaller pieces for Sarada to have an easier time with, “As long as I didn't have to cook, it's a good meal.”

Deidara snapped his fingers, “And that is basically the Golden Rule of food!”

Sasori hummed, “Just like you've explained it to me before, babe.”

They all ate a bit more, drinking boba tea and soda between chews.

Hidan finally set his chopsticks down and brought out a few bills. “It's still no Sushi La Belle's”

“Oh my goodness,” Itachi sighed, fondness in his tone, “I completely forgot about Sushi La Belle's.” He set his own sticks down and set out a twenty. “Yeah, I'm probably not taking any of this home.”

“Same.” Sasori set out enough money for Deidara and himself. Itachi wiped Sarada's face clean from rice and soy sauce.

“Wait, why didn't we go to Sushi La Belle's?”

“Krakatoa's has ambience, Itachi!” Deidara pouted. Sasori nodded,

“The seats are pretty comfortable.”

“The food is complete shit...” Hidan sat back in his chair with his soda, “But it's at least got charm. What?” He turned to Itachi, “You too fancy for Krakatoa's now?”

Itachi scoffed, “Hidan, I was raised in this place.”

Hidan wasn't placated. “You and a million dynasties of roaches.”

* * *

 

The waiter brought by complimentary mochi ice cream (despite the cold weather) so the group decided to sit down for a bit longer. Sasori was leaning into Deidara's shoulder and Hidan was texting away at his phone something furious.

“So,” Itachi watched Sarada's face scrunch up in confusion from the cold sweetness contrasting with the stretchy exterior, “What kind of gigs have you guys done?”

Hidan stabbed his mochi ice cream with a fork, snorting, “'Gigs', he says. Jesus fucking Christ...” He twirled his rosary in his fingers for a second. “Itachi, we all have jobs! You know, those things that people need to survive?”

“So, I work tech support at the Internet Cafe.” Sasori said, trying to ease tensions.

Hidan rolled his eyes. “I'm at Buck Shot.”

“And I'm the leader of the Snack Pack!” Deidara finished off.

But Itachi was confused. “Hidan, wait, I thought you said you were going to enlist after graduation.”

Hidan slammed his empty glass against the table. “Yeah, well, life fucking happens. Actually, you know what?” He leaned forward against the table. He lit up a cigarette and exhaled, “And what are _you_ up to these days, Itachi?”

Itachi wasn't sure what Hidan was getting at. But... Okay...

“I was a political aid and advisor.” He replied.

Hidan went on. “And _why_ , pray tell, aren't you still doing that?”

“ _Maybe_ , Hidan,” Itachi said, his voice getting a little acidic, “It didn't work out.”

“Huh.” Hidan took another drag. “Itachi Uchiha building something up and then bailing when it 'doesn't work out'. Color me fucking shocked.”

“Okay!” Sasori stood up, “I should head home and Deidara needs to finish up his shift at the Snack Pack. Let's call it a day, huh guys?”

* * *

 

Itachi looked out at the city, sunset burning the sky, “It's so good to be back here!”

Deidara laughed, “Oh my God, we have to make plans to hang out more if you're going to be back in town!”

There were several points of conversation going on in the group and the city was moving on in its own pace. Of course no one would notice someone climbing up one of the taller buildings. It wasn't until Itachi turned around and asked, “Is... someone putting up a billboard?” That the group turned around.

It was an older man, his head whipping around from side to right. His eyes slowly rolled backwards into his skull as he shouted and raved something unintelligible: a language Itachi didn't recognize.

“Ftghan! Ftghan! Lla su ruoved lliw ti! Nerdlihc ruo dna dlo eht deruoved that tsaeB eht! Ftghan!”

Deidara flinched, immediately turning to Sarada and turning her away, “Do you know this one? The itsy bitsy spider... Went up the water-spout...”

“What did he just say?” Itachi asked, “Nevermind, someone needs to call the fire department so they can get him down!!”

But it didn't matter.

The man looked around again before jumping from the high building: falling down from the great height at greater speeds... Until his life ended in a sickening crack: red splattering everywhere around him, grey matter and bits of his skull breaking free from his head. His limbs folded and bent aside in horrifyingly awkward angles.

“Holy shit...” Sasori whispered, Hidan shaking his head. Itachi merely collapsed to his knees.

What...

That hadn't just happened.

Right..?

The siren of a police car slowly pulled Itachi from his eyes-wide-shut horror. His breath still excaping him, he turned and saw Iruka walking over. “Nobody move, get away from the scene!”

“Iruka, a man just killed himself!” Itachi got up, still trembling, “And the first thing you say when getting here isn't 'is everyone okay' it's 'get away from the damn crime-scene'?!”

Iruka ignored him, “I want all of you kids to get home, but no going by yourselves. Buddy system and all.”

“Iruka!”

“I'll drive Itachi and Sarada home, Officer Umino.”

Iruka seemed pleased at that, “Thank you, Hidan. Sasori, Deidara?”

“Going!” The two replied, waving goodbye to Itachi and heading to the Snack Pack.

* * *

 

Itachi was still in shock, even as he buckled Sarada into the back-seat of Hidan's Jeep.

They drove in silence under the evening sky, Itachi trying to get his breathing under control. When he finally felt as though he could speak without choking, Itachi said,

“S-so... Buck Shot, huh?”

“Yup.”

“Well,” Itachi cleared his throat, “At least you're getting trained to take over the family business. Your mom must finally see that you're ready to take on the challenge.”

Itachi glanced over and saw Hidan gnashing his teeth, his hands digging into the steering wheel. “Hi--”

Hidan stopped the car, Itachi almost hitting the windshield. “Jesus, what on earth--!”

“Hey look!” Hidan said, “We're here!”

Itachi looked around, not recognizing the part of the neighborhood. “Um, Hidan. I know it's been a while but you know my house isn't for three more blocks at le--”

“Get!” Hidan seethed out, “The hell. Out. Of my car!”

Itachi wasn't going to push or pry. Obviously Hidan was upset about something, so he figured it was best to give him his space. He got out and unbuckled Sarada. He was about to say 'thanks' but, as soon as Itachi closed the door, Hidan sped off into the night.

* * *

 

It took fifteen more minutes but Itachi walked into his house. He looked around but didn't see his mother. Probably in bed already. His father was watching television: the local news again.

“Hello Father.”

“Itachi.” Fugaku nodded to his eldest son before looking down at his granddaughter. “There's the little princess. Come on, sit next to grandpa.” Sarada nodded, bouncing over and climbing onto the couch. Itachi took a hefty breath. “Have you seen Sasuke?” “In his room, doing homework.” Fugaku responded, lowering the volume on the TV. “Itachi, you know anything about this jumper business?”

Itachi slowly nodded his head. “Me and the others... We just stepped out of Krakatoa's when the man climbed the building and...” He left the rest unsaid.

Fugaku cursed under his breath, “Damn it. Your first day back in town and that's what you get to see.”

“It's okay.” Itachi shook his head, “Not 'okay' but at least we're all safe. I'm...” He nodded towards the staircase, “I'm going to say goodnight to Sasuke.”

“Goodnight Itachi.” Fugaku said, “And, even if Sasuke doesn't appreciate it... Thanks for watching Sarada.”

That was odd. But alright. “Goodnight Father.”

Itachi walked upstairs and straight to Sasuke's door. He could hear music playing from the inside, so he put a little more power into his knocking.

“Mom, I'll eat later!” Sasuke called out.

“That's good to know,” Itachi answered, “But that's not why I'm here.”

Itachi could hear Sasuke groan but the door did open. He stepped inside, taking note of all the travel posters and magazine clippings on the walls. “So, did you hear about that crazy fuck who killed himself?” Sasuke asked.

“Otouto,” Itachi leaned against the doorway, “Don't be so callous.”

Sasuke chuckled, going back to what he was working on.

Itachi waited. A few minutes. Was Sasuke... really not going to say anything?

“Did you need something?” Sasuke asked after a while. Itachi shook his head, his father's words gaining some clarity.

“Goodnight Sasuke.”

* * *

 

 

 


	2. Those Delicious Buns

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Like I said, I'm posting a few chapters of a work that has a conclusion in the works. Let's see how this goes. Also, my favorite character to write fanfic about finally pops up here! Yay

* * *

 

 

Itachi woke up the next morning feeling sluggy and terrible.

“Fucking Krakatoa's...” He groaned, bolting from his room and holing up in the hallway bathroom.

* * *

 

Itachi found the house empty, but at least Sasuke had taken Sarada with him. That left Itachi with nothing to do and no inkling to draw a path with.

“Oh!” He realized, bringing his phone out of his pocket. Now that he was in town, an area with cell reception, he needed to see if his phone was working now. A quick text to Sasuke to see how he was...

Wait.

Itachi squinted at the screen. Where did all of those foreign numbers come from? Why didn't they have any names attached to them? “Damn it!” He hissed upon realizing... His phone had been without a wi-fi connection for so long that it de-synced from his email address with all of his contact information. “Shit...” He groaned, “Why can't the small things just keep it together for me? Who can I even get to fix this?”

“ _So, I work tech support at the Internet Cafe.” Sasori said, trying to ease tensions._

Of course! Itachi grabbed his coat, determined to find the local Internet Cafe. It couldn't have been too hard, Sitka was mostly fishing boats and hunting shops anyway.

* * *

 

Itachi forced the door open, it cracking against the wall, after two hours of wandering around town. “Lord help me if I can't get Navigation on my phone.”

Right then there was only one person working: a young man leaning over the counter, a badge that read 'Sai' on his shirt. “Can I help you..?” Sai asked.

Itachi looked around the dimly-lit cafe, noting the distinct lack of customers outside of a few teens who were playing some kind of MOBA.

“I'm looking for Sasori.”

“He works day-shift..?” Sai replied. Itachi looked down at his phone, noting that it was barely past eleven.

“It's not even noon yet.” He commented.

Sai folded his arms. “I'm working a split-shift..?”

“Okay, what...” Itachi had had enough, “Is it that you're doing with your voice? Because you're making everything sound like a question I don't want to answer!”

“Itachi?”

Itachi thanked his lucky stars when he heard Sasori stepping out into the lobby. The other man was bringing out several new keyboards to swap out with the ones caked in Cheeto dust and sticky sugary syrup. “What are you doing here?”

“Well...” Itachi wanted to make a joke, but he just wasn't up for it. “Here.” He held out his phone. “I'm trying to sync all of my contacts from my old phone to this one but it won't recognize my email address.”

“Hm...”

Sasori took the phone to the counter and tapped it on. Itachi leaned against the counter while Sasori worked. Truth be told, he had wiped all of his work-related contacts from his email account so they would sync back up. But he at least wanted to make sure that he would have his friends' information for emergencies.

“And here you... go.” Sasori handed the phone back, Itachi immediately scrolling through the Contacts List.

“That was actually really fast, wow.”

Sasori shrugged. “With all of the shit I see in a day, syncing up a phone is old-hat. Sai!” He called over, the other man groaning and grabbing some of the keyboards. “Hey, listen...” Sasori cleared his throat, “You're not doing anything right now, right?”

“Except for getting out of here so the scent of Cheeto-dust doesn't seep into my clothes.” Itachi replied, “Why?”

Sasori sighed. He wiped away a thickening splash of soda on one of the tables. “Deidara forgot to take his medicine this morning. My phone's out and I can't leave here for another hour. Do you think you can go to our apartment and get his medicine ready for me?”

“Isn't it just...” Itachi circled a hand in the air, “Picking up his pills and taking them to him?”

Sasori's face twisted into that of unsure execution. “Not... necessarily? Here,” He held out his house keys, “Just take those, let yourself into our apartment, and then call the cafe. I have the number pinned to the fridge.”

Well, Itachi _did_ need something to do today to keep his mind busy. Sasori gave him the directions on the quickest way to get there from the cafe before the sound of something short-circuiting cut him off. “Damn these fucking kids...” Sasori rubbed at his temples before walking over to try and salvage the PC that just had soda poured into it.

* * *

 

Itachi left the cafe and, immediately, put Sasori's address into navigation. When the map appeared and the familiar voice rang out, Itachi felt as though he could have sunk into the snow with bliss.

Sasori and Deidara's apartment was three blocks away. Itachi hefted himself through ice-slick roads and the more-than-occaisional call of someone who recognized him from his youth.

He was passing the Temp Agency when he saw someone he recognized. Her short black hair, her bright eyes warm as they rested upon the thermos in her hands.

“Ms. Shizune?”

The woman looked up and stood from her spot on the bench, promptly smiling, “Hey Itachi! Didn't know you were back in town, hun!”

Itachi walked over and looked around, asking, “I thought you had a job at the school? Being the nurse?”

Shizune shook her head, “No, they phased me out when the budget got too thin.”

“Wow, honestly?” Itachi sighed.

But Shizune merely shrugged, “Eh, it is what it is. So I just... wake up early every morning and sit here trying to see if anybody needs any temporary help or anything.”

“How does that work out for you?” Itachi asked. Shizune was quick to reply,

“Surprisingly okay. I've babysat, I've worked on some cars, I even worked on the pier a few times.”

Itachi hummed with a nod. The two of them stood there for a while, their breaths dancing in white puffs. Finally, Itachi excused himself to finish his errand for Sasori.

“Remember!” Shizune called over, waving her thermos, “You always want to get up early to get the best out of life!”

* * *

 

The elevator creaked, chiming once it reached the appropriate floor. Itachi stepped out and looked around. Not much to look at; your typical low-income complex with old wallpaper and wrought-iron railing.

He got to the door of Sasori and Deidara's apartment and let himself in before dialing up Sasori. Itachi took note of the simple interior: the old leather couch, the small kitchen, the one bedroom...

“Hey, are you there?” Sasori's voice asked.

“Oh, yes.” Itachi replied once he realized he had been wandering.

“Okay, I need you to go to the fridge and pull out the yogurt, the strawberries, and the bananas.”

Wait, wasn't he supposed to be getting some medicine? Itachi followed the directions, getting out a blender from the cabinet when Sasori asked.

“Okay, this next part is important...” Sasori stated, “Open up the vegetable crisper and lift up the kale.”

Itachi bent over and did just that, finally finding the pills in question. Though he found himself curious with all of this run-around that Sasori was putting him through. He examined the bottle, reading the label. “'Concerta, to alleviate symptoms of Anxiety, Narcolepsy, and attention-deficit'. Okay, I got the pills.”

“Get a glass from the cabinet and crush three pills under the bottom. You have to make sure that they're really crushed, almost powder.”

Itachi crushed the first pill no problem. It was the second that seemed to sense its fate and kept slipping and sliding out from beneath the glass. “Okay,” He said into the phone three minutes after, “What now?”

“Okay, that fruit and yogurt from before?” Sasori instructed, “Put them in the blender and grab the almond milk from the fri--”

Itachi slammed the almond milk upon the counter. “You know,” He said, suddenly tired, “You could have just said 'make a smoothie and crush Deidara's pills into it' rather than all of this.”

Sasori was quiet for a while.

Then, “Well, there are certain ways to go about making a smoothie to cover up the taste of medicine, Itachi.”

Itachi set everything to blend, waiting for it to become the telltale smooth pink before he swept in the pill powder. “Why are you going to this extent, Sasori? Wouldn't it be easier for me to just grab the pills and go?”

Sasori sighed and Itachi could hear the clinking of glasses. “Deidara hates taking his medicine. Hell, he hates any kind of pills. I keep trying to talk to him, to spin him out of that, but he locks up anytime the subject comes up. But, the thing is, he needs them to function.”

Itachi thought that the phone cut off, but the click of a door told him otherwise. “Can you imagine it, Itachi?” Sasori began again, “Someone calling you at work to tell you that your boyfriend has crumpled into a sobbing fetal position inside of a makeshift fort of toilet paper and cereal boxes? All because he refused to take a few tiny pills to calm his broken head?”

Itachi stopped the blender and poured the smoothie into a shaker bottle. “I'm heading over to the Snack Pack.”

“Thank you.” Sasori sighed, “And, you know, thanks again.”

* * *

 

Itachi stepped into the Snack Pack and looked around for Deidara. He saw the blonde standing in front of the cooler. His shoulders trembling, his hands over his mouth and his eyes wide: wet with approaching tears.

“Hey Deidara...” Itachi whispered, gingerly stepping over.

Deidara didn't turn around. But he did whisper, “There's something... I should be doing something... Something's wrong, I don't know..!”

Just as Deidara was about to choke back another sob, Itachi held out the smoothie and said, “Sasori asked me to bring this for you. Said you missed breakfast?”

Deidara looked at the shaker before taking it and immediately drinking down half of it.

“Hey, easy.” Itachi tried to take it back, “You can't choke on me here.”

Deidara shook his head. “God, why am I so stupid?” He wiped his mouth with theback of his hand.

“You okay?” Itachi asked, thankful that the small store was empty.

Deidara gave a slow nod. “I will be. I just need my brain to stop working for, like, a second.” He drank the rest of the smoothie and sat down. “I should be fine. Sorry that you got wrapped up in all of this. But, God, I'm so happy to see that you're home!”

* * *

 

Itachi stepped into his house to see Sasuke in the living room. He was typing on his laptop while Sarada had her eyes pinned to some children's program on TV.

“Mom and Dad aren't going to be in until later,” Sasuke said, not looking up from the laptop.

Itachi figured as much. He walked into the kitchen to get a bottle of water. “I'll be upstairs.” He told his brother, “If you need to go anywhere, tell me before so I can watch Sarada.”

Sasuke shrugged, Itachi taking that as an out.

He walked upstairs and closed the door behind himself. Itachi collapsed into his bed, looking up at the ceiling. He had always wanted to paint stars on his ceiling, to expose himself to the emptiness of the churning cosmos.

Reaching into his pocket, Itachi brought out a pill.

Sasori wouldn't notice.

He just needed something to help quiet the thoughts and the memories.

Itachi tossed the pill in his mouth and washed it down with some water. He removed his shoes and coiled up to try and get some sleep.

* * *

 

2 AM. A notification on his phone. It was his chat program, Deidara's picture bouncing next to a message.

'Hey Hey! There's going to be a bitching party tonight and you are definitely coming with! No exceptions! … 'Kay, GOODNIGHT!'

Soon after, another message popped up: this one having Sasori's picture bouncing next to it. 'Thanks again for today. And, judging from how Deidara's fidgeting next to me, I'm guessing he told you about the party tonight?'

Itachi typed back: 'No problem, anytime. And, yes, he said something about a party but you guys don't have to drag me along if I'm going to be a burden.'

Sasori's picture spun, signaling that he was typing. 'You're not a burden, Itachi. But... Can you do us a favor later and ask Hidan if he'll drive us out to Sandy Beach? That's where the party is going to be.'

Well, one thing Itachi would never say is that he hadn't had to search too far for things to do since he had been back home. He typed out that he would do it and then rolled over for more sleep.

* * *

 

The ocean frothed and boiled in the darkness. A hiss, like steam. A growl, like thunder.

“I know, I know. There is one extra in town. I'll make things even. I'll make it better. Please... Sleep.”

* * *

 

Before Itachi had to complete the Herculean task of talking to Hidan and asking him for a favor, Itachi figured that he would walk around town. He swung by the Temp Agency to see Ms. Shizune sitting there again.

They chatted a little bit, Itachi mostly listening to Shizune's recollections of all of her old jobs. “The pet shop was fun.” She hummed, “I didn't even mind going home smelling like dog food and cat dander that much.”

“I still wish they hadn't laid you off from the school.” Itachi offered. Shizune shrugged,

“It is what it is. Oh!” The door opened, the clerk on duty waving Shizune in. “Well, looks like I'm on the road to work again. It was good talking to you, Itachi!” Shizune stepped in and Itachi decided to skedaddle before an actual line formed in front of the building.

* * *

 

“PARTY!” Deidara whooped, clapping Itachi on the back when he stepped inside of the Snack Pack, “You excited? I know _I'm_ excited!”

“Deidara,” Itachi yawned, “Isn't it just a bonfire get-together thing?”

Deidara rolled his eyes. “Everyone from school is going to be there! And now, since you're back, it's _really_ going to mean 'everyone'!”

“Wait,” Itachi tried to slow the conversation, “You mean _everyone_ from school is going to be there?” Oh God, Itachi didn't know if he could tolerate the idea of a bunch of stuck-up questions from a bunch of back-county hicks about his current status-quo.

Deidara was already on to the next thing, wiping down the counters, “God, what an amazing week it's been so far. AAAAHHH, I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE HOME!!”

“Yay...” Itachi grimaced a bit, “I can't believe I'm home either..!”

* * *

 

“So, how about this party tonight?” Itachi asked Sasori as he ordered one of the cafe's sparkling waters.

Sasori got the drink ready and slid it over to Itachi. “Yeah, I... guess it'll be kind of fun.”

Itachi took a sip, the fruit taste not too overbearingly saccharine. “You were never a party type of person back when we were younger, Sasori. What happened?”

Sasori shrugged, skimming over the cafe to see who was overstaying their welcome. “I'm still really not. But being at one with Deidara is, well...”

“Well?” Itachi asked, half of his water gone.

Sasori took a breath. “You know how when there's too many people around and you just want to build a wall between you and them? Just so you can get some peace of mind? Despite his excitement, Deidara... He's my wall.”

Itachi choked on his drink. “Oh my God,” He sputtered, “That's so cute it's almost sappy...”

“Ha ha,” Sasori snatched the cup away, “Shut up.”

* * *

 

Well, it was now or never.

Itachi looked up at the giant wooden deer head that stood on the roof of the hunting store. 'Buck Shot', the window read, 'All Your Shooting and Game Needs in One Place!'.

Itachi stepped in through the door, already wincing at the overbearing presence of Second Amendment pride and the scent of animal bait and scents. He walked over to the counter, seeing Hidan in a conversation with an elderly woman.

Hidan was inspecting on older rifle, jotting down notes and details on it. Finally, he set it down and handed a form to the woman.

“What's this?” The old woman squinted at the form.

Hidan replied, “The order form that you need to sign.”

“What order?” She frowned, “What does that have to do with you fixing my husband's gun?”

“This is an old model,” Hidan explained, aggravation growing and showing in the tensing of his shoulders, “I don't have the parts needed to fix it in store so I have to order out of state for them.”

“That much?!” The woman squawked when she saw the price, “Oh, he's not going to like that. No, not one bit!”

Hidan took a moment to pinch the bridge of his nose. He also reached for his rosary, “God give me strength...” He muttered before speaking up, “If your husband wants his gun, I have to order these parts. And to order these parts I need the money to deal with customs, okay? Now can you _please_ sign?”

The old woman was still fussing away about 'rude young people', but she signed the forms and left on her way. Itachi stepped closer, giving a sheepish wave, “Hey.”

Hidan locked up the rifle before turning around. “Hey yourself.”

“Is work going well?” Itachi asked, trying to make small-talk. But Hidan shut that down with his response of,

“My eyes are killing me from working on guns and rifles, I have two recent hires threatening to quit if they don't get better hours but they don't realize that since I'm only hiring them to do deliveries, they don't _need_ more hours, and I'm constantly dealing with old, leathery fucks who don't realize that, no, not everything they want is going to be readily GOD-DAMNED available in this shitty podunk hick-factory!”

Itachi needed a moment to decipher that prominent outburst. “I... see.” He finally surrendured.

“What the hell do you want?” Hidan walked around the counter to check on the salt-licks and deer urine jars.

Itachi followed, “Sasori wanted me to ask if you were available to drive us to the party tonight. The bonfire up on Sandy Beach?”

“Oh, wow...” Hidan frowned, “Thanks for that! I almost thought it was the _other_ party happening at the _other_ beach tonight!”

“Sarcasm fits you about as well as a Premium Rate on a two-dollar hooker,” Itachi glared at the other man, his nerves already shot.

Hidan turned around and walked right up to Itachi. “I'm driving, alright? We'll be at your house at 9:30. Be there or we're leaving your ass.”

“Okay then. See, was that so hard?” Itachi asked.

Hidan promptly pointed towards the front door, “Go home and get ready before you get lost and die of frostbite, Itachi.”

* * *

 

Itachi looked down at his phone as he walked through his neighborhood. He had more than enough time to relax, psych himself up, and get ready for the bonfire.

Though the abrupt appearance of Officer Iruka in front of his house was surely going to put a dent in that time.

“Itachi, there you are.” The police officer called over, Itachi approaching carefully.

“Yes..?”

“I was just coming by to check in on you, is all.” Iruka reassured him. Again, Itachi was careful,

“Why..?”

Iruka walked closr to Itachi, the cool wind coming in. “What you saw the other night... It's supposed to be my job to make sure that young folks like you don't get exposed to that or the other gristly bits of this crazy, beautiful world of ours. Especially in this town. Do you understand?”

Itachi looked Iruka up and down, his countenance confused as well as weirded out. “You know, I'm beginning to wish that you had arrested me.”

Iruka walked back to his car. “You watch yourself, Itachi. The strange things in the world are a lot better off without somebody chasing after them.”

The car door slammed shut and Iruka drove off.

“That man... _really_ needs to get laid.” Itachi shrugged, “Anything to get rid of that weirdness.” He walked into his house and was immediately hit with the smell of roasted tomatoes, melting cheese, and oregano.

But soft, what light through yonder window breaks?

It was his father's homemade garlic bread to meet with mother's homemade lasagna.

He stepped into the kitchen and saw Sasuke eating and, oh joy upon _joys_! His mother plating out some food for him!

“Hey, Itachi's here!” Mikoto cheered, “Come on over here and eat some actual food before shoveling down whatever your little party has to offer.”

Who was Itachi to refuse? His mother and father almost never cooked like this anymore (he could tell that much from the paltry state of the fridge when he had first come home).

As he began eating, the medley of flavors oozing and melting over his tongue, he could have sworn that he felt Sasuke glaring at him.

But... That was probably just his imagination. Wait.

“Mother,” He swallowed his mouthful, “Did I... tell you I was going to a party tonight?”

Mikoto stopped what she was doing for a split moment. But she quickly stepped back into her motions. “Yes, you sure did! Right before you left this morning! Now, eat up!”

Oh well, Itachi wasn't going to protest when such incredible, melty, tomato-y goodness was being offered.

* * *

 

Up in his room, Itachi had dumped out the contents of one of his suitcases out onto his bed. “Let's see...” He whispered, pulling out a black dress-shirt and some khakis. “Okay, I can work with this. Wait, no...” He tossed them aside, “This is a beach bonfire, not a wine-tasting at Martha's Vineyard!”

He picked up a pair of cargo shorts, a sweater, and some sandals. “Oh God,” He groaned, “Could I scream 'I'm trying too hard' any louder?”

Itachi stepped over to the mirror in his room and looked himself over. “Maybe...” He tugged on a hoodie that bore a psychedelic image of a tree against a black background. That was followed by jeans and a pair of tennis shoes. “Okay, okay...” He nodded at his reflection, “You actually look like you can blend into a crowd. Still...” He turned around and looked at his behind, “No ass, no matter how much Pilates I do.”

He turned back to face the mirror, clapping his hands against his cheeks. “So _pale..._ Christ! This slick black hair... And no matter how much I stuff my face I'm still so _skinny_!”

If he was still in New York, his therapist would tell him that he's being too harsh on himself... And then try to shove ten different prescriptions down his throat.

Those pills would be helpful right now, though. So many years away from home and what did he have to show for it? No friends, no wife or husband (he wasn't picky), not even any pets.

God, he was such a waste of space.

…

No, he couldn't go out thinking like that.

He chuckled, the sound unexpected but welcome in the tempest of his thoughts. “As bad as I feel, things can only be worse for Snaggletooth.”

'Snaggletooth' was what he and the others used to call the poor nerdy bean-pole they used to make fun of during senior year. God, his scrawny limbs that were too long for his body, the messy brown hair... Oh God, and those teeth! They were so fucked that even his braces were a lost cause!

Itachi... Itachi felt good. He looked fine, he had a warm, full stomach... He could do this! Fuck all of his classmates!

“Have to think of what to say, though...” He hummed, tapping his bottom lip. “'Oh, why hello! I'm Itachi Uchiha, a pleasure!'” He cleared his throat and tried again, “'My goodness, it's been so long! How are you you?'” One more time. “'Hi! I'm Itachi! And I'm such an abject failure of a human being that I refused to acknowledge that my boss was a molester for the sake of keeping my job and squandered all feelings of guilt under a haze of reckless fucking and drug-snorting! And if any of you happen to know any drug-dealers, feel free to send them my way! Because I am _already_ dying inside! I may as well... finish off the process...' Oh God, this has all been a disaster.”

He knocked his head against the cool surface of the mirror. “I wonder, if I try hard enough, if I can force myself into a coma and not have to go to this thing tonight.”

Itachi walked over to his second suitcase and reached around until he found a silver flask. “Please, please, _please_..!” He shook it, praising the powers that be when he heard sloshing fluid inside of it.

His text notification went off. Too late now. It was showtime. “Here's looking at you, kid.” Itachi told his reflection.

“Stop talking to yourself,” His reflection responded, “You're ruining the mood.”

Wow. Even his own reflection had had enough of him.

That sucked.

* * *

 

The sun had gone down, but the accents of orange and violet from it's cyclical death were still draped over the mountains.

The Jeep was silent as Hidan drove: Itachi in the passenger seat, Sasori and Deidara in the back.

Hidan reached for the radio after a while, but Deidara chimed out,

“ _Someone's_ going to look at you and bring you home for a good time, Itachi~!”

Itachi scoffed and rolled his eyes. “Deidara, I'm trying to keep a low-profile. I don't think that screwing any of our old classmates is going to help with that.”

“And the music is going on.” Hidan flicked on the radio, “Meaning all of you are shutting up until we get to the damn party.”

* * *

 

The 'party' really was just a bunch of young people sitting or standing around, waiting for food and drinking beer from the two kegs that had been rolled over. Sure, there was a 'band' playing lazy songs on acoustic guitars and bongo drums, but other than that there was nothing to write home on.

“Oh God, I should have stayed home...” Itachi murmured to himself when, for the sixth time that night, he swore that he heard someone whisper 'Is that Itachi? Holy hell, he looks like shit'.

Itachi brought out his flask and, when he felt that no one was looking, took a drink and let the floral hints of the aged brandy warm up his stomach.

He looked around and saw Hidan carrying a conversation with someone who had the telltale jar-cut of someone about to be shipped off to the front lines.

Itachi didn't want to bother him.

He trudged through the sand and made it to where Sasori and Deidara were sitting, the redhead nursing a cup of beer.

“So, when is the fun supposed to start?” Sasori said, Itachi promptly agreeing,

“ _Right?_ ”

Deidara decided to pipe up, “Eh, I think everyone came here hungry and they're waiting for food to arrive before things get _really_ wild!”

Itachi sat down and looked through the spread-about crowd. He recognized one face, “I made out with her during sophomore year.”

“Yeah, I think she works at the local TV station now.” Sasori added.

“And that guy,” Itachi said, looking at another person, “He wrote me a full love-letter on Valentine's Day during junior year.”

“I think he just got out of jail for dealing Pot without a license.” Deidara clarified.

This was all just too sad. Itachi stood up and walked over to one of the kegs. He poured himself a cup, with plenty of head, and chugged it down.

* * *

 

Two cups down and Itachi was thanking the powers up above that he had brought his flask with him. “Because this beer is _shit_..!” He whistled, drinking from his flask to wash away the watery taste of despair and exaggeration.

There were several whoops and cheers through the crowd of party-goers as a fishing boat docked onto the pier. Itachi watched, not wanting to stray too far from the bonfire since the evening cold was beginning to set in.

Oh, and how he _watched_ a man straight out of one of his well-loved sports magazines step down from the boat and carry over a large cooler.

“Who is _that_?” Itachi whispered to Deidara as the ebony, punk Adonis helped to put some seafood and vegetables together for the seafood bake.

Deidara looked over, “Hm?” When he saw who Itachi was ogling, his smile turned mischievous. “Ooh, you don't remember!”

“Remember?” Itachi whispered, “Deidara, I've never seen that guy before in my life! Trust me, I think I would remember such...” He allowed his eyes to drape over those thick arms, the bubble-butt visible through his jeans, and the messy blue hair. But he chose to point out, “Interesting tattoos.” Referring to the tribal marks near his eyes.

Deidara had to set his beer down in order to not spill it through his laughs. Itachi was losing his patience, “Deidara, _please_. Just tell me.”

Deidara sighed, “Fine... I guess you could say that a few years really change a person. Well except for the teeth.”

What?

No...

Itachi looked back at the man who had attracted his attention just in time to see him smile big and bright, his teeth sharper than he remembered and without braces, but not the best.

“ _That's_ Snaggletooth?!?!” Itachi shouted, Deidara covering his mouth and tugging him away before anyone could link that sudden outburst to them.

When they got back to where Sasori was sitting, the redhead smiled, “I take it he saw Kisame?”

Deidara nodded with a smile, Itachi feeling like he just got a rug pulled from underneath him and it caused him to fall and break his nose.

“I... I think I need another beer.” Itachi whispered, walking on shaky legs to get back to the kegs.

* * *

 

Seven cups down, with brandy in-between, and Itachi was feeling a _looooottt_ more talkative. “Why doesn't anyone _like me..?_ ” He groaned, leaning against Deidara as he nursed cup number eight. “Hidan hates me--”

“I don't hate you, fuck-face!!” Hidan shouted over, “And stop drinking, you've obviously had enough!”

Itachi ignored him, continuing to groan and moan to Sasori and Deidara.

“Itachi, you shouldn't be so harsh on yourself.” Sasori said, setting down his cup. Deidara agreed,

“Yeah, fuck those haters! Who cares if no one likes you?!”

“Wait,” Sasori tried to calm his boyfriend down, “Deidara, that's not what I mea--”

Itachi ignored everyone and slammed his beer back, tossing the cup somewhere. He brought out his flask and chugged from that too.

Sasori was beginning to agree with Hidan. “Okay, Itachi, maybe you should ease up a bit.”

“And maybe _you_...” Itachi said, standing up on wobbly legs, “Should give me space! Because I am feeling _pretty_ damn _dandy_! Huh?!” He walked away, smelling food. He wasn't _really_ hungry, but he supposed that he should try to get something down to soak up the alcohol.

And, lo' and behold, he happened to see two _delectable_ looking buns waiting for him near the bonfire...

Kisame yelped when he felt someone roughly squeeze at his ass. He turned around, about to shout, when he saw the offender. “Wait...” He tilted his head, easing Itachi's hands off of him, “Itachi? Itachi Uchiha? Holy shit, I haven't seen you since graduation! How are you?”

“Hey... _Snaggletooth_!” Itachi slurred out, “God, you are such a good ge-gentle...” He had to stop to try and figure out the word. “Gentlefucker! Yeah, let's go with that! Mm, you got hot~!”

Kisame had to ease Itachi's hands away from him again. “You okay? Maybe you had a bit too much fun earlier...”

Itachi shook his head, “ _Nothing_ in my life has been fun! I don't even know the _meaning_ of the word~! I haven't had fun since my mother had to go to the hospital for her nervous breakdowns and my father tried to distract my brother and me with a camping trip~! God, my life _ssssucks_ ~!!”

“Okay!” Hidan walked over, trying to grab Itachi, “I think _someone_ has gone beyond his limits. Sorry about all that, Kisame, he's... Yeah, I don't even fucking know.”

Kisame gave an understanding smile. “There's a bed on the boat. Maybe we should let him sleep this off.”

“ _Nnnooo~!_ ” Itachi fought against Hidan's hold, “I wanna sstay here and – and talk to Snaggletooth~!” He pushed Hidan away and climbed on top of the table. “You're all so beautiful and hot and sexy... But you could all be wiped away in the blink of an eye! J-just...” He shook his head, “I could go on a knife-y, shooty, stabby rampage and just... stabby-slit-slit-bang-bang!”

“Itachi, get down from there, you crazy asshole!” Hidan shouted up at him.

Itachi shook his head, holding up an unsteady arm, “ _No_ , Hidan, you don't even _like_ me! Why are you trying to talk to me~? I want to stay up here, near the fire, and the... the...” He grabbed a plate of seafood and vegetables, stuffing some potatoes into his mouth. “Damn, this is really good~! I'm being _POSITIVE_! Like the self-help blogs say~!!”

“Whoo!” Deidara whooped, “Positivity!!”

“'Positively plastered' is more like it.” Sasori muttered. Hidan tossed his hands up into the air,

“Fine! See if I drive your asses anywhere ever again!”

“Fuck New York!” Itachi began again, his mouth full. He swallowed before adding, “And fuck politics, too!”

That got some cheers of agreement, though those close to Itachi still found themselves groaning.

“People think that New York is this... this great, progressive Wonderland – a-and iz not!” Itachi continued, swaying on his feet. “It's just like here! Only bigger-er! And with more rats... And everything'szs shit-colored! J-just go to a paint shop and ask for 'Shit #5' and you'll get it! And politics!” He spat out the word, “It's just a bunch of rich, old, white people stabbing little Filipino boys and inappropriately touching papers~!!”

Sasori winced, “God, I hope that you meant to switch those two around.”

Itachi let the plate of food fall to the sand. He clutched at his head, whining, “God, the voices! The crying! The eyes that look up at you, wondering why you aren't helping them!!” At the flip of a coin, Itachi lifted his head, “But none of that matters now~!! _Nnnope_! I'm home! In this snowy, fishy hellhole! Without proper cell-reception~!” He tossed his head back, _“HOME AGAIN!!”_

“Home again!” Deidara cheered, clapping his hands.

Itachi broke into several sobs, the adrenaline giving out. Oh. There was also the pain in his stomach. He buckled over, choking before expelling the contents of his stomach onto the sand. He didn't even get to wipe his mouth before he collapsed from the table and into the sand.

* * *

 

“I am _so_ sorry about all of that.”

“No, it's fine. He's a real piece of work, ah?”

“But at least he's home, right?”

“... Right.”

* * *

 

Itachi blinked once.

Twice. He slowly roused into lethargic consciousness, finding himself in Hidan's Jeep. Sasori and Deidara had probably already been dropped off.

“Hey, listen.” Hidan grit out, “You puke in this car, you're out on your ass.”

Itachi groaned, “Oh God, Hidan, I'm so sorry... What the hell even happened..?”

Hidan took a turn. “You got completely shit-faced and made _quite_ the name for yourself.”

Itachi looked down at his palms, not even able to control his hands properly at that point. “R-remember when we were breast friendss, Hidan~?” He tried to make himself more comfortable but stopped when he just flopped about. “You used to sleep over... We were boy scoutss... You called me 'Itchy' and I called you 'Hi-chan'..?”

Hidan was so tempted to turn on the radio. But he didn't. “That was back when we were ten, Itachi. How do you even remember that?”

Itachi groaned again. “Hi-chan, why... why you so mad at me alla time..? I...” He choked back a retch, “Oh God, if I puke in this car, your mom's gonna hate me~! Fuck, tell your mom I'm sorry I haven't been by to visit! She's just... she's just so great..!”

Hidan pulled the Jeep over so fast that the tires screeched out in protest. “Fucking DAMN IT, Itachi!!” Hidan screamed, his hands trembling against the wheel. Itachi looked over and saw his friend...

Crying?

“H-Hidan?” Itachi asked.

“My Mom's _dead_ , Itachi!!” Hidan screamed, “Five months after graduation, she was working on a gun and it had an accidental discharge!”

“Wha..?” Itachi shook his head, his horrified voice a whisper, “Oh my God, no..! She was so nice..!”

Hidan forced the driver's side door open and stormed out. He walked around the car and pulled Itachi out, yelling at him, “How the _fuck_ did you forget about her?! You could just say you don't give a solitary shit about me, but how could you forget about _her_?! I even messaged you when she passed, you fucking piece of shit!!”

Itachi was sure that Hidan was going to punch him, but all he did was sink further into tears. “Look at this!” He forced Itachi against the side of the Jeep and held his rosary in his face. “This is _her_ rosary! She gave it to me on her deathbed! How could you ignore that?!”

“Hidan, I'm so sorry!” Itachi insisted, Hidan shoving him against the Jeep and turning around. “Hidan, what is it? Talk to me!!”

Hidan shook his head. “You used to be worth talking to. Worth hanging out with. You were the smart kid we all thought would be destined for something great.” He turned to face Itachi, “ _Now_ look at you. I don't even _recognize_ you.”

For some reason, those last few words hurt more than anything that had transpired that night.

Hidan held up his hands but let them fall to his sides. “Why... did you even come back, Itachi? Why the _fuck_ are you here?”

Itachi... didn't know what to say. So Hidan went on.

“Was New York too hard for you? Were you just not being challenged enough? Fuck you, Itachi, if I had even _half_ of the chances that you got... Fuck, I would _kill_ for even a third of them. I still fucking would.” He stepped closer to Itachi, “I would run you over with my car right now if it meant I could go enlist and _do_ something with my life!”

* * *

 

Eventually Hidan did drive to Itachi's house. Of course, Itachi was a miserable mess by the time they arrived so he had to help him in.

Not before Itachi puked again, getting it all over his psychadelic hoodie. “Fucking great...” Hidan rolled his eyes, opening the door.

Sasuke was watching some K-Drama on TV when he heard the door open. He turned around, thinking it was just Itachi, but he stood straight up when he saw the pitiful state his older brother was in. “What the hell happened to him?!”

“Life.” Hidan frowned, “I'm going upstairs to clean him up and then I'll be out of here. Sound good?”

What else could Sasuke do besides nod and go back to watching his show.

Well, a lot of things, but that's what he chose to do.

* * *

 

Hidan had scrubbed what he could out of Itachi's hoodie and hung it up in the bathroom. Itachi was sitting on the floor in case he had to puke again. Which he did, almost not making it to the toilet before he vomited what little was left in his stomach up. Hidan groaned, walking over and holding Itachi's hair back. “Come on, get it all out.” He whispered, patting Itachi's back down.

When Itachi was done, Hidan flushed the toilet and cleaned Itachi's face before leading him to his bedroom.

Hidan cursed under his breath when he saw all of the boxes. He carefully navigated through them before helping Itachi into bed. He removed his shoes and covered him with a blanket. “There. That should be fine.”

“God, Hidan...” Itachi whimpered, “Why am I such a wreck?”

“You know --” Hidan began, but he decided against it. “Forget it. It's not all your fault. You're still young.”

Itachi shook his head. “We're the same age, you prick...”

Hidan rolled his eyes. “Well, guess that's where the difference is. I stayed here and was forced to grow up while you went off and got to be a kid a bit longer.”

Itachi was soon snoring away, Hidan sitting down next to him. He brushed Itachi's hair out of his face and tucked him in. “Goodnight Itchy.”

* * *

 

In the spiraling, boiling darkness, screams dissolved into roars, which thickened into the shattering of glass.

“... Do they offend you?”

The chaotic sound shook the dark cavern once more, the waters bubbling.

“I see. I will get rid of them, then.”

* * *

 

 


	3. The Angel of Nugget Hills

* * *

 

Itachi woke up and felt like utter, dried-out shit.

He rolled over onto his back. “I don't even need to look in the mirror to know that I look God-awful.” His phone went off and he swiped it on to see that he had two messages: Deidara's picture bouncing and Hidan's picture bouncing.

'Heya!' Deidara's message read, 'Hope ur feeling better! Last night was p cray! … I'll be at the Snack Pack in case you wanna hang. 'Kay, bye!'

Itachi clicked on Hidan's message. 'Hey. Sorry about last night. If you need to talk, I'll be at Buck Shot all day.”

Itachi grabbed some clothes and walked to the bathroom for a shower.

* * *

 

He was descending the stairs when his mother called out, “Itachi, grab some breakfast before you head out!”

Itachi sighed and made his way to the kitchen. Mikoto had set a bowl of oatmeal that smelled of cinnamon and a cup of orange juice upon the table. Itachi sat down and started eating, “Thank you. I take it that Sasuke told you about last night?”

Mikoto hummed, “Oh, just something along the lines of 'Hidan had to drag Itachi in while he puked all over the place.”

“Of course.” Itachi continued eating, Mikoto setting some fish to thaw in the sink.

“I wonder if I should even bother...” Mikoto hummed as she checked if she had all the things for what she planned to make later. “I could always buy fresh fish now that Kisame has brought in this week's catch...”

Itachi felt like dying anytime he heard that name. “He was at the bonfire last night.” Itachi commented, “Is he a fisherman now or something?”

Mikoto happily nodded. “One of the best! Before he came back into town, the other fishing boats could barely bring anything in. But Kisame manages to catch enough to keep the town fed and the fish trade in business!”

“I see...” Itachi finished off his oatmeal and drank down the juice before announcing, “Alright, I'll be back in a bit.”

“Itachi, wait.” Mikoto stopped him. When he turned around, she asked, “Are you ready to talk about what happened in New York, Itachi? Because, judging from what I've been hearing, you were really upset about it last night.”

Itachi shook himself out of her hold. “Later, Mother. Call me if you need me to pick anything up from the store.”

Itachi shut the door behind himself before Mikoto could stop him.

* * *

 

Itachi zipped up his coat and walked along the main road in town. Before he knew it, wandering about in his thoughts had gotten him to the town square. He looked up and saw Iruka trying to placate a distressed group of old people and housewives. When he got closer, he could hear Iruka announce, “I need everyone to stay calm! There's no reason why anyone needs to get hurt over a hunk of wood.”

“This 'hunk of wood'!” One of the old men snapped out, “As you call it, was one of Sitka's most beloved Totem Poles, Iruka! You need to find the hooligans who caused this... this – !!”

“Terrorist attack upon our town's history!” A housewife shouted, the crowd agreeing.

“Wait...” Iruka frowned, “'Terrorism'? I don't think we need to go that far...”

Itachi peeked around the crowd and saw the source of their anger. There were all sorts of ancient Totem Poles around Sitka, proud sigils of a culture long since pushed from the area. This one had been toppled to the ground and broken apart. As Itachi felt pity for the strong visage of a bear that would never again watch over the land, he noticed that someone had... painted something upon the remaining pieces with thick, black, foul-smelling tar.

But Itachi, for all the foreign languages he studied in college, couldn't make rhyme nor reason of the symbols slathered over the ancient wood.

All he could tell, though, is that whoever did this wanted the Totem Pole, and everything it and its brethren stood for...

Destroyed.

And out of sight.

“Iruka!” One of the old people said. “Find who did this. I want to see them hang!”

Iruka sighed, “At most, they'd probably get a fine. Maybe some Community Service.”

There were grumbles and groans all throughout the crowd but they soon dispersed. “I bet it was one of those homeless types that Kakashi harbors in the churchyard!” Another old woman whispered as she passed Itachi, a housewife crying,

“Why won't someone think of our children?!”

Iruka didn't stick around long, either. He took a few pictures of the crime-scene and drove off after taping off the area.

Itachi turned to leave. Not without one last look. Hell, he had a better idea since this was going to keep bothering him. He brought out his phone and took a few pictures of the crime-scene, paying close attention to the strange words.

Finally, he turned and left.

* * *

 

Since Ms. Shizune was still going to be on the job that she got hired for, Itachi walked around the town: taking in the sights, the buildings that remained. He even walked past Sushi La Belle's, noting that it seemed to be a lot quieter than normal.

He walked up to the window, expecting to see at least the staff cleaning. But he fell back, bracing himself against a telephone pole. “What?” He shook his head, “No... No! This ca not be happening.”

There, across the window, was a giant red sign that read 'Thanks for all the good years, Sitka, but we've got to move on!'

“Sushi La Belle's is _gone_?!” Itachi shouted to no one in particular, “N-no more dressing up to go eat. No more sake for minors. No more culture! Oh _God_...” He shook his head, “I am so fucking depressed right now. This is the worst thing to happen to this town since the old park had to be shut down because it was a Listeria breeding pool!”

With a heavy heart full of fond memories of _actually_ good sushi, Itachi walked away. “Honestly, that was a huge downer. I need a positive outlook, stat.” He looked around to see which part of town he was in and remembered that he actually wasn't too far from the only other church in town besides St. Michael's.

* * *

 

Bountiful Harvest Church was a small, humble affair: a simple brick chapel in a clearing in the woods. Itachi walked up to the building... and walked right past the door. He needed a positive outlook, not judgement from the powers that be.

He walked around the simple church grounds, snow and dead leaves crunching under his feet. The quiet... it was offering some good, in the grand scheme.

“... check on you.”

Itachi circled the church and saw two men talking. One had silver hair that shot up at all angles like and electrified scarecrow. He was dressed in a simple suit as he conversed with an older man with long, wild white hair. He had on a dirty pair of jeans and a tattered jacket, both of which reeked from a long while without a wash.

“You getting enough to eat out here?” The man in the suit asked the older man. He took a look at the flimsy tent and the campfire that was set up. “Staying warm.”

The old man chuckled, sitting down and pulling out a box of cigarettes. “I get by.” He pulled out one of three remaining cigarettes and patted himself down, searching for a lighter. The man in the suit stepped over and offered his own lighter, lighting up the old man's cigarette. “Much obliged.”

“Well, Jiraiya,” The man in the suit said, “I'm trying to work out something to help you and the others around town.”

Jiraiya took a deep breath, exhaling out wisps of smoke. “Don't you go gettin' in any trouble, Kakashi.”

Kakashi shrugged, “I'll keep that in mind. For the time being, though, I'll go grab you some blankets from the church. That seems to be the only thing we have in surplus now of days.”

Itachi decided to stop being a creeper and make himself known. He walked over and stood between the two men. “Hey there. Just wanted to stop and say 'hi' to the only church in town that doesn't make me feel like I'm an abomination.”

“Oh, hey!” Kakashi looked Itachi over, “Yeah... You're Mikoto's eldest son, aren't you? She talks about you a lot. How proud of you she is and how much she worries –”

“So, I take it that you're the new pastor here?” Itachi interrupted. Kakashi blinked.

“Yep. Yes, yes I am. Oh, guess I should introduce you to my friend Jiraiya here.”

Itachi turned to the older man, initially uneasy and uncomfortable (he had spent so long in New York that ignoring homeless people had been an inconvenient necessity). “Hello sir.” Jiraiya nodded in acknowledgement, so Itachi went on, “Do you... live in these woods?”

Jiraiya exhaled his next bit of smoke into the air. “Yep.”

“But!” Kakashi interjected, “I'm working on changing that before the blizzards come in. God is bigger than the bogeyman known as City Council.”

“I don't want you getting' yourself in any trouble, boy.” Jiraiya insisted, Kakashi waving the last comment off.

“Well,” Itachi brought out five bucks and set it in the can of change that Jiraiya had placed in front of his little set up, “I should get going. It was good meeting both of you.”

Kakashi waved him off, calling over, “Come to service sometime!”

* * *

 

Itachi had a digging feeling in the back of his head. Something about his experience at the church just filled him with the need to talk to Hidan. He stepped inside of Buck Shot and looked around for Hidan, seeing him checking off a delivery sheet for one of his drivers.

He waited until the driver went on his way before stepping closer. “Hello Hidan.”

“Yo.” Hidan filed the sheet.

“Listen...” Itachi needed a moment. … Okay. “I'm sorry about last night. The phrase 'make an ass of myself' is too tame for what I did.”

“It's fine.” Hidan leaned against the counter, “But thanks for apologizing. And I'm... I'm sorry too. About what I said.”

There. The air was clear and now things could go back to normal. “I figure that Deidara's going to call us for band-practice later?”

“Yeah,” Hidan replied, “But probably not until after sunset today.”

“Can I ask,” Itachi began, “How did you end up getting pulled into the band?”

Hidan lit up a cigarette. “A while after you left, Sasori called and told me that Deidara was feeling _really_ depressed. I decided to help out with the band, you know, just to keep his brain occupied with something to look forward to.”

Itachi nodded, remembering just how bad Deidara had been without his meds the other day. He looked over at Hidan, seeing the other man's face in profile as he looked off into space: the ember of the cigarette causing his pale skin to hum with the glow.

“Hey...” Itachi smiled, “You know what I haven't done since I got back into town?”

“Looked for a job?” Hidan answered, “Because I ain't hiring right now, buddy.”

Itachi didn't even want to dignify that with a response. “The Nugget Mall. Come on, we should go.”

“Itachi...” Hidan frowned, “I have work...”

“Can't you leave for, you know, just an hour?” Itachi insisted. “Come on. _Please_?”

Hidan groaned, the weight of responsibility struggling to stay steady upon his shoulders. It fell, shattering upon the floor. “Fine. But _just_ an hour!”

* * *

 

As soon as the glass doors slid open, Itachi quickly walked in. “Ah, Nugget Hill! It's been so long, you beautiful, exquisite...” He looked around, “Depressing piece of _crap_ , holy _shit_.”

The mall that had been so sparkly and vast and new when they were ten was now barely holding up: empty retail spaces all over, barely anyone walking around, dusty kiosks that sold terrible 'As Seen on TV' products. “What the hell happened, Hidan?”

“Itachi, it's 20-fucking-17! Who, except for you, apparently, goes to the mall?!” Was Hidan's response.

Itachi stepped ahead, looking around again. “What happened to _Turning A New Page_? That was my favorite bookstore!”

“Kindle.” Hidan stated, walking past Itachi and his dismay.

Itachi started walking again, clicking his tongue, “What happened to _Buzztown Arcade_?”

“Steam.” Hidan stated.

“ _Funky Town Records_?”

“I am just going to make a big-ass sign that says 'The Internet, Dumbass' for any time you ask a question like this.” Hidan walked on.

They meandered through the pathetic-looking mall, Itachi wishing that he had suggested a different place with every passing ruined memory. “Wait.” He walked ahead of Hidan and stood in front of a familiar-looking black and red storefront. “Oh my God, _Hot Topic_?! _This_ shit is still here but _Turning a New Page_ had to leave?!”

“Holy crap, wow.” Hidan walked over. “Didn't expect this.”

Itachi shook his head, a groan shifting into a laugh, “I can feel the edginess and the commercialized angst from here.” He smiled at Hidan. “We're doing this.”

“Itachi, no.” Hidan was firm in his protests, steadying his stance where he stood, “There is no way in hell you are getting me in --”

* * *

 

“God fucking damn it, Itachi.” Hidan seethed as they walked into the dimly-lit temple of Pop Rock and 'Goth' Disney merchandise.

“Wow.” Itachi whistled as he inspected some of the shirts, “I am officially thirteen years-old again.”

They walked past the wall of terrible posters for terrible bands and were passing the main counter when the cashier announced, “20 Percent Off on select shi--” He looked up from his 3DS, “Wow, you guys are... kind of old to be in here..?”

Itachi and Hidan turned and glared at the kid, whose name was Haku, according to his lanyard. “Just looking around for gifts.” Itachi insisted, Hidan agreeing,

“That shirt offer sounded good though, thank you.”

Haku shrugged and went back to his game.

“Come on, let's go.” Itachi said, walking out the door. But Hidan silently signaled for him to stay put, quickly walking over to the cubby-system that held all of the belt-buckles, pins, and rubber bracelets. He made sure that Haku wasn't looking before he grabbed a handful of one and mixed them into the cubby for another, repeating the process until the small items were all mixed and jumbled.

“Okay, didn't see anything that would be good; let's go!” Hidan grabbed Itachi and dragged him down the hall outside of the store until they were a while away. When they were finally in the clear, Hidan smirked, “Have fun doing inventory, you little shit.”

* * *

 

They walked around a while more, Itachi keeping his dismay at the sight of all of the empty spaces to a minimum until Hidan yawned, stretching his arms. “You wanna get some food or something?”

“Yeah, I guess.” Itachi followed Hidan to the Food Court. “What's even still here anyway?”

“Most of the same.” Hidan answered, “You just have to yell to make sure that someone will come and make your damn food.”

They split up, agreeing to meet at the one not-crooked table when they were done. Itachi came back first, unwrapping his food and digging in.

“What did you get?” Hidan asked when he sat down. “You're already stuffing your face so I can barely make out what it used to be.”

Itachi looked down, swallowing, “Cheeseburger-Burrito at _Grande Hut_.”

Hidan opened up the orange chicken and fried rice he had gotten from _Dragon Emperor's._ “That shit's going to take forever to burn off. Hey!” He kicked at Itachi's shin underneath the table, “Maybe you'll finally put some meat on that scrawny ass of yours!”

“Oh, shut up!” Itachi kicked back.

They ate in relative silence. The stagnant loop of 'Retail-Approved Music' floated around them, cloying the air.

“I just remembered.” Itachi spoke up, “Isn't this where Konan Pacon ripped out whats-her-face's hair extensions?”

Hidan nodded. After he swallowed some more rice, he said, “Yeah, you heard about what happened back then, right?”

Itachi leaned back in his chair, “I don't know, kind of? Wasn't she pregnant with... Oh God,” He tried to catch the memory, “What was his name? Paul? Pedro? Pe--”

“Pein Rinne.” Hidan helped him out, “Yeah, he knocked her up. Surprised you remember that.”

“Well, he _did_ make quite the spectacle at our Junior Homecoming game.” Itachi took another bite, chewing slowly between his words, “He ran out to the center of the field and shouted 'This game is for my beautiful baby boy and his sexy mama Konan Pacon!' Or... something like that. I mostly remember Konan being unable to finish her cheer routine because she was sobbing so much. Then...” He swallowed, reaching for his soda, “He dumped her for whats-her-face a week or two later.”

“Ah, yep!” Hidan pointed his soda in Itachi's direction, “ _That's_ what I knew about before that Olympics-worthy cat-fight happened.”

“I wonder...” Itachi sighed, “What Pein's up to now...”

Hidan had the answer to that. “Well, Pein got his leg fucked up to hell and back during a boating trip. Somehow he and Konan got reconnected through it and they got hitched!”

“Huh.” Itachi said.

“Ain't this a bitch, though,” Hidan leaned into the table, “During that whole affair... And seeing how, even after all that, Pein's parents helped them buy a mobile home out in Saturn Springs, I just used to think 'Wow, God. When is it going to be _my_ turn for that?'”

Itachi didn't know what to say. He could have addressed the wedding band on Hidan's finger, or mentioned how fucked up that whole mess had been (that other girl had to go to the hospital to get her bleeding scalp stitched up). But he didn't open his mouth.

* * *

 

Itachi finished off the rest of his meal and was watching the sparse amount of mall-goers and elderly citizens meander about. He looked behind Hidan and noticed that they were seated next to a familiar sight. It looked to be made of crystal, but Itachi knew that it was just metal pulled incredibly thin and painted an impossible hue. She stood tall, beautiful, her wings outstretched behind her: several bells gathering dust around her and her welcoming arms.

“Hidan...”

“Yeah.” Hidan turned around, “They haven't let the bells ring since the mall started going under. 'A waste of electricity'.” He took a sip of his soda and let the cup hit the table a bit too hard. “I wanted to bring my Mom here, when she was sick. Just to hear the bells one more time, just to cheer her up.”

Itachi looked at the statue again. He stood to his feet, already walking over, “I'm going to go say 'hi'. It's been a while.”

“Itachi, no.” Hidan groaned, “Come on, get back here and wait for me to finish my food so we can go.” Itachi didn't listen. But he didn't go directly for the statue, either. He walked up the nearby flight upstairs and started looking around. He remembered having stumbled upon it one day when his mother was busy taking Sasuke for an eye-exam. Where...

“Fucking amazing.” He grinned when he found the completely unguarded, dusty, cobweb-covered control-panel. There was a button for the lights, two levers for the wings, and, most importantly, several switches for those beautiful bells. He pressed the button, the lights in that area of the mall dimming.

“What the hell?” Hidan muttered, looking around. Several people were also curious. Itachi went on, flipping through the attached catalogue of songs before choosing one. He pulled one of the levers, the statue's wings flapping slowly to dislodge some of the webs and dust. Finally, it was time.

When the sweet, sombre but beautiful song began, the bells surrounding the angel began to chime in rhythm. The statue's entire form, wings and all, was set aflame in brilliant glowing patterns and colors.

Hidan shook his head. His eyes were wide, his mouth agape in awe. “Oh... my...” He stood and walked, eyes not leaving the source of the music, the origin of those entrancing colors. “Holy fucking crap, Itachi...” He whispered, wiping at his eyes when he felt twin trails of salt run down his face.

Other people had wandered over to see what the commotion was, but it had been _so_ long since the bells had been rung that no one bothered to complain about the beautiful sight.

Itachi changed the colors engulfing the statue, looking down to see Hidan crying: his hand clenched around his mother's rosary and a smile on his face.

* * *

 

“Still too bad about Nugget Hills.”

They were walking out to the parking lot, Hidan needing to check into Buck Shot before closing.

“Yeah, well,” Hidan folded his arms behind his head, “What are ya going to do?”

Itachi agreed, yes. But... “It's just that... this mall used to _be_ something. Now it's just... whatever this is.”

They were almost at Hidan's Jeep. Itachi was a few steps away from the passenger's side door. “We... used to be something.”

Itachi turned around. “What?”

He gasped when Hidan walked up behind him, so close, and gently pressed him against the Jeep's side. They didn't say anything. Itachi's eyes looked into Hidan's. Hidan gazed back at Itachi.

Hidan moved forward, grabbing Itachi's ponytail in a subtle grip and tilting him back the slightest bit, slipping their lips against one another.

Was he starved for any sort of affection?

Yes.

Should he have pushed Hidan away?

With that wedding band on his finger, of course.

… Itachi wasn't a good person.

He pulled Hidan closer, deepening the kiss and rocking his hips against him. Hidan groaned into his mouth. His breath tasted like orange glaze and cigarettes, but Itachi didn't stop. Not when he felt Hidan's fingers dig into his thigh, their tongues sweeping over each other's palates: their lips slick and bruised against each other.

Hidan pulled back, panting and watching Itachi through hazy eyes. Itachi tried to catch his breath. He wiped a hand across his forehead, “We... probably shouldn't have done that.”

“It's different now.” Hidan said, looking down at the band on his finger.

Now or never. “How long?” Itachi asked, Hidan answering,

“Almost a year, year and a half now. He runs one of the cargo boats, so he's only in for a few days of the month.” He twisted the golden band on his finger and turned around, walking to the driver's side. “Come on,” He lit up a cigarette, “Let's get back to town.”

* * *

 

Practice was mostly trying to get Itachi back up to snuff, so they really didn't get much in the way of actual song-playing done.

Itachi walked back inside of his house. It was just his father downstairs again: trying to relax from a long day at the refinery. “Hello.”

“Hey, there's the party animal.” Fugaku smirked, Itachi groaning.

“You never have to worry about me getting that drunk ever again.”

Fugaku only laughed, changing the channel on the TV. “I take it you've heard about the vandalism of the Totem Pole. Probably a bunch of punk kids with nothing better to do.”

“Still,” Itachi shrugged, “They seemed to want to be known for what they did. Those symbols that were slathered onto the broken pie--”

“Hey, it's getting pretty late.” Fugaku yawned, turning off the TV, “I'm probably going to head on to bed. You should get some sleep too.”

And then he was gone. Up the stairs before Itachi could even ask him if he was feeling alright. “O... kay then.” He frowned, “I guess I'll head up too.”

* * *

 

Heavy footfalls echoed throughout the cavern. Everytime a boot was lifted, it pulled away viscous slime and flourescent muck.

Those howling screams and gurgling roars began once again.

“Please learn some patience. I understand that time is something... beyond you. But you need to wait.”

* * *

 

 

 


	4. Art Class

* * *

 

“Have you thought about looking for wo--”

“Goodbye Mother!”

Itachi jogged out of the house that morning, determined not to hear whatever his mother was saying.

“Hey Betty Boop.” Deidara greeted Itachi from where he was attaching clearance tags to bags of chips.

“Hey Tweety Bird.” Itachi replied before walking over.

Deidara jumped up, tags flying everywhere. “You know,” He folded his arms, “I've been thinking about jail a lot lately.”

“Jail?” Itachi choked. This really wasn't a point he wanted to talk about now, but Deidara continued,

“Yeah. I probably wouldn't last a day. Maybe if I became someone's prison-bitch...”

Itachi decided to take that time to walk over to the ATM. It had been long enough, so he could use it without drawing attention. “So..!” Deidara clapped his hands together, “You want to go hang out? I'm sure there's something we can do!”

The idea was tempting. He really hadn't spent much time with Deidara since he'd been back. But... for some strange reason, the memory of the broken Totem Pole kept interrupting his mind's decisions. “I'll be back in a few minutes and then we can go.” Itachi reassured his friend.

Deidara nodded, going back to tagging. “Hurry back!”

* * *

 

The further Itachi walked from the Snack Pack, the more his mind focused on the broken Totem Pole. He brought out his phone and pulled up the pictures he had taken that day.

“What language are you?” He whispered, still walking. The symbols didn't have any rooting in Latin, German, Hebrew – nothing!

“Everyone keep it easy...”

Itachi looked up and saw that he had wandered onto the grounds of Bountiful Harvest Church. He circled the building and happened upon that panicky group of old people and housewives, along with Officer Iruka and Jiraiya.

“So...” One of the housewives made no small show of her covering her nose to block Jiraiya's smell. “You would describe yourself as a bit of a... drifter?”

Jiraiya shrugged, “For the time being.”

“Of course, of course...” An old man folded his arms. “We just wanted to... see how you're getting along out here.”

Jiraiya sat down on one of the blankets that Kakashi had gotten him. “Yeah, yeah... Kakashi's been a good kid.”

“Well, Officer?” One of the housewives who had brought her toddler along sneered.

Iruka removed his cap to readjust his ponytail. “I... don't see anything of note here. Just an old man sitting in the woods.”

The crowd dispersed, not to leave but to poke around Jiraiya's tent and meager belongings. “Pretty impressive for a drifter.” An old woman huffed.

“Lots of books.” A housewife noted, “For a drifter.”

“Used to be a pastor,” Jiraiya shrugged, “In this town, even. Back when the oil was here.”

The members of the crowd picked and pecked around until they were satisfied. “Okay Jiraiya,” The old woman who had appointed herself as leader stated, “Thank you for taking the time to talk to us today. You watch yourself now.”

And, with that, they filed out of the clearing. Iruka sighed and waited until they were gone. He reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a pastrami sandwich and an unopened box of cigarettes. “Thanks again, Jiraiya.”

“No trouble at all, kid.” Jiraiya said, happily taking the gifts. Itachi stayed out of sight as Iruka passed. When the officer was gone, he stepped over to Jiraiya's camp just as the older man was setting up another fire. “Hope they weren't giving you too much trouble.”

Jiraiya shrugged and lit up a cigarette. “It's fine. They're just worried about their town.”

Itachi set a ten-dollar bill in the bowl in front of Jiraiya before sitting down. “How did you end up in a place like this?”

Jiraiya chuckled, coughing out puffs of ash and smoke. “Bit forward, ain't ya? I could ask you the same thing, Political Aid.”

Itachi felt sick. But... there was some kind of validation of someone mentioning his life in New York.

Jiraiya sighed, “Just playin' with ya. I only know about that because of a train I hopped in Jersey. Anyway... Just a chain of bad luck, I guess. My kind of preaching no longer has a home in this country.”

“I see.” Itachi said.

* * *

 

Itachi left when Jiraiya decided to close up his meager tent for a nap. It was good timing, too, because Kakashi had just driven up. The pastor pulled several bags of groceries out of his backseat and was carrying them to the church in that time-honored tradition of 'one trip or die trying'. “Here.” Itachi took a few of the bags and began helping Kakashi inside. “I guess the Lord works in mysterious ways,” Kakashi said.

“How so?” Itachi asked, following the pastor into the kitchen.

“Well...” Kakashi opened up the fridge and started putting things away. “Your mother has been praying that you may find it in your heart to come inside of this place one of these days. And now you're here. Funny, huh?”

Itachi didn't appreciate having been manipulated. It left a sour taste in his mouth, even coming from some invisible divine force.

Nevertheless, he finished helping Kakashi and took an apple for his troubles. “Make sure to stop by again. I'm sure your mother would appreciate it.”

Of course she would.

But would Itachi?

* * *

 

“And the bat knocked him out in one go!”

Itachi had caught up with Deidara and the two were currently walking through the cold woods trying to find whatever item of interest Deidara had set up earlier.

“Are you sure that that person was okay?” Itachi asked, to which Deidara shrugged,

“Eh, who cares. That's what happens when you try to gay-bash my boyfriendo. Anyway, look: WE'RE HERE!!”

Itachi looked at their current location: a half-demolished schoolhouse that looked like it hadn't been touched, outside of drug-dealers and horny teens, since the sixties.

“Deidara, what is this?”

Deidara laughed a little laugh and walked forward to where a small cooler rested a few feet away from the building. He opened it up, Itachi walking over to see a chaotic assortment of filled water balloons.

How did he know that they weren't filled with anything close to water?

“So, what are we doing here?”

“We!” Deidara picked up one of the sloshing balloons. “Are making art! Explosive! Chaotic! Messy! Beautiful!” He hurled a balloon over at the remains of the building, the thin rubber exploding in a splatter of blue.

“You are so random.” Itachi reached into the cooler for a balloon. He took a few steps before he hurled it at the wall, vibrant red splashing against the blue stain.

Deidara laughed, “There we go!” He grabbed two balloons and threw them one after the other. The splash of pink missed and hit what remained of the roof, but the green clipped the side of the building.

Okay, this was actually more fun than Itachi would have thought. No wonder those pretentious artsy fucks who lived across from him in New York were so happy.

…

Well, this and the drugs probably.

… Damn it, Itachi still missed Coke.

He tried to push the thought out of his head by grabbing more balloons and tossing them at the building that was looking like a clown bukkake by now.

“Here! We go!” Deidara hurled one of the balloons in his hands as hard as he could. It went flying right through the remains of the window, splashing on something inside. “Oops.” Deidara frowned, suddenly feeling anxious. “Oh no...” His hands started shaking, “Oh no, no, no...”

“Deidara. Deidara, calm down.” Itachi walked over, taking Deidara's sticky hands in his own. “Come on, breath with me. In...” He inhaled. “Out.” He exhaled. “In...”

Deidara's eyes were blown wide, moving this way and that. But he did try to follow Itachi's advice.

The first breath was like trying to expand a safe. The next was easier, like lettiing bread rise before pounding it down.

Finally... Finally, it was like a flower blooming.

“Okay.” Deidara nodded, “Okay.” When Itachi let go of his hands, he looked at the building. “I wonder where the paint hit.”

He rushed over to the schoolhouse, Itachi frowning but following him anyway so he could keep an eye out for him.

They both looked around, careful of shattered glass and the potential used needle. “Wow, that stuff really stays vibrant!” Deidara pointed to the splash of violet paint that climbed from the floor to what looked like a cabinet with a flimsy wire serving as a lock.

“Hey, what is this?” Deidara walked over and jimmied the cabinet open.

“Deidara, don't!” Itachi tried warning him, but Deidara had already opened it and was pulling out a dark glass jug.

“Hey, is this Moonshine?” Deidara asked, pulling out the cork and taking a sniff. “Whoa, that's strong!”

“Deidara, stop that before you poison yourself!” Itachi made it over but Deidara had already taken a second sniff.

“Hey...” He gave a dopey grin, “Dare you to drink some!”

Itachi looked between his friend's face and the bottle. “Deidara, that stuff would probably kill me.”

He quickly took the bottle and, gathering his courage, he took a long, long swig. It burned his throat going down and immediately set his stomach on fire.

He dropped the bottle, the glass darting everywhere when it hit the ground. “Oh God!” He bolted from the schoolhouse and, no more than three feet away, began puking his guts out.

“Hey!” Deidara pouted, “I wanted to try some!”

Itachi could barely hear what Deidara was saying. His senses weren't working. The earth was spinning. He didn't even have the strength to hold out his hands to brace himself as he collapsed into the snow, dirt, and leaves.

* * *

 

It was dark.

It was wet.

He could have sworn he heard something... someone... Growling? Screaming? Baying out words that his mind couldn't and refused to comprehend.

_Ee geb, gof'nn k'yarnak! Gotha n'ghft! K'YARNAK VULGTM!!_

“What are you saying?” Itachi asked the strange... force. Because it seemed to come from everywhere and nothing at the same time. It merely roared and screamed at him once more, the strength of the unfathomable noise sending Itachi flying through the darkness.

* * *

 

“...chi?”

“..ta...i?”

Itachi cracked open his eyes, noticing that the sun was close to setting. “Oh, _fuck me_ , how long was I out?”

“Like... four hours? I dunno...” Deidara shrugged, “But you're back! That's great!”

Itachi groaned again, still feeling woozy. “My mouth tastes like a sour brillo pad.”

“But!” Deidara offered, “You gave me an amazing idea of something we can do at the apartment! Come on!” Deidara stood and started to drag Itachi along until Itachi stumbled to his feet.

He was still woozy and unbalanced...

But had he heard something?

* * *

 

When they got to Sasori and Deidara's apartment, Deidara left Itachi on the couch and sped into the kitchen. He pulled the fridge door open and grabbed the almond milk and the cranberry juice.

He also grabbed several cups, setting everything upon the table. “Hold on a second!” He jogged over to the closet and pulled out several buckets of paint and a roll of thick paper.

“Deidara...” Itachi tried sitting up, his head spinning, “What are we doing?”

“Shh!” Deidara tossed everything into a pile and started mixing. “It's going to be great, just go with it!”

It was just as he poured some black paint into a cup of cranberry juice that the door opened.

“Hey, I'm home.” Sasori called out, “And I'm hoping that you're home because you weren't at the Snack Pack.”

He rounded the corner and saw Deidara about to offer the dingy cup to Itachi. “Guys, what the hell?”

“Sasori, is that you?” Itachi groaned, “I think I'm half-blind right now...”

Sasori walked over and took the cup away from Deidara, helping Itachi get to his feet. “Are you going to be okay getting home?”

“Y-yes.” Itachi nodded, “Worst comes to worst, I'll swing in to Buck Shot and ask Hidan to give me a ride after work.”

Sasori nodded and saw Itachi out. When the door closed, Itachi took a few steps and had to stop to brace himself against the wall.

He could hear voices.

Not like the one before, but he could hear a conversation through the door he had just left.

“Deidara, come on! Can I not leave you alone for three hours?”

“W-we were... working on a birthday present for you! Yeah, that's what it was! You're... are you mad?”

“...”

“... Help me clean this up, Deidara...”

* * *

 

“You are trying to get attention from someone who isn't ready to give it.”

The water churned and boiled around boot-heavy feet.

“Stop being childish.”

* * *

 

 


	5. The Blue Room

* * *

 

“Saw something dragging itself through the trees last night.”

Itachi found that, once he got past the dirty appearance (which, admittedly, was a lot better now. Maybe Kakashi was letting Jiraiya use the showers in the church), he enjoyed the time spent in the drifter's camp.

But, what he just said... It caused his mind to start racing. “Where?” He asked, “Did you see what it looked like?”

“Mm,” Jiraiya took a drink from the cup of coffee Itachi had brought him, “I mostly try to keep to myself.”

Itachi set another ten-dollar bill in Jiraiya's bowl.

“It was over yonder by the water tower, I reckon.” Jiraiya said.

Itachi's curiosity deflated a bit. “Probably a bunch of bored teenagers.”

“Hm...” Itachi looked back to Jiraiya, the man frowning, “Hope so. In my line of work, you never try to ignore the forces that work in the darkness.”

* * *

 

Itachi didn't stay around the church that much longer after (mostly because he didn't want to be tricked into coming into the building again). So he walked around town, half trying to think, half trying to figure how to spend the day.

He stumbled upon the local dollar store and the young woman who was currently cleaning the front windows. Itachi smiled, “Shouldn't your cousin be doing these on account of your Anemia?”

Hinata Hyuuga, the daughter of the owner of the store, turned around: her breath puffing white against the air. “Oh, hello Itachi. It's been a while, hasn't it? H-how was New York?”

Itachi shrugged, “It was... Yeah. Anyway...” He looked at the necklace she was wearing. A simple silver chain, but there were two wedding rings hanging off of it: a slim gold band with a simple diamond in the center, and a silver band engraved with some Latin and a small diamond in the middle of a pearl on it. Hinata followed his eyes.

“Oh! Yes, you're probably curious about that.”

“Most girls don't usually have two engagement rings before their first marriage.”

Hinata sighed, setting down the cleaning supplies. “One is from Naruto, he got it from his mother. The other's from Kiba, he used his first bonus from the dog pound to get it for me.”

“Two guys vying for your attention.” Itachi was a little jealous. “Nice.”

But Hinata sighed again, bringing Itachi to realize that she had been doing a lot of it. “You know,” She started, “W-when I was younger, I thought that those love triangles you see in vampire books were n-nice. Romantic. Now...” She threw the paper towels she was using into the trash. “Naruto's sweet but his main focus is becoming mayor one day. I don't think he could ever really take the responsibility of being a father or a bread-winner in the future. And then Kiba... He's kind and is always there for me... B-but my father, m-my entire family...”

Itachi nodded when it finally hit. “Would never shut up about you settling down with a dog-catcher.”

Hinata nodded, writhing her hands together to try and warm them up. “I wish I had gone to college. I would have met someone good for me out there. Someone good... for my future.”

Itachi looked down at his feet. Then the window. Then Hinata again. He opened his mouth, about to speak. “Look, you--”

The door opened, Hinata's cousin Neji popping his head out. “Hinata, come handle register 2!”

“C-coming!” Hinata called back, rushing in to follow her cousin.

Well. So much for trying to lend a caring ear. Itachi leaned against the wall of the dollar store. He could smell paint. They must have just done-up the place to attract customers again.

… Maybe Hidan was able to talk.

* * *

 

Itachi walked into Buck Shot, squeezing past two old men who were heading out to shoot Bambi's mother. He walked over to the counter, watching Hidan clean out the barrel of a handgun.

“How's the Buck Shot treating you?” He asked when Hidan set the gun down.

“Trying to kill me.” Hidan replied, wiping the cold, black steel down. “But it's fucking lazy so it's not working.”

Itachi poked at a case of bullets. The purple velvet lining in the box was actually quite impressive. “Anything you want to talk about?”

Hidan immediately tossed the cleaning supplies aside before lighting up a cigarette. “I got hamfisted into being the 'host-business' for Halloween Fest and, I swear to GOD, if I get one more old biddy asking me about 'what kind of candy I'm handing out to the little ones', I'm going to go POSTAL!”

Just then, some guy in a a hunting cap decided to walk up and gruff out, “Hey, is my Winchester 70 ready yet?”

Hidan screamed behind his teeth. He jogged over to the safe where he kept the larger firearms and brought out the requested rifle. “Here!” He grit out, “Thank you! For! Your! Patronage!”

The man left, Hidan smacking his face against the counter. “Itachi?” He said. His words were muffled with how his face was squished up against the glass. “Take that Western Euro and blow my brains out. Please.”

“How about...” Itachi lifted Hidan up by the shoulders, “We look for means of distraction away from murder.”

Hidan perked up. There was the briefest flicker of fire, of life in Hidan's eyes. The door opened, some old man shouting out, “Is my gun ready yet, Shiroi?!”

Hidan shook his head. “Itachi, I'll talk to you later, okay? I've got... too much to on my plate.”

Itachi understood.

He didn't like it, but he understood.

* * *

 

He didn't want to bother Sasori, so Itachi jogged down a bit further along the road to Snack Pack.

When he walked inside, he saw Deidara biting on his fingernails while he checked the expiration dates on the beef jerky.

“That's an awful habit.”

“Itachi!” Deidara stood up and ran over, taking Itachi by the hand. “Come on, come on! Let's go do something!!”

Well... if it would stop Deidara from shredding his fingernails into nonexistence.

* * *

 

They had to hoof it through town since neither of them had a car available. “I better not have to drink anything suspicious this time.” Itachi nudged Deidara as they walked through the slick, icy woods.

Deidara's cheeks were warming up as the area around them got colder. Sunset was started to kiss upon the edges of the sky.

“So...” Deidara slowed his pace so he could nudge Itachi, “How about that Kisame? He's cute, right?”

Itachi kicked away a stray branch. “I... guess.”

“Itachi.” Deidara said, “I'm sure he's moved on from all the picking on him we did.” He grinned, taking a left at the fork in the path. “I mean, even you said he was hot.”

“I was drunk off of my ass!” Itachi followed along.

He was looking at Deidara's back as they walked, the path growing steeper. “Booze doesn't make you do anything you didn't already want to, Itachi.”

Itachi grit his teeth. Why did... How had Deidara forced him into a corner like that? The blonde stopped and Itachi had to look around to see where they had arrived at. They were so far up. Sitka was poised at a pituresque angle. The sherbert hue of the setting sun was draped over everything from there to the horizon.

“Am I...”

Itachi almost didn't hear it. The silence around them buried everything. The only path through was minute and slim.

“A bad person?”

“Well, define 'bad' and then get back to me.” Itachi said. Immediately he regretted it, but Deidara only laughed. It was tired, but it was a laugh. “Deidara, what's going on? Are you feeling alright?”

Deidara looked out over the cliff, over all of the trees and the little dollhouses that made up their town.

Several geese flapped past. They honked for their young ones to follow.

“I'm trying.” Deidara said, “I'm trying to be a good partner for Sasori.”

“And he does his best to be there for you.” Itachi offered. But Deidara shook his head,

“I just feel like I could do more. Sasori... hasn't had the best run, you know?”

Itachi quirked an eyebrow. “How so?”

Deidara stretched out his arms. The icy wind plucked through his golden hair. “His family's awful. I'm just so... lucky that he didn't come out awful. That's why I don't want to lose him.”

“Are you two...” Itachi gently turned Deidara around. “Doing okay?”

Deidara took a deep breath and Itachi feared the worst. “Yeah, we're fine. It's just...” He waved his hand in a circle. “I'm just trailer-trash and Sasori's... You know?” He moved away from Itachi and began walking down the hill. “I have no skills. I wouldn't even have any inkling of a tomorrow without Sasori.”

Orange transcended into violet.

Deidara laughed, his smile itching back into prominence, “And, you know, he's got that ass that won't quit.”

Itachi nearly snorted with his laughter. He wrapped an arm around his friend's shoulder.

“I think Kisame's ass is nicer.”

“Says the guy who won't even talk to him.”

* * *

 

Itachi opened the door into his house and stepped inside. He was feeling... it wasn't good, but he didn't feel like dying in the quickest way possible either.

“... Sasuke, you know that having Sarada here...”

“You know if I could just get Sakura to take her I would.”

“Maybe... you could look into getting a job.”

“THAT'S BULLSHIT!”

“Sasuke!”

Itachi rushed to the kitchen where he heard the conversation escalate. “What's going on in here?” Fugaku, Mikoto, and Sasuke looked at Itachi. Sarada was smushing peas and carrots into her face.

“Itachi,” Mikoto began, “There's just a little--”

“Just a small family tiff.” Fugaku cut her off. “You just head on to bed.”

Mikoto's face grew stern. She shook her head and walked to the fridge where she took out a beer and walked out to the backyard. Sasuke stood up from the table and shoved his chair against it. He walked into the living room and grabbed the jacket he had tossed on the couch. “Sasuke, did you...” Itachi began, “Need me to watch Sarada if you're going out?”

Sasuke clicked his tongue and pushed away from Itachi when he got too close. “... Need you to go away...”

“Wait, Sasuke!”

But Sasuke had already left, slamming the door behind him. Itachi wasted no time in asking his father, “What the hell was that all about?!”

“Just... get to bed, son.” Fugaku said. He walked into the living room and turned on the TV. “I'll watch Sarada.”

* * *

 

Itachi couldn't get to sleep that easily. He actually had to make a trip to the bathroom and do a frantic search through the medicine cabinet and drawers.

Anything?

He would even settle for...

Wait, was that?

“Desperate times...” He said as he grabbed a half-empty bottle of cough-syrup from the drawer and went back to his room. His flask still had some brandy in it and Itachi was in a dire need. He opened the bottle and knocked back some of the thick cherry-flavoured sludge, immediately chasing it down with a drink of brandy.

Oh. Oh, his body was already feeling warm. He laid down when it began to seep to his hands and feet were starting, his eyes falling to a close.

* * *

 

A flock of geese flex through the red skies. The clouds were a dark grey: charcoal etchings against the angry canvas.

A raven with its glossy black wings hopped around the wetlands until it looked up and flapped its feathers. It flew past Itachi, the man suddenly catching up to his breath and consciousness.

He looked around, noting the purple spindles winding up from the black water. It stuck to his bare feet, staining his fair skin.

But he had to walk. He didn't know why, but he had to. “Hello?” Itachi called out. He felt something... something not there but all-encompassing watching him. It was in the air. It was in the dark, foul smelling water.

Everything.

As he trudged through the dark waters and strange plants, Itachi saw something moving from the corner of his eye. He didn't turn around to confront it. But he could tell that it was large, and it moved across the wetlands like a shadow with its shifting arms and legs and mass.

Itachi walked on.

* * *

 

Time didn't pass here. The clouds shifted and the wind blew hard, then soft, and then hard once more... But what was time? In a space like this, outside of notion and thought, time was a non-concept.

The wind surged up, Itachi grunting as it pulled his hair in the opposite way until he was forced to follow the urgent breeze.

He was facing... a house. One of those single-story numbers with the picket fence that would be right at home in the 1950s.

When Itachi walked toward the house, the wind stopped. The clouds still shifted.

Itachi walked right into the serendipitous homestead, the front door opening ahead of him. The first several steps and he fell into the unyielding blue.

The walls were painted.

The furniture covered.

The dishes were lacquered.

All a beautiful, bountiful blue.

“Hello?” Itachi called out, “I'm sorry to barge in like this, but I'm just a little lost!”

The door westward burst open, a familiar face coming in from the kitchen. “Deidara?” Itachi asked, “Where are we? What are you doing here?”

Deidara didn't answer. Not at first, as he was looking for... something.

".era uoy ekiL .ereh gnieB .niap fo tol a esuac uoY" Deidara said. Itachi blinked. It was only once but, by the time Itachi's eyes opened again, Deidara was on the ceiling. Walking to the covered table as if nothing was askew. He set down the plate of cookies that was in his hands before taking a seat.

“Deidara, where is everyone?” Itachi asked. His breathing was becoming laboured for some odd reason. As if there was a heavy weight growing upon them.

Deidara slowly turned to face Itachi, as much as he was able with him being on the ceiling and Itachi looking up at him from the floor. "...eulb eht nI ...ereh yatS .yrarbil on si erehT"

“What?” Itachi asked. His mind, as his words, were in a fog. Though even if he was in the right frame of mind, he knew that Deidara... wasn't making sense.

“Dei--”

The front half of the house splintered into pieces, the horrible roars of the storm outside finally breaking into the Room of Blue.

The creature. The amorphous creature with the many shifting limbs and pustules and the red eyes that judged from the plane of darkness and a space out of time.

“.eb ti tel uoy fi ylnO. Niaga uoy evol lla dluow eW.”

Itachi couldn't move. The creature slumped forward in its strange way, its dark skin beginning to bubble. “Deidara... Please, let's get out of--”

The creature lurched forward, tackling Itachi to the floor with a roar that pierced like a dying scream.

* * *

 

Itachi shot up in bed. His heart was racing and he felt sick. Worse, even, than the night of that party or after drinking that strange moonshine.

He grabbed some clothes and bolted into the bathroom, noting with gratitude that no one was there. When he was in, he tossed the clothes aside and plummeted to his knees in front of the toilet and began heaving his guts out.

Lesson to him about using brandy and cough syrup as a sleep-aid, he supposed.

'Why... didn't you help...'

Itachi jumped away from the toilet, not even able to properly wipe his mouth as he looked around for the source of the voice.

Nothing.

He slowly stepped to the toilet to flush the mess away, noting with a wince how dark it was.

Almost black.

Like oil...

There was a brief second of the porcelain trembling. The seat went flying as that dark creature forced it's head through, its infitessmal maw opening wide.

_'WHY DIDN'T YOU HELP ME?!'_

_'WHY DID YOU LET ME KILL MYSELF?'_

_'YOU SHOULD JOIN US, ITACHI! YOU LOVED OUR LITTLE GAMES MORE THAN ANYONE!'_

Those voices in the storm sounded so familiar. Too familiar. Itachi's eyes rolled up into his head and he collapsed.

* * *

 

By the time his eyes opened up once more, it was already evening. Itachi sat up, noting that he was already clean and his fresh clothes had been placed upon him.

“I guess...” He sighed, “I must have stumbled into the shower and gotten back in before passing back out. Fucking cough syrup.”

He picked up his phone and sent out two messages to Deidara and Hidan: both of them asking if they were free to go to the library that evening.

* * *

 

 


	6. So, Come With Me; Let's Die Anywhere Else

* * *

 

 

Itachi jogged down the stairs, thoughts centering upon old societies and those strange symbols from before. He had already slept through most of the day and he was desperately hoping that one of his friends was out from work so they could come with him to do some research.

“Itachi?”

Itachi held back a groan, smoothing his hands over his face. He walked into the kitchen and sat down. “Hello Mother.”

“Big night planned?” Mikoto asked, her back turned to Itachi as she scaled the halibut she had bought from the fish market on her way home.

“I'm going out to the library,” Itachi explained, “I just want to research a few things.”

“I see.” Mikoto said.

The clock above them, with its rosy tomato face, ticked and tocked.

The refrigerator hummed.

“Are you ready to talk about what happened yet?” Mikoto asked.

Itachi sighed. “Mother, please... I'll tell you, but don't feel comfortable enough yet.”

He jerked when Mikoto stabbed the knife right into the halibut's cold, dead eye. She whipped around, her face grim. “Any idea when you might 'feel comfortable' then, Itachi?” She said, her words as cold as the fish in the sink. “Because, quite frankly, I'm all ears! Really, I want to know. I am dying to hear why you've decided to up and turn your back on all of the hopes and dreams your father and I had for you. Why you decided to throw all of our hard work back in our faces.”

“Wait, _excuse_ me?” Itachi choked out an incredulous laugh. “O... kay. Since you are so ripped and raring to hear a reason, Mother, fine.” He took a deep breath, wishing that there was some kind of food on the table to keep his mouth busy.

“I just... the people in New York. They weren't who I thought they were.”

He had closed his eyes to say that but, upon opening them, he saw his mother looking at him, aghast.

“They...” She shook her head, “'Weren't who you thought they were'? Itachi, what on earth does that even mean?!”

Itachi stood to leave, “Nevermind, Mother. This is exactly why I didn't want to do this now.”

His foot barely passed the threshold when Mikoto called out, “Sit. Back. Down, Itachi.”

Itachi took another deep breath and walked back into the kitchen. He sat at the table again, Mikoto standing near him.

“Itachi.” She began, “You were supposed to be the first Uch--”

“The first Uchiha to go into Politics!” Itachi snapped, already feeling the walls beginning to crowd in upon him. “Yes, Mother, I know! I've only heard that same mantra every day for the past twenty-three years of my life!”

“Then what happened, Itachi?!” Mikoto insisted, her mood souring further just like her son's, “What is wrong with you?! This is not the boy I sent off to college all those years ago!”

Itachi couldn't help it, he laughed. It was a short chuff of a laugh, but he ended it to say, “What is this, Mother? Did Father or Sasuke do something and now you're lashing out at me with your mood-swings? Is that what this is?”

Mikoto drew back, gritting her teeth. “Oh!” She shook her head, rolled her eyes. “ _Of course_! Like _I'm_ the moody one in this house!”

“Everyone in this house is miserable, Mother!!” Itachi shouted, “You're not special!!”

Itachi's words rang out through the house, a brewing silence following.

Mikoto glared down at him, her hands clenched into fists at her sides.

“Well, don't you worry.” She whispered, “Neither _you_ , or _Sasuke_ , or your _father_ will have to be miserable because of _this house_ any longer.”

Itachi shot up from his seat. “Wait, what? WHAT?!” He reached for his mother, “What's happening to the house?!”

Mikoto smacked his hand away. “Don't even worry about it!” She smiled, her eyes still furious. “Don't! Can't have Itachi worrying about anything, nope! You just... go on and do whatever you want. Go to your little parties, hang out with your little friends, and just live without thinking about consequences! Why should you start being an actual adult now?”

That was it. That was it, that was it, _that..._ _ **was... IT!**_

“You know what?!” Itachi shouted, “I've gone through too much, because of you and Father, to be subjected to this in a place that's supposed to be my home. But, you know what? The sad thing is that if, maybe fucking _if!_ Sasuke and I had better examples to serve as parents--”

“No!” Mikoto shouted him down, “ _No!_ How _dare_ you?! You do _not_ get to come here and --”

“Oh, I'm not done!” Itachi returned the treatment, “Maybe you're just upset because it's all starting to crash down upon you! Your worthless marriage, your worthless sons... Maybe you're just upset because, when you look at me, all you see is failure... And you realize just how much of a _WORTHLESS WASTE your life has been_!”

Itachi gasped, trying to pull the words back in but it was far too late.

“Get out.” Mikoto whispered, her voice weak and breaking around her growing sobs.

Itachi shook his head, his whole body trembling. “Mother. Mother, please – I didn't –”

Mikoto shouted her order this time, tears streaming down her face: tears that contrasted with the flush of fury, embarassment. “Get out!” She picked up one of the plates on the counter and threw it at Itachi. He barely ducked out of the way before the ceramic shattered, jagged pieces flying in every direction.

“Get out! Get out! _GET OUT!!_ ”

Itachi ran out of the house, more ceramic shattering behind him. His heart was crashing hard against his chest as he ran into the night.

* * *

 

Hell had unleashed itself upon Sitka. The dark skies were groaning and boiling, flashes sparking behind dark curtains of clouds. Frigid sheets of rain were being whipped around by the vicious winds. Anyone with half a brain and a home to go to was making sure to stay in on a wretched night like this.

Itachi stumbled through the woods. He slipped over fallen branches, falling over and getting mud stains on his pants.

It didn't matter. What even did right now?

He stood to his feet and walked on. His clothes were clinging to his shivering frame, and his hair was plastered to his face. Itachi was so tired. But he couldn't stop.

Itachi forced himseelf onward. There was a crack of thunder to his far left, so he stopped. And was perfectly still.

Just the wind for now.

Why had he come back? Why did he think that it would be a good idea try and get back what had been lost? Priveleged enough for peace of mind? Not him. Not by a long shot.

The rain was stil pouring down in icy sheets when Itachi stopped at a small lake, hidden away from the common sight by all of the trees and hills around it.

Itachi felt like the weight of a mountain was pressing in on him. He could barely breath, and his mind was its own storm of his choices and all of the people he had failed up to this point. He shuddered, his breathing still shaky and weak. With the rain falling upon him, he shouted long and hard into the empty air around the lake. His body was desperately trying to get rid of some of the negative space. Anything.

He was just so tired.

Why was he still alive? What kind of cruel waste of space was he that the universe wouldn't wipe him out. Itachi heaved and panted when he was done screaming, looking out at the lake that was still being distrubed by the cascading raindrops.

Someone else bellowed out a scream from behind him, making Itachi jump up and whip his head around to see who was sneaking up.

Kisame let his shout die out, shaking his head free of excess water. “Hey.” He looked over to Itachi, “Didn't expect anyone else out here tonight.”

Itachi didn't know how to react to this. He wasn't expecting anyone to be out there. Hell, he hadn't even expected to end up here specifically.

“I'm sorry,” He said, “I'll head out.”

“You know,” Kisame said, stopping Itachi with a gentle hand before he could get too far, “It's better to scream it out before it causes you to explode.”

Itachi turned around. He looked Kisame up and down, his mouth parted a brief bit. “Is it that obvious?” He asked.

Kisame shrugged, circling Itachi once before stepping closer to the lake. “You're tense. Your breathing isn't even. And, between you and me...” He walked over and gently nudged Itachi a bit further away from the lake's edge. “I just wouldn't feel comfortable leaving you near any edges right now. Come on,” He stepped back a bit, “Let it out.”

Itachi sighed. “I really think I should just go.”

“Come on...” Kisame took Itachi's hand, Itachi flinching and looking up at the taller man. “Please? For me?”

And Itachi just... Well, what was the harm?

* * *

 

The lightning cracked in the sky once more, the rain falling down harder as two men shouted and yelled in the middle of the woods. When the shouts died out that next time around, Itachi couldn't help it: he chuckled, the sound breathless.

“See?” Kisame laughed, “Feeling better, right?”

Itachi cast a skeptic's glance at Kisame. His damp jacket and the white wife-beater underneath did his impressive, toned physique all sorts of favors. “What were you doing out here?”

Kisame removed his jacket and tried to wring out the worst of the water. “Just walk out here to clear my head sometimes.” He said, putting the jacket back on. “But you... You seem like the type to keep to your home and your family. Why the heavy journey, ah?”

Itachi looked back at the lake. He just... he was just so tired. “I can't go home.”

Kisame watched Itachi silently gaze out at the rippling lake. “You'll catch your death out here.” Itachi snorted out, shaking his head,

“Would that really be such a bad thing?”

Kisame sighed, the sound causing his whole self to heave and relax: the retiring steam engine. “Come on.” He clapped his hands together and nodded towards the left. “I have plenty of room, and you seem like you need a place to breath.”

Itachi looked at Kisame as if he had burst into flames. “I... I couldn't. I don't want to bother you, you should just leave.”

Kisame chuckled. The sound was low, warm, and patient: like a parent would give to a child. “Itachi... I really just don't want you out here by yourself. And, looking in your eyes...”

Itachi coughed. He had always been told that his eyes were dark and deep; coals waiting to be pressed into diamonds. Kisame's eyes were pools that led to something... foreign, something beyond space, something out of time. “You don't want to be alone either. Come on... Please?” He took Itachi by the hand and started leading him out of the woods. “For me?”

And Itachi was just so _tired_. He nodded, closing his eyes and letting himself be led out of the woods and into the black pick-up that had been parked on the leaf-covered, less-taken road.

* * *

 

Itachi had his cheek pressed against the window the whole drive across the O'Connell bridge to Kisame's house. Kisame took a left and drove past the docks, taking a right and pulling into a small neighborhood of refurbished, modernized long houses. When the truck stopped, Itachi's eyes lifted themselves to look at the the home Kisame had parked in front of. Wooden walls painted blue, a tile roof, a porch: all of it connected to a small lighthouse. “Alright, we're here.” Kisame removed his keys and hopped out of the truck. “You need help getting out?”

Itachi shook his head and removed his seatbelt before meeting Kisame at the steps that led up to the porch. “This is...” Itachi looked around, “All yours?”

Kisame nodded as he helped Itachi up. “Inherited it when Mama decided to go back to Nigeria.”

Itachi took silent notes of the simple, cozy home. Kisame obviously had a lot of care put into this place, even with it being his inheritance. Kisame opened the door and flicked on the lights. As soon as the space was illuminated, Itachi could feel himself sinking into the warmth of the building. There were melding scents that Itachi knew to be Kisame: salt from the sea, the spicy scent of the larger man's cooking, and... something else.

Two other things.

One that Itachi had a slight inkling of what it could be. But the other... it was strange. In his mind, it wasn't a bad smell, but he couldn't place it properly. It smelled... like darkness felt.

“You hungry?” Kisame asked, removing his boots and setting them by the door. Itachi watched him toss his keys in a bowl by the door before shaking his head.

“It's been a long night, I'm already imposing enough as it is.”

“That's not what I asked...” Kisame replied, a gentle chastisement in his voice. Itachi sighed and stated,

“No, not right now.”

Kisame shrugged. “If you want, or need anything, just let me know.” He stood up tall and smacked a hand to his chest, “I live to provide for those who call upon me.”

“Oh, _well_ then.” Itachi feigned a swoon, “Allow this poor acolyte to get on his knees for special prayers.”

“There you go!” Kisame laughed out, smacking a heavy hand to Itachi's back, “Damn, you light up a room when you loosen up. And when you let go of the weight on your shoulders.”

Itachi decided to take a seat on the couch, sinking into the middle of the too-soft cushions. “Well, sometimes its hard to let that weight touch the ground. You never know what may happen, and the fear of everything crashing into pieces is too much for some of us to take the risk.”

Kisame looked down at Itachi. He folded his arms and thought to himself before snapping his fingers. “I think I know how to make someone like you relax.” He started to walk to the hallway when he added, “And without booze!”

Itachi groaned, covering his face with his hand. Of _course_ Kisame remembered that night.

* * *

 

The setting of something heavy against the coffee table made Itachi jerk in his sleep. The scent of smoke and the sound of gently sloshing water woke him up.

“There he is!” Kisame chuckled before waving Itachi over, the slim man's eyes going wide when he saw just what Kisame had brought out. The spun glass on the table was one thing, someone could have thought it was an abstract statue, but the bag of green next to it.

“Didn't take you for a user.” Itachi said, stepping closer and sitting next to Kisame on the floor. Kisame shrugged as he packed the bowl.

“My cousin deals on the side. And sometimes I have a hard time sleeping. Or the stress from the boats starts weighing down on me.”

Kisame brought out a lighter from his pocket and was about to light up when he stopped and offered the glass to Itachi. “You can go first.”

Itachi blinked down at the bong before sealing his lips inside of the mouthpiece and waiting for Kisame to light it. He heard the the crackle of the lighter and saw the ember of a small flame out of the corner of his eye before he started inhaling: the sweet smoke filling his lungs. He held it and handed the bong back to Kisame, keeping it for a few seconds longer before slowly exhaling in a smooth stream of smoke.

Kisame inhaled, the bowl burning bright until he let go and handed the bong back. He held it for a bit before exhaling. Before Itachi took another hit, he asked, “So, how did...” He moved his hand up and down in front of Kisame, “All of _this_ happen?”

Kisame exhaled, smoke rising up into the air above them. “After graduation,” He coughed out, “I needed to clear my head. I wasn't going to go to college, I knew that from my test scores in school, so... I worked on an oil-rig for a year or two.”

Itachi, in the middle of a hit, had to stop: coughing and sputtering. “An _oil-rig_?! _You_?!”

“Easy there, ah?” Kisame reached over to pat Itachi's back until he relaxed. “Yeah. It helped to put things in perspective for me. There are...” He waited for Itachi to finish and hand him back the bong, “A lot of ins and outs in this world. People, humans... Are finicky things. We fixate on one door...” He took a long hit and held it, setting the bong on the table. Kisame exhaled, coughing a little, “And we keep clawing at it, banging our heads against it until our nails are bloody stumps and our skulls are cracked open... All without looking at the other doors, staircases, and even sidewalks that life offers us in spades.”

Itachi looked at the bong, already starting to feel it. “I used to think I had the keys to whatever door I needed. But, now of days, the keys... seem like Morse Code.”

Kisame leaned back, back until he was able to lay out on the floor. “Maybe your keys are for something else? Something you're choosing to ignore.”

* * *

 

Itachi and Kisame were laying on the floor in the latter's living room. Itachi laughed, holding his arms up above him and waving his hands around. “I can see the stars...”

Kisame chuckled, “I see them all the time. They're eyes... windows... _The beings beyond time, the colors out of space..._ all look down upon us and our small, pathetic lives.”

Itachi let his arms slowly fall back down and looked around them. Living room furniture, TV, door... Oh. There was an acoustic guitar leaning against the doorway that led to the kitchen. Tucked underneath the strings, there was a piece of lined paper: folded and very worn. “You play?”

“Hm?” Kisame blinked and looked over, “Oh, yeah. I dabble.” He stood up and swayed for a second before walking over and grabbing the guitar. He walked back and sat down, strumming over the strings for a bit: realizing that the paper was making it sound off. “Actually... I was going to ask if you recognize this.”

Itachi rolled over onto his side and looked up when Kisame unfolded the paper and held it out for him to read. It took a bit, but Itachi was able to read out the scribblings of an angry, reclusive teenager. “Ho. Ly. Shit.” He sat up, “This is 'Die Anywhere Else'. You _found_ 'Die Anywhere Else'?!”

Kisame nodded, “I'll admit, the way you and the others used to be... well... a bunch of douchebags, it made me track you down to try and find anyway to get back at you. I didn't expect to see you barricade yourself in the girl's bathroom and write this out before tossing it away.”

“You know...” Itachi took the paper and skimmed over it, “I don't even remember why I was so pissed. Maybe it had something to do with my parents? Hidan, perhaps? Whatever, it's stupid.” He started to crumble the paper up, Kisame shouting,

“Whoa, whoa! Hey!” He snatched the paper back, “What are you doing? This is your writing, why do you want to destroy it?!”

Itachi glared up at Kisame before spitting out, “Because it's the stupid, angsty bullshit of a teenager who thinks the worst thing in his life would be living in a town without any drama, any controversy, and having a stable, simple job for the rest of his life!!”

The house went silent. It stayed that way, the rain lightening up outside. Itachi's phone went off, message notifications. He growled and took his phone out of his pocket: turning it off and tossing it behind him onto the couch.

“You know...” Kisame began, slowly as to not make Itachi angry again, “I happen to like that 'stupid, angsty bullshit'. In fact, ever since I saw you at the bonfire, I've been wanting to ask you how it goes...” He tapped against the side of the guitar, “So I could maybe hear it set to music. Just once.”

Itachi... felt bad. Especially for snapping at Kisame like that. Especially after everything he had done tonight. Itachi groaned, rolling over onto his stomach and pressing his face into the floor. “I'm such a piece of shit..!”

“Come on...” Kisame nudged Itachi with one of his feet. “Please? For me?”

When Itachi didn't answer at first, Kisame sighed and started strumming the guitar at random. He kept it up, but heard something. Soft, faint... He stopped playing and listened.

“ _Dum. Do-dum-do. Do-dum-dum...”_

Kisame tilted his head, trying to get a good listen as to what Itachi was doing.

Wait.

“Oh shit!” Kisame whispered, trying to remember what Itachi had just hummed out before repeating it on the guitar. He played his best rendition of the notes twice before Itachi sat up. He exhaled and inhaled before gently singing,

[“ _Dust on this tired old street..._](https://soundcloud.com/zatsufox/aurora-rosedie-anywhere-else-cover)

[ _Mark corners where we used to play..._ ](https://soundcloud.com/zatsufox/aurora-rosedie-anywhere-else-cover)

[ _Dust trace our tired old feet..._ ](https://soundcloud.com/zatsufox/aurora-rosedie-anywhere-else-cover)

[ _In circles as we pace our time away...”_ ](https://soundcloud.com/zatsufox/aurora-rosedie-anywhere-else-cover)

He stood up and started spinning around, waving his arms around himself,

“ _I just want to diiiie anywhere else~!_

_If only I could diiiie anywhere else~!_

_So come with me, let’s diiiiie anywhere else~!_

_An-y-where~! Just not here~! O-oh!”_

* * *

 

Kisame led Itachi to what used to be his mother's bedroom but what was now used for clothing storage so he could find something dry for Itachi to change into. All the while still messing around with the guitar.

“ _Stuck on this dead-end street..._

_Where all the new kids come to play..._

_Stuck where past and future meet..._

_Watching all our autumns drift away...”_

Kisame set the guitar down long enough to pull out a t-shirt that swamped Itachi's frame when he helped the slim man pull it on. But Itachi gratefully took the warmer piece and gladfully shucked off his chilly wet pants and shoes.

“ _I just want to diiiie anywhere else~!_

_If only I could diiiie anywhere else~!_

_So come with me, let’s diiiiie anywhere else~!_

_An-y-where~! Just not here~! O-oh!”_

 

“ _And if they ever hear my name,”_ Itachi sang out while they were both in the kitchen: him sitting down on the table and peddling his legs back and forth like a bored toddler while Kisame juggled strumming at the guitar with making spicy burger mac n' cheese. Dressed in nothing but a fresh, dry pair of boxers. _“Will they know that I walked alone? Around these dusty streets–My tired old home~!”_

* * *

 

They really didn't trust themselves with the notion of plates then and there, so they opted to wait for the cheesy, meaty combination to cool down and grabbed two spoons to eat it right out of the pot.

“ _And will they ever stop to think?_

_What was here before, no~!_

_They won’t remember that I’m go-o-ne~!”_

* * *

 

The empty pot lay abandoned on the floor as both Kisame and Itachi stood and jumped on the couch, both of them singing at each other. Itachi's hair had fallen out of its ponytail with all of the jumping they were doing.

“ _I just want to diiiie anywhere else~!_

_If only I could diiiie anywhere else~!_

_So come with me, let’s diiiiie anywhere else~!”_

Itachi's foot got caught in the too-soft cushions, causing him to get mixed up and nearly fall over. Kisame jumped into action: setting the guitar down quickly and reaching out for Itachi and pulling him back up. He pulled a bit too strongly, Itachi smacking up against him with a grunt.

Itachi took a breath, pleasantly surprised at how hard Kisame's chest was. He looked up at Kisame and noted the other man looking down at him, a goofy grin showing off those awful teeth. Which, really, weren't that bad. Just too sharp. He remembered reading about a condition or something. It was all too hazy now.

“ _Anywhere...”_ Kisame whispered.

“ _Just not here...”_ Itachi breathed out before moving forward, digging his fingers into the hair at the back of his neck and urging him forward so he could ease their lips together.

Oh.

Oh wow.

Hidan was right.

It does feel different from person to person. Not just lips or tongue, but the bloom that grew in one's chest from the flutters and thickening of breath as you bore yourself for another person.

Kisame wrapped his arms around Itachi's shoulders and brought him closer, deepening the kiss by a fraction before pulling back for air and diving back in once more.

* * *

 

“Is the couch really the – ah! … Best place for this?”

“I mean... We could _try_ to make it to the bedroom. But you may not be in the mood anymore.”

* * *

 

Itachi kissed Kisame without hesitation after that. Both men were on the couch, Kisame holding himself over Itachi as if he had cornered his prey for the evening. Itachi ran his fingers down Kisame's sides, over scars and burns and the muscles underneath that beautiful skin. He trailed his hands down behind him and grabbed at Kisame's ass, swallowing the low groans Kisame made with slick lips and tongue.

* * *

 

“You know what?”

“Hm?”

“Give me your shirt. We can move this to the floor. More room.”

* * *

 

Itachi removes the large t-shirt and lays it out beneath them before laying down and peeling off his briefs. Without any delay, their tongues were soon echoing the motions of their hips: grinding against each other, slowly. Teasingly.

“I'm ruining your boxers.” Itachi breathlessly chuckled, looking down at how his erection was already leaking precum all over the tent in the blue fabric.

“They're already a lost cause,” Kisame gruffed out, licking Itachi's cheek. “Fuck, you're beautiful.”

Itachi shook his head. “I'm too pale and I have no ass, I really can't see what you're seeing.” Kisame shook his head. He moved up so he could kiss Itachi on the forehead. “You need to think beyond what the voices say. Come on, please?” He leaned back and slid his boxers down and off, Itachi felt all second-guessing go the way of the 'American Dream'. “For me?” Kisame kept his eyes in line with Itachi's as he lowered one of his calloused hands to wrap around his long, thick cock and give a slow stroke.

* * *

 

“You're uncut.”

“Yeah. Dad made a fuss when my mom wanted the doctors to--”

“Shh.”

* * *

 

Itachi was quiet, his face burning as he stroked Kisame's shaft: exposing the head with a particularly leisurely stroke. Before Kisame could say anything, Itachi was already leaning down: suckling the tip into his mouth.

“Shit!” Kisame hissed at the sensation, muttering something else under his breath that Itachi couldn't quite catch. Itachi tucked some of his hair behind his ear and sunk down deeper, playing with the foreskin with the tip of his tongue before swallowing down and trying to relax his throat.

It had been a while. But the bitten-off curses and grunts from the man above him were doing _wonders_ for his confidence, even with his lips starting to feel the stretch of keeping Kisame in his mouth.

* * *

 

“What do you want?”

“... I want to be selfish. I want to be taken care of. I want to _not_ have to _think_.”

* * *

 

Kisame hadn't planned on anything like this tonight. But having lube in his bathroom along with Itachi being exceptionally convincing was having a good affect on his open-mindedness. When he came back, he was treated with the sight of Itachi having flipped over onto his hands and knees: one of the cushions from the couch helping to keep his hips up.

“Are you...” Itachi turned back as much as he was able, his eyes desperate for _something_. “Having second thoughts?”

“Just...” Kisame had to take a moment to breathe. He closed his eyes and tapped his foot. “Fuck, is this really happening?”

“If you get over here, then yes.” Itachi replied, wiggling his ass in Kisame's direction.

* * *

 

“If you need me to stop--”

“I need you to start.”

“... I can see why you let yourself get so hammered that night.”

* * *

 

Itachi gently moaned as he felt weathered lips kissing down from his neck to the base of his spine. Slick fingers ran up and down the crack of his ass before one of the thick digits slowly eased its way inside of his hole. “Shit...” Itachi grit out.

“You want me t--”

“No.” Itachi shook his head, “It's been a while. Just... keep going, but slowly.” Itachi panted, gritting his teeth together as Kisame pressed his finger in all the way to the second knuckle before pulling it out and repeating the process.

His body trembled. His hips even jerked a bit in nervousness despite himself. But Itachi focused on relaxing, knowing that with just what Kisame was packing, he'd need all of the prep he could get. Still, when Kisame added a second finger, he bit into the back of his hand.

“Don't do that.” Kisame grunted out, “If I'm hurting you, let me know.”

“..not hurting...” Itachi stubbornly replied, trying to tamp down the stinging sensation he felt as his rim was trying to get used to the two thick invaders.

He felt Kisame pour more lube onto his fingers before he eased them back in once more, the stretch bearable but still a lot to get used too as Kisame tried to stretch him out so he could add a third finger.

“Can you do one more?” Kisame asked, kissing Itachi's back ocne more. Itachi nodded. He immediately regretted it when Kisame slowly tried to add the third finger: the brief snap of pain causing him to soften a bit... But, just like that... It was gone. Itachi groaned out, rubbing his dick against the cushion beneath him as Kisame pumped the three fingers into his ass until he deemed the tight ring ready enough.

Itachi was mentally congratulating himself on making it that far, briefly acknowledging that Kisame had said something, when he felt the hot, slick head of Kisame's cock press up against him. This wasn't so bad so fa – Itachi bit back a shout when Kisame pressed the head in, an intense burning pain accompanying the first penetration.

“You okay?”

“Just keep going!”

* * *

 

“... God, how are you so big?”

“Genetics? Maybe? Fuck, you're tight...”

“With all of the prep you did? No, you're just too bi – _Fuck!_ ”

“...”

“...”

“Did I hit it?”

“With how big your dick is, it would be impossible for you not to. K-keep going.”

* * *

 

Itachi almost wished he had been on his back. He would have loved to see Kisame becoming completely undone, to see the facial changes that went along with the grunts and the sharp breaths. But he focused, instead, on the deep, deep thrusts in and how Kisame felt against his insides as he pulled out, just to snap back in.

And whenever Kisame slid past his prostate, he felt his erection seep out more precum against the cushion beneath him. Kisame draped himself over Itachi, still rocking his hips, and kissed his shoulder before nipping at it.

Maybe they should have tried to make it to a bed.

But it was too late now, Itachi was getting so close to cumming already. He reached down beneath himself and stroked his dick. He would deny the whimpers he made when Kisame started going harder until his dying breath.

Were the stars still watching? The eyes and the windows?

Itachi's back arched up into Kisame, his body tense and covered in sweat as he came: his breath leaving him for a second as his cum spattered onto the cushion beneath them.

Okay. Fuck the Coke, this is what he really missed from New York.

He was dealing with the aftershocks of his release, Kisame still fucking into him and rubbing against his sensitive hole and prostate. “C-come inside me.” He whispered back.

“You sure?” Kisame panted out. Itachi nodded, reaching back to rub at any part of Kisame he could reach until, with a shout, Itachi felt him throb, a rush of hot wetness spilling into him.

* * *

 

“...”

“... I'm clean, just to let you know.”

“I wasn't worried about that. Though, thank you, I am too.”

“You ready for me to pull out yet”

“... No, give me a moment.”

* * *

 

Kisame slowly pulled out, Itachi hissing at the slight sting. That was going to hurt tomorrow. Deidara and Hidan would never let him hear the end of it. He felt some of Kisame's cum seep out of his hole, silently hoping that Kisame would go get something to clean them up with.

“Hey.”

He looked up to see that while he had been wandering through his thoughts, Kisame had come back with a wash cloth and a bowl of warm water. “Come on, roll over so I can clean you up.”

“If I recall,” Kisame said, wiping up the cum that kept leaking out of Itachi, “You said that you wanted to be taken care of, ah? So... breakfast tomorrow?”

That sounded even better than sex to Itachi's exhausted mind at that moment.

* * *

 

The rain had finally died down, the air around Sitka clean, cool, and quiet.

“Itachi.” Kisame asked, both of them laying on the floor with only the shirt briefly covering them. He would have to get up for a blanket soon.

“Mm.”

Kisame waited a moment. “If... someone offered you an out... A door that would fit your keys... Would you take it?”

Itachi was quiet. In a small whisper, he replied, “In a heartbeat.”

Kisame waited until he could hear Itachi's breath evening out before he stood up. “Okay.” He said, walking down the hall for the blankets.

* * *

 

The waters in the dark cavern churned further, boiled hotter.

“Sometimes I wonder if you can even understand me. Did I not say 'be patient'? Have I not been destroying those Totem Poles as you have wanted?”

A choked hiss, a screech, a scream.

“You will have it. Now, be quiet.”

* * *

 

 


	7. The Stains Never Leave

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updated the tags for this chapter.

* * *

 

 

Itachi woke up the next morning in a bed that was _not_ his own.

First of all, the blankets were actually comfortable and they didn't smell like dust. He sat up, a sharp pain in his ass reminding him of what had happened last night.

“Well, in the grand line-up of one-night stands, this has to be the nicest.” Itachi yawned, getting up from bed and finding the bathroom with a limp in his step.

The warm water was a God-send, easing his sore muscles and washing away the remaining chill from the previous night.

He stepped out, noting the simple contrast between wood paneling and tile that made up the bathroom's design.

He stepped out of the bathroom, drying himself off with the first towel that he saw and found that his now-dry clothes were waiting for him on the bed. Kisame must have heard the shower running and decided to get his clothes from the dryer.

“You would make a good boyfriend.” Itachi whispered into the air as he pulled up his underwear, “Now if only I hadn't been such a prick in high school.”

* * *

 

A plate of pancakes and bacon was set in front of him as soon as he sat down. Itachi blinked at the plate, looking up at Kisame's back while the other man tossed some more bacon onto the pan. “I promised you breakfast, didn't I?”

“Yes, but I didn't think you'd actually do it.” Itachi said, looking around for some syrup.

“Syrup's in the fridge,” Kisame said, “Coffee's in the maker, and your phone...” Kisame pointed the spatula in the direction of the counter, Itachi's phone resting upon it. Itachi stood up to get it, Kisame shaking his head. “But, before that... I'd really like you to eat something. Come on, please? For me?”

And Itachi sat back down, digging in.

Kisame set down a plate for himself before picking up the coffee pot and bringing over two mugs. “Cream? Sugar?”

“Both.” Itachi pushed his mug over, Kisame pouring in a copious amount of cream and sugar before starting to eat. Kisame shoveled some fluffy pancake and syrup into his mouth (had... Itachi gone to get it? He must have) and drizzled some syrup onto Itachi's plate.

“Didn't you like New York?” Kisame asked.

Itachi took a bite. “New York is fine. If you like assholes.”

“I happened to like _your_ asshole last night.” Kisame grinned, Itachi kicking the man underneath the table. “No, seriously... There are assholes everywhere, ah? What made you leave?”

Itachi grabbed his mug, staring down into the cream blooming and outstretching to the rim of the vessel. He was just so tired. Even after last night, he was tired of holding onto the weight of what he was trying to avoid.

To bury.

Like a body on the outskirts of a ci--

Kisame set his phone down in front of him on the table, breaking his concentration. “You should turn it back on.”

Itachi was just thankful that Kisame had changed the focus of the conversation. He turned his phone back on, blinking at the amount of missed calls and messages that he had. Before he could open up his voicemail, his phone rang out: Sasuke's picture showing up on the screen.

“Hello?” Itachi answered.

“WHERE THE _HELL_ HAVE YOU BEEN?!” Sasuke roared into the phone, “You fucking piece of shit, you have been nothing but a problem since you came back!! Why did you even come home?!”

“Sasuke, what the hell is your problem?!” Itachi stood up from the table. Kisame watched him as he paced the kitchen floor. “I had my phone turned off for one night and you explode like this?”

Sasuke shouted into the phone, “You don't even know what's going on, do you?! Of course, why should Itachi have to think about anyone but himself?! You are literally the worst thing to happen to this family, aniki. And now, thanks to _you_ , Mom's probably going to die in here!!”

The world froze.

Itachi felt his grip on everything and anything disappear, fracture, fade.

“Wh-what?” He whispered, his lips trembling, “Sasuke... Sasuke, what are you talking about? Don't toy around li--” He shut up, Sasuke's voice snapping in his ear.

The phone fell to the floor. Itachi's knees soon followed.

“Itachi.” Kisame walked over, Itachi covering his mouth with one hand as tears started cascading down his face. “Itachi, tell me what you need.”

“... pital...”

Kisame nodded and got his keys.

* * *

 

Kisame sped into the parking lot of the local hospital, Itachi bolting out of the truck before Kisame could even get the vehicle in proper park. Itachi ran towards the hospital doors, tripping over his own feet twice before he entered the building.

He looked around, seeing nurses, potential patients, and others. But no sight of his family. “Please!” He rushed over to the reception desk, “My name is Itachi Uchiha, I was told that my mother was brought in here! What floor is she on?!”

“Please calm down,” The on-duty nurse said, checking her paperwork. “Okay, you're going to head up to the third floor and take a left till you get to Room 43.”

Itachi gave a quiet 'thank you' and rushed to the elevator. He pressed it several times in quick succession, running in as soon as it opened.

“Please...” He whispered as the doors closed behind him, “Please, please, _PLEASE_! God..!” The elevator door opened after far too long for Itachi's liking. He rushed out and started running down the hall until he saw Sasuke pacing in front of the room he was looking for, Sarada sitting on a nearby chair.

Sasuke looked over and saw Itachi approaching. His face immediately darkened and he charged over. Itachi didn't even have a chance before Sasuke pulled his fist back and socked Itachi across the jaw. Itachi coughed out, hitting the wall before Sasuke rushed after him. “You son of a _bitch_!” Sasuke barked out, punching Itachi in the face again. “What did we ever do to you?! Why did you have to come back?! _WHY?!_ ”

Itachi finally stood up and started defending himself. He punched Sasuke back but didn't say anything to stop Sasuke's anger.

“We were doing _fine_ without you!” Sasuke seethed out, “You just _had_ to come home and ruin our fucking lives!!”

Both brothers were about to come to blows again. Sasuke felt his hand stopped and something holding onto his leg. He looked back to see Fugaku holding back his arm and Sarada clutching onto his leg. “No..!” She cried out.

Itachi, his face stinging and throbbing, looked back to see Kisame holding his arm back. “Is this really the place for that?”

“Sasuke!” Itachi looked over to see Fugaku roaring down at his youngest son, “What the hell are you trying to accomplish with this?!”

“It's _his_ fucking fault!” Sasuke shoved his father away, “Mom tried to kill herself because _he's_ ruining our lives and the two of you don't want to hurt his _feelings_ by telling him that he needs to go!”

Fugaku had had it.

“ _The reason your mother tried to harm herself is that we gave you two little ingrates the world and you squandered it, Sasuke!!!”_

Sasuke's eyes widened, his breathing growing faint. Itachi wasn't in a better boat.

Fugaku jumped when Kisame rested a hand upon his shoulder. “That's enough. Your wife doesn't need to hear you three carrying on like this out here.”

Fugaku couldn't disagree with that. He scrubbed his hands down his face. “I... I have to get to the refinery. A-and Sasuke has to get to school.”

“What?! _No!_ ” Sasuke shouted, shaking his head once he realized who that would leave to be with his mother, “Fuck classes, I'm staying --”

“Sasuke!” Fugaku yelled. “Enough. _Please_.”

“Come on.” Sasuke turned to see Kisame behind him, nodding down the hall. “I'll give you a ride.” Sasuke was still gritting his teeth but he went along with Kisame. He glared at Itachi something fierce as they passed. When they were gone, Fugaku stepped back into the room. Itachi was able to see a tired man, worn down from the world, sit down next to his wife's bed before the door closed.

The door couldn't stop everything, though. Sobs could soon be heard.

* * *

 

Itachi stayed out in the hall, Sarada poking at his swelling cheek. “Sweeheart, no...” Itachi gently chastised her, “That hurts...”

It had been an hour before Fugaku finally stepped out of the room. “Itachi, _please_ , I am _begging_ you.” Fugaku took a shuddering breath, “I'm going to leave you and Sarada here until I get off from work. Just stay with your mother until then. But don't upset her any further. Please?”

Itachi nodded. But... “H-how did – ”

“A fistful of sleeping pills and half a bottle of bourbon.” Fugaku grit out. “If Sasuke hadn't needed to use the car, we...” He shook his head, standing up as tall as a broken man could. “I'll be back later tonight.”

“Yes Father.” Itachi nodded, looking to the floor as Fugaku departed.

Sarada looked up at Itachi, tugging on his pants leg. “Gramma?”

Itachi inhaled.

Exhaled.

“Okay.”

He stepped forward and eased the door open quietly. Before Sarada could go running, he hefted the toddler up onto the chair closest to the window. Then... He had to turn around.

Oh.

Oh _God_.

Mikoto looked so sickly pale. She was laying in bed, her greying hair fanning over the pillow and her breathing being assisted by a respirator. Itachi moved the chair his father had been using and sat down, looking upon all of the needles and tubes that were stuck into her arms.

“I'm _so_ sorry.” Itachi whispered, not even caring that Mikoto couldn't hear him. “I am so... God, I'm still such a waste. Be it in New York or back here, I have no reason to exist. I'm such a fucking failure.”

 _'You are...'_ The voices began once more.

_'You should have just ended it all...'_

_'Spared your mother the details of your fall from grace...'_

And, really, to Itachi the voices weren't saying anything that wasn't a good suggestion. Why hadn't he just blown his brains out? Why...

“Itachi..?”

Itachi opened his eyes, seeing Mikoto's eyes slowly open up. “Itachi, baby?”

“Mother!!” Itachi flipped the chair over in his haste, leaning into the bed and moving into Mikoto's arms, crying, “Mother! Please, I'm _so_ sorry! Please forgive me, I'm so, so sorry!!”

* * *

They sat there for a while: Mikoto propped up in bed and Itachi resting his head against her lap or her stomach. Mikoto would occasionally pat his head but, otherwise, it was silent.

Too silent for what Itachi had done.  

Itachi looked down at his mother's hands. His parents had such strong, hard-working hands.

"Mother," He muttered, watching Sarada climb onto the bed. "Can... Can I tell you something?" 

Mikoto smoothed Itachi's hair down. "Whatever you want, sweetheart." 

Itachi winced as he readjusted himself so he could breathe comfortably. This... this was going to be hard. The voices were screaming at him before he said the first word.

“As soon as I graduated, there was a recruiting agent who came to the university.” Itachi started, “They handed me a business card, telling me that there was a man who was doing very important things in politics but needed a bright young mind to aid him through it.

I took the subway down to his offices the next day and I actually...” He took a shaky breath, “I actually got to meet him! Face to face, in fact. It was a... a short interview, right there on the spot! He hired me on, told me to leave the apartment I was renting so I could move into a condo building he was renting for me and two other aids that he had hired on.”

Sarada crawled about on the bed next to them, babbling to herself.

“The work was fine at first,” Itachi continued, “We mostly followed Orochimaru around: setting up meetings, organizing photo-ops, keeping his paperwork and conversation notes organized. It was hard at times but I thought: 'This was it. This is how I'm going to make my mark, how I'm going to break into the field. … Mother...” His hands clenched into fists, “Mother, please don't hate me...”

“Itachi, sweetheart...” Mikoto shook her head as much as she was able, rubbing Itachi's cheek with her “No matter what you do, I could never hate you. I may get angry, but I can't wrap my mind around hating you.”

Itachi's face was still solemn, even as he tried to smile through his next words. “Orochimaru's campaign for governor was made of promises and declarations of action. Not much different than other politicians, right? Well... Orochimaru had _ways_ of making things _happen_. And we, as his aids... God, I was so _stupid_ to not see why he _really_ needed us!! Anyone with money could go to any community college and pick up a public-speaking major for less-than minimum wage! But... We were even more desperate. Desperate for power. Desperate for fame. Desperate... to make our families proud.”

Itachi took another deep breath. He swallowed it down like a barb-wire pill. “He took us to a _lot_ of clubs. He had secret meetings with everyone from emissaries to sanitation representatives there. And the best way for Orochimaru to get on the better sides of all of these different influential people... was to let them...” He choked, hands trembling as his throat refused to flex and relax around the words. “T-to let them... H... Ha...” He shook his head, his words thick in his throat.

* * *

 

_Itachi bit into the pillow near his face, screaming into it as the chief of sanitation fucked into him: raw, no prep or patience._

“ _Good politicians know when their tears matter, Itachi.” Orochimaru muttered, his eyes watching one of his aids being bent over and savagely fucked without any hesitation. He looked to the left where his other two aids, Kabuto and Kimimaro, were working some_ other _'polls'._

_Itachi looked up at Orochimaru, his eyes red from the tears that were welling up despite his best intentions._

“ _Oh, don't look at me like that...” Orochimaru huffed, allowing small, chubby hands to delicately line up several lines of cocaine. “This is politics in but a nutshell...” As soon as the cocaine was set, the child bowed and walked away: Orochimaru leering after them until they were gone._

* * *

 

“And, that wasn't even the high-point!” Itachi coughed out, his hand gripping onto Mikoto's arm: his mind desperate for some sort of anchor as he sank back into visions he had long since locked away. “It wasn't me drugging myself stupid just to numb myself from everything I had to do, or even the searching of clubs that had areas for perverted old men who liked little boys! But it was _all there_ , Mother!”

He rolled his head back, looking up at the ceiling.

Those eyes...

He shook his head.

Those voices, desperately crying out for help...

His body began trembling once more as he sobbed, remembering a dark night when a gun was fired... and a body was buried.

“Oh, Itachi...” Mikoto pulled her son close to her chest, rocking him as much as she could. “Shh... Shh... It's okay now. It's all okay..!”

“I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry!” Itachi sobbed into his mother's hospital gown, “I'm _so_ sorry..!”

* * *

 

“Blood on the hands... The darkness can creep in further now...”

The caverns shook, a large mass thrashing against the smooth stone of the space.

“All good things...”

* * *

 

 


	8. Pay What You Owe

* * *

 

The house was far too quiet.

Itachi wanted to visit his mother, but he knew it would be best for both of them to air out a bit after what Itachi had told her. He had just given Sarada a bath, the toddler running around the kitchen table that Itachi was currently seated at. What to do? He shouldn't keep the poor child cooped up in the house all day just because he himself was practically a breathing corpse.

Itachi stood up and walked to the fridge. He checked it, noting that there was some roasted chicken and lettuce, as well as a few other odds and ends.

He could at least go grocery shopping.

“Come on, Sarada.” Itachi walked to the living room and tucked Sarada into her cozy jacket and shoes. He looked up at his reflection in one of the family photos. The bruises were fading. “You're brother's an ass.” His reflection told him.

Good.

* * *

 

“Welcome to Trader Joe's!” The woman working near the entrance of the store offered that evening when Itachi and Sarada made it in. She was about to go on about the specialty items of the day when she noticed, “Itachi! Hey, Itachi!”

“Ms. Shizune.” Itachi hefted up Sarada so she wouldn't wander and walked over to the woman, “So, here's where they have you?”

Shizune nodded. “Just temporary. But, whoo...” She wiped at her brow, “Am I glad for that. Seriously, retail drains the life out of you.”

Itachi nodded in understanding. “The bakery section smells good today.” He commented, Shizune shrugging,

“Yeah, but they can never hope to compare to the Bonsai Bakery. Too bad it shut down.”

“ _What?_ ” Itachi groaned. Damn it, that was two of his favorite places in town gone now!

“Yeah,” Shizune sighed, “After Sarutobi had that 'incident'...” She looked around before holding her hands out: one flat, one in a fist. She slowly brought the fist down into her palm, making a splat noise when her fist connected, “His daughter decided that it would just be best to sell the place and move on.”

Shizune handed Itachi a cart so Sarada could have a seat and Itachi's back wouldn't have to bear any strain. There was an elderly couple who were confused on the different types of rices, so Shizune had to rush off.

Just as well. Itachi needed to figure out just _what_ he was going to buy for the house.

* * *

 

He had just picked up some potatoes and was heading for some tomatoes when he could have sworn he saw Hidan. He pushed the cart around the bend and, in fact, there the man was: picking up some meat and other things. “Hidan!”

Hidan looked up when he heard his name, hoping to God that someone didn't need firing advice. When he saw Itachi walking over, he heaved a sigh of relief. “Hey, what's up? Whoa!” He recoiled, “You look like shit. God _damn_.”

“Thanks for that.” Itachi frowned, “It's been a rough couple of days, alright?”

Hidan clicked the back of his tongue. “Look, sorry about that. What are you doing out here, anyway?”

Itachi didn't need a translator to tell him that what Hidan meant was 'why aren't you in the hospital with your mother?' “The doctors told us that the best thing for my mother would be bedrest and quiet.”

“She recovering okay?” Hidan asked, looking at two different cans of mushroom soup.

Itachi sighed, “Yeah. The doctors say she's stable enough to come home in a few days. I'm just out here picking up some groceries since there's barely anything in the house.” He tossed some crackers into his cart.

Hidan hummed a bit. Then he snapped his fingers, “Buy your shit, we'll drop it off at your house, and then you're coming with me for dinner tonight.”

“Are...” Itachi looked down at Sarada, “Are you sure?”

Hidan smacked Itachi on the back, “It's fine! You'll get to meet Kakuzu, finally.”

Itachi was about to ask who Kakuzu was. But, he remembered:

“ _How long?” Itachi asked, Hidan answering,_

“ _Almost a year, year and a half now. He runs one of the cargo boats, so he's only in for a few days of the month.”_

“Are you sure this won't be painfully awkward?” Itachi asked, Hidan rolling his eyes,

“I can obviously shove you two out the door before trying to get hot and heavy with my husband, Itachi.”

Itachi frowned, covering Sarada's ears. Hidan scoffed, “Sure, yeah. Sasuke's her father but _that's_ the worst thing you think she's ever heard, Itachi...”

* * *

 

Itachi jotted down a quick note after putting the groceries he had bought away. He stuck it to the fridge and jogged back out to the Jeep where Hidan was waiting with Sarada. “You all ready to go?”

Itachi nodded as he got in, Hidan pulling out of the driveway and driving down the road.

When the silence grew around them, Hidan turned the radio on but kept the volume low in case Itachi had anything to say.

“Have you heard from Deidara lately?” Itachi asked, eventually.

“He's _finally_ starting to put some effort into his job, _that's_ what he's doing...” Hidan gruffed back.

“Wait. Wait a minute,” Itachi looked over at his friend, “Where the hell is that coming from?”

Hidan reached for a cigarette from the pack on the dashboard. He lit it up and exhaled before speaking again, his focus on the road, “I don't know how the hell he and Sasori make ends meet. He's always ditching his shifts early, forgetting to clock-off his hours – he's still acting like we're in fucking high school!!”

Itachi frowned, “Hidan, you know he has ADHD--”

“And _fucking_ Anxiety, I know!” Hidan took a drag, exhaling, “That's no fucking excuse, Itachi.”

* * *

 

Hidan drove along the docks, parking in the closest parking spot he could find. Itachi was holding tight to Sarada's hand as Hidan led the way down the docks, not wanting her to try and make a break for the water.

Hidan didn't stop until they reached a large green and white houseboat. He walked up the ramp and knocked on the front door, silently gesturing for Itachi to follow him.

The door opened up, a large bear of a man stepping forward with two glasses of something that _clearly_ wasn't water. “Sight for sore eyes.” The man with the scar on his cheek and the deep green eyes said, leaning in for a kiss... Just to be stopped by Hidan.

“I brought company.” Hidan said, picking up the bags of groceries and taking them inside of the boat. “Come on in, Itachi.”

Itachi sheepishly walked up to the larger man (God, even his hair screamed 'I kill bears and burn their fat to keep warm in the winter'). “Sorry for dropping in unannounced.”

Kakuzu groaned, his shoulders slumping. “No, it is fine. Come in.”

* * *

 

Sarada was crawling underneath the table, Itachi hoping that she didn't find anything to get cut on. He had been exiled from the small kitchen area of the boat: Hidan preparing the sauce and pasta for beef stroganoff, Kakuzu finishing off the actual meat.

“Far from New York.” Kakuzu called back.

Itachi took a deep breath. Could this guy _not_?

“Didn't work out.”

“I see.” Kakuzu said. And he left it at that. Besides, the food was soon done anyway. Kakuzu helped Itachi prepare the fourth chair for Sarada (ie: pile a bunch of old phone-books onto it so she could reach the table).

“Here's to Sitka.” Kakuzu announced as he poured fresh bottles of vodka for the adults, “For reeking of fish, sadness, and always having work to keep people from their homes.”

“Here-fucking-here.” Hidan knocked back the vodka in one go, sharply breathing in through his nose to alleviate some of the burn.

They ate and exchanged small stories. As he fed Sarada and wiped her face whenever she got too messy, Itachi found that Kakuzu was much friendlier than his appearance let on. English was his second language, but he was well-read: having the time to digest books in droves during long cargo trips.

“Hey, you got any ice cream?” Hidan asked as he pulled the humble chocolate cake he had baked for desert out of the oven.

“Check the fridge.” Kakuzu called back. Hidan tucked a hand on his hip, looking at his husband with an unimpressed expression. “Oh, hold on.” Kakuzu chuckled, standing up and walking to the small fridge to check.

Itachi let Sarada climb up on top of his lap, the toddler still looking around the boat with wide, curious eyes.

“As soon as this cools down,” Hidan said, setting the cake on the counter, “We'll cut a few slices and--”

His phone blared to life out of the blue. Hidan reached into his pocket and hissed, “Shit..!” When he saw the caller-ID.

“Is it someone at Buck Shot?” Itachi asked. Hidan shook his head, answering the phone.

“Hello? … Yeah, it's me, what is – What do you mean 'what am I doing'?! I'm at home, having dinner with--” Hidan stopped, glaring at the floor as he paced. “Wait, _what_?! You're asking for this _now_?! What the hell is wrong with you?! … You know God-damned well that I bust my ass seven days a week to keep that place above water! I am fucking entitled to spending the evenings with my husband the little time he's in town!!”

Itachi's appetite was pretty much gone as he watched Hidan argue with whoever was on the phone. He looked over to Kakuzu, the older man rapping his fingers against the table and waiting for Hidan to sit back down.

“FUCK YOU!” Hidan shouted into the phone, “No, I mean it! Fuck you, lady!!” He hung up just as the other person was kicking up a storm. Hidan took a step back towards the table... But couldn't do it. He stormed away, slamming the bedroom door behind himself.

“Hidan!” Kakuzu called after his husband, following him into the room and closing the door.

“What is she bitching about now?”

“Now, out of _fucking_ nowhere, she's decided that she wants me to pay her back for the money she loaned my Mom to keep the Buck Shot running! Kakuzu, what the hell am I going to do?!”

* * *

 

Hidan asked Kakuzu to drive Itachi and Sarada home, not up for driving right then. They drove in silence, Itachi's hair whipping in the wind.

“You can ask, you know.” Kakuzu said. And Itachi really did want to find out.

“Is Hidan having trouble with the Buck Shot?” Itachi asked. Kakuzu sighed,

“When Hidan's mother died... Hidan did his best to take care of that place. He even ended the lease on their apartment so he could sleep in the store at night. Just for the sake of being able to keep money in line.”

He took a left.

“He made it work for a while. Of course, after we got married and I found out he had been sleeping in the store, I wasn't too happy... But, the world goes to shit when we least expect it. His aunt came through town last year and started screeching about getting money that Hidan's mother owed her. She keeps constant tabs on him to make sure that he can pay her every month.”

“But he's her nephew!” Itachi was horrified. What kind of family member treated another like that? Especially in such a tragic part of their life?

“It doesn't matter.” Kakuzu said, watching the road, “If anything... I think that causes her spite towards him to grow.”

Itachi eased back against his seat. Why had Hidan been forced to go through so much? He had so many dreams and ambitions, and for him to have to put everything on hold? Just for a business he had no passion for? For a family member who only saw him as an ATM?

Kakuzu stopped the Jeep in front of Itachi's house. As Itachi was getting Sarada out of the back, Kakuzu turned and said, “Itachi. Come out for a ride with me on the boat next week.”

“Um...” Itachi hefted Sarada onto his hip, “Okay? Any particular reason?”

Kakuzu started the Jeep. “You are someone with a lot of baggage and layers. And I have been told that I am a good listener.” The tires bit into the cold asphalt as Kakuzu drove off.

* * *

 

 

 


	9. Monsters and Masks

 

* * *

 

Itachi was back in the hospital.

He didn't feel right leaving his mother alone for too long. This had been his fault, after all. Mikoto was eating some gummy fish that one of the nurses had distributed among the patients for the spirit of the day.

“Itachi,” Mikoto smiled, “Aren't you going to go enjoy today? Maybe put together a costume? It's Halloween, after all.”

That was right. Itachi had completely forgotten about tonight. God, and with Hidan having to deal with the compound stress of being a host-business for that evening's festivities as well as what was going on with his aunt, he felt terrible.

But he couldn't leave his mother.

“I'll be fine.” Mikoto said, almost reading Itachi's thoughts. Itachi looked up as she spoke again, “If the nurse gives me the go-ahead, I'm going to call your father and he'll drive me out to enjoy the Halloween festival too. Itachi, go on. I'm fine. More importantly, though...” She took her son's hand, “Have you thought about what I said? About looking into the hospital's therapy sessions?”

Itachi _had_ , but he didn't feel comfortable letting anyone else in on what was echoing around in his thoughts and memories. “I think I'll wait a bit longer.” Itachi said, standing up. “Well then, I guess I'm going to head home to work on a costume.”

Mikoto waved him off, “Make sure to take plenty of pictures!”

* * *

 

As soon as he got back to his room, Itachi kicked over a heavy box that was full of old fabrics and costumes. “What can I salvage here..?” Itachi hummed, picking through the materials. As he picked up the black cloak, a pair of old plastic fangs and a fake rose pin fell out. “Okay.” He smiled, especially as he found a dusty velvet top hat, “Vampire it is.”

* * *

 

Itachi walked downstairs, dressed in a black suit with a red dress-shirt under it. He readjusted the top hat he was wearing, trying to get used to the heavy mouthwash of the fake-fangs (he hadn't worn them in _God knows_ how long, he was at least going to _try_ to be careful). Itachi pinned the cloak to his shoulders and looked around the house.

Empty.

His father probably went to go pick his mother up from the hospital and Sasuke... Who even knew what Sasuke did with his free time now of days? Hate his older brother's guts seemed to be a large brunt of it.

“Why am I such a shitty big brother?” Itachi hissed at himself.

* * *

 

Itachi walked down the road the setting sun jumping off the windows of the storefronts in town. There wasn't a single corner that didn't have some sort of pumpkin, plastic skeleton, or black paper bat. He stepped aside as a group of children, all dressed in colorful costumes.

He remembered the first year that his parents allowed him to take Sasuke trick-or-treating by himself. Sasuke had been so happy: dressed up as a ninja, dawdling after his big brother.

He hoped... there was enough of that happy little boy in there to make sure that Sarada had a good Halloween experience.

By the time he had arrived at Buck Shot, he saw growing crowds of people beginning to gather in town around the businesses: grills and food booths were being set up along with games and tables. Itachi stepped into Buck Shot and saw his friends in a frenzy of preparations and set-ups.

“Oh, _thank God_!” Hidan placed a hand over his racing heart when he looked up and saw Itachi.As Itachi got closer, Hidan immediately put him to work. “I need you to wrap one of these pumpkin wrappers around all of the lights and shit. After that, make sure that I have enough candy bunches to hand out to whatever kids get dragged to this thing.”

Itachi could have said something, but it wasn't too much work and Hidan was dealing with a lot that night already. He appreciated Hidan's grim reaper robes for a second before getting to work.

“Hey!” Kisame waved to Itachi as he walked over. The larger man was dressed up as a pirate and, judging from the size of the bag he was hefting along, he had quite the bountiful booty to share with everyone. “I have sandwiches, wine coolers, chocolate bars for the kids, and...” He pulled out a wrapped caramel apple, “A treat for the handsomest vampire in my line of sight.”

Itachi had to work twice as hard to ignore the 'ooh~'s that bloomed up around him as he took the apple. “Well, thank you.” He looked around and decided that the silk rose he had brought out to be a part of his costume would do well enough. “I suppose that a real rose wouldn't live too long out here in this cold.”

Kisame's eyebrows rose up as he took the rose. He smiled that sharp smile, “So, can I take this to mean that we're a thing?”

Itachi chuckled, “You can take it to mean that I do want to keep seeing you, yes.”

Deidara the chicken shrieked, running over and grabbing both Itachi and Kisame. “This is great! We're all hooking up so we can hang out! Oh my GOD, band-practice is going to be so awesome from now on!”

“Deidara,” Sasori called over, the redhead dressed as Pinocchio, “Can you _please_ finish setting up the instruments?”

* * *

 

A group of kids rushed over to Buck Shot, holding out empty pillowcases. “Trick or Treat!” They all cheered, Hidan snapping out,

“Isn't it too early, you brats?” But the sun had gone down all the way, a light chill hanging in the air. Itachi walked over with a bowl of candy bunches and handed one of them to each child. When the kids left, Kakuzu the scarecrow spoke,

“Konohamaru's holding up well.”

Sasori nodded, “His mother decided to bring him back up for the festivities to try and get his mind off of his grandpa...” He left the rest unsaid, not trying to bring down the mood.

More kids, and even some teenagers, walked over to get some candy or to ask questions about Buck Shot. The latter of the groups made Hidan want to claw his eyes out with his plastic scythe.

“So...” Itachi asked in between chews (after removing his false fangs because they were _not_ worth the headache), “When is this thing supposed to start anyway?” They were all sitting around the outside of Buck Shot: bales of hay helping to provide seating and more of that Autumn aesthetic.

Hidan groaned, smacking his head against the nearest phone pole. “I don't even know. There's no music substitute so the town is expecting _someone_ to play and the people who were supposed to set up the stage decided to pull no-shows.” He lit up a cigarette and took a drag, “God, Chamber of Commerce owes me _three_ different types of head for this.”

“Did you guys need me to help out on the keyboard?” Itachi asked. But Sasori shook his head,

“I'm playing the accordion tonight. Hidan's doing violin, Deidara's on drums, and we have Kisame singing and Kakuzu on sax.”

“Chamber of Commerce decision.” Kakuzu offered, “Few months ago.” Itachi couldn't argue against that. No one even knew he was coming home a few months ago.

Kisame jogged back from his check of the meager set-up Buck Shot had undergone. “We're all set to go. Showtime should be in, what? Ten minutes after a sound-check?”

“That gives me enough time to figure out where my family is.” Itachi stood to his feet. “Good luck, you guys. I'll be cheering you on from the crowds.”

“Can I have a kiss for luck?” Kisame asked, tugging on Itachi's arm to keep him from leaving. Itachi shook his head but he didn't fight as Kisame pulled him closer, pressing their lips together with a low hum.

Itachi closed his eyes, allowing himself to sink into the sensation of those warm, weathered lips upon his own. He could get used to this.

He _wanted_ to get used to this.

But something was stopping him.

“Okay, lovebirds.” Sasori eased the two apart, “Keep it PG.” Itachi smirked up at Kisame.

“He has a point, you know.”

“Yeah, yeah...” Kisame huffed, “Go on, find your parents.” When Itachi turned around to start walking away, he yelped when a large hand squeezed at his ass.

“Honestly?!” He shouted, his face burning crimson.

Kisame only grinned, “Call it payback.”

* * *

 

Itachi walked through swarms of excited kids and conversing adults. If he was his father... where would he bring his mother so that she could experience the festivities but not be overwhelmed? He looked around for... There they were.

It was an older Sitka Spruce tree that had been planted in the center of the park as a means of good tidings for the town during the settler days. Fugaku was standing guard behind Mikoto and the wheelchair she had been confined to. Sasuke was there as well and, much to Itachi's joy, he was dressed up as a robber in black and white stripes with Sarada wearing a homemade cop uniform.

“There he is.” Fugaku stated as Itachi got closer, “We were worried you were going to be too busy to make it.”

“I would never.” Itachi said, walking over to hug his mother. Afterwards, he turned to Sasuke.

“What?” Sasuke asked, not enjoying the way Itachi was smiling at him. “And what are you even supposed to be, anyway? You couldn't have made a better --”

Itachi gently poked his little brother in the forehead, successfully shutting him up.

Mikoto giggled at the nostalgic sight before she said, “So, Kisame's taken a bit of a liking to you.”

Itachi pressed his face into his hands, “Mother, we're just friends.”

Sasuke looked Itachi up and down before covering Sarada's ears, “So, you've only fucked him... _once_? Twice?”

“Sasuke...” Fugaku warned his youngest son, Mikoto speaking as she readjusted the blanket over her lap.

“Well, I'm happy for both of you. Kisame has been pretty lonely since his mother left. And _you_... You deserve someone to make you happy, sweetheart.”

“Mother..!” Itachi groaned again, “You're making it sound like I'm going to marry the man!”

Though... that sounded kind of nice. Coming home to either make dinner or have dinner made. To talk about the day. To have someone to hold you through the nightmares...

“Ladies and gentlemen of Sitka!” The mayor of the town announced to one and all, “I welcome you all and thank you all for joining us in this year's bout of Halloween Festivities and Merry-Making. Because, here in Sitka, we're all family! From the fishermen and boatmen who keep our city running, to the whales in the sea, we all work together and keep this town shining bright!”

The mayor waxed poetic for a bit before clearing his throat, “Now, let's give it up for our musical accompaniment for the evening!”

Everyone whooped and clapped as Hidan and the others took their positions in the area that was their quote-unquote stage for the evening. Kisame was, of course, in front due to him serving as the vocalist for the evening. They seemed to be ready, everyone waiting for things to start.

Deidara counted off to himself. One... two...

He crashed the cymbals with his sticks, the group starting to play. Itachi didn't know what to think of the song as it grew into more of a complete piece. It was oddly somber, though he supposed it had notes of eeriness that would be appreciated on a night like this. It was still odd, however, and it only got odder when it got to a certain point and Kisame finally began to sing,

[“ _There is..._](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tmZsxrbEHXM)

[ _A storm near.._ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tmZsxrbEHXM)

[ _The horizon..._ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tmZsxrbEHXM)

[ _Has gone away...”_ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tmZsxrbEHXM)

“Well, you never know where you find the tortured artist,” Itachi nudged Sasuke in the shoulder, “Right?”

“Aniki, shut up...” Sasuke whispered harshly, Itachi blinking as he looked around at the other festival participants.

“ _I watch..._

_From the distance..._

_The windows in the sky above..._

_I hear the cries in the ni-ight~!_

 

_The blessings..._

_Of the ocean..._

_Can no longer get through..._

_With this hindrance_

_In common view...”_

 

Everyone was so... entranced. It was like Kisame was a preacher in the south and the whole town was giving him their undivided attention. It was almost... unsettling.

Itachi looked through the crowds, feeling lost: wandering through a sea of unseeing eyes. There _was_ music playing, but the entire town was far too quiet. He passed by where Pastor Kakashi and Officer Umino were standing near one of the streetlights, enjoying the performance and seemingly too into it to pay Itachi's presence any mind.

He kept walking.

As he moved, Itachi saw Konohamaru. He didn't know why the boy stood out as he watched the concert and ate some of the candy he had gotten that evening.

Itachi heard it before he saw it. Several ever-shifting arms and legs crawling through the ignorant crowds. It hissed and growled, moving its head: smelling beyond scent, hearing behind sound.

And Itachi.

Couldn't.

Move.

He had been certain that that thing had been some fever-dream, how was it _here_ in waking breath?! Itachi attempted to scream out, but all that came out was a dry croak. The creature, crawling along the ground like a shadow, slipped between man, woman, child... Then it stopped.

“ _It stalks..._

_Through the night..._

_It's eyes the stars..._

_In the sky...”_

Behind Konohamaru. The boy didn't even turn around. Not even a shiver as the creature stretched open its maw impossibly wide, darkness forming into long, sword-like fangs that were drenched in slick saliva.

Itachi's heart was pounding in his rib-cage. His eyes were shocked open, his muscles locked up. 'Run!' He screamed in his mind, 'RUN!!'

“ _Your loved ones are waiting home for you..._

_With doors open wide, just like their arms..!_

_Your past and your sins will be forgiven..._

_Just come join us in the Sea of Blue~!”_

The creature moved forward... and snapped its jaws around Konohamaru. It bolted away down the road soon after. When the creature left, Itachi felt his breath returning to him. “Wait!” He turned around, looking for anyone's attention, “Didn't _any_ of you see that?! That monster just took a child!!”

He got no response from the crowd of hundreds. Itachi grit his teeth before he ran after the creature, past the streetlight where Officer Iruka was standing.

Alone.

* * *

 

The music's presence faded far behind Itachi as he ran down the streets, panting as he was determined not to let the creature leave his sight. The same creature who was just as agile and just as formless even with a child's body in its mouth.

Itachi ran faster, his feet pounding the pavement and then the sand. The creature had gone to the shoreline, fidgeting at the water's edge: as if it was unsure of how to proceed.

“Let go of him!” Itachi shouted, giving one final charge after the creature. The creature leapt into the rolling waves. “NO!!” Itachi roared, rushing into the water and treading through the growing waves. How... Where had it gone?! Something that big didn't just disappear!! Itachi sputtered out as he tripped to his knees, his hat falling into the salty brine. He didn't stop his search: moving his arms through the water, “Where did you go?! Come back here, damn it!! No!!”

There was a flash of light behind him before he could hear Iruka's voice saying, “Itachi, get out of the water.”

Itachi whipped his head around to see Iruka stepping out of his cop car with his favorite flashlight. “Iruka!” He shouted, “There's some kind of... of monster! And it took a child away from the Festival before jumping into the water! We have to go after it!”

Iruka frowned down at Itachi. “Get in the car.” He pointed backwards, “I'll drive you home.”

“Iruka, are you even _listening_ to me?!” Itachi shouted stood up, his clothing and hair soaking him to the bone. “Something just _kidnapped_ Konohamaru! We need to _go_! We need to catch it before it kills him!!”

“Itachi,” Iruka folded his arms, “I am ordering you to get in the car. You've had too much and you've been wandering around for so long that everyone else from the Festival has gone home! Your parents and Kisame have been driving all over town looking for you!”

Itachi... wait... _What?!_ He had only been gone thirty minutes at most. He stayed where he was, wading further into the water. “Damn it, Itachi!” Iruka charged after him, seizing him and dragging him back towards the car.

“Iruka, let go of me!!” Itachi shouted at the officer, “Let _go_! We have to save him!”

Iruka didn't even humor Itachi with a response that time. Instead, he pinned the younger man against the car and brought out a pair of handcuffs. When Itachi's hands were pinned behind him, Iruka shoved him into the backseat of the car and slammed the door shut.

He walked around to the driver's side but, before he got in and subjected himself to more of Itachi's crazed yelling, he looked out over the ocean.

A storm was coming in.

He got inside.

* * *

 

By the time Iruka had dropped Itachi off at home, it was late: the lights in his house were all off or dimmed. Even his father had opted to go to bed as soon as they had gotten home.

Itachi quickly walked upstairs and decided to turn on his laptop since his phone needed to dry out. He pulled up his messaging program and saw that everyone was online, with the addition of a picture of Kisame and one of Kakuzu.

As soon as Itachi logged in, a message from Hidan popped up: 'WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO YOU?! YOU COULD HAVE AT LEAST SAID THAT YOU DIDN'T WANT TO HELP WITH CLEAN UP, YOU ASS!!!'

'Hidan, come on, that's not important' A message from Kisame popped up soon after, 'Seriously, though, where did you go? Your parents and I were worried SICK!!'

Itachi read a few more questions and the like before he typed out: 'I was at the concert, which you guys did a good job at, but then... there was _something_ in the crowd.'

'What kind of something?' Sasori asked.

'It's... weird to explain. It was some kind of creature, but it was completely black and extremely large.'

'A... bear, maybe?' Kakuzu offered. But Itachi shook his head and typed:

'No, it was _not_ a bear! But, whatever it was, it _took_ Konohamaru and ran into the ocean! I was trying to chase it down and--

'HUH? Konohamaru???' Deidara's message read out before Hidan's message popped up:

'Itachi, Konohamaru's mom moved them out of town right after Mr. Sarutobi jumped from that building. No one's seen them since.'

Itachi looked at his laptop screen, his blood running cold. No.

No, that – that wasn't possible!

He had seen that boy at the Halloween Festival, he had seen that creature steal him away and jump into the ocean! Itachi _knew_ what he had seen!!

'Itachi?' Kisame's message popped up, “You okay? Maybe you should lay down, your brain's prbly playing tricks on you?'

Itachi glared at his laptop. He hurled it across the bed, cradling himself in his bed. “I _know_ what I saw.” He whispered to himself, “I'm not crazy. I _know what I saw_!!”

His reflection watched him with a smirk. “Oh, of _course_ you're not crazy! Here you are, in bed, mumbling about strange creatures and strange symbols... Maybe Kisame can sense crazy a mile away and is just trying to keep you distracted with _romance_ so that your parents can send you off to a Psych Ward!”

“ _Shut up!”_ Itachi shot up. He stormed over to his mirror, yelling, “You be _quiet_!”

His reflection only laughed, even as Itachi seized the borders of it, “Why do you think Mother was insisting on you going to therapy? You'd be doing everyone a favor! Think about it: you wouldn't have to work, be responsible, deal with this podunk hellhole... Aw,” He cooed, “You would have all the pretty pills and people caring for you that you could ever hope for..!”

“Shut! Up!” Itachi shouted again, shaking the mirror as he yelled at it. “I don't need you patronizing me!”

The door to his room opened, Itachi turning to see Sasuke looking at him like he was seeing a lunatic in a cage. Itachi realized what he must have looked like, his hair frizzing every which way from the salt water and his eyes wide and frantic. “Sa--”

“Okay!” Sasuke clapped his hands, stepping back, “I was going to check up on you since we lost track of each other during the Festival...” Another step back, “But you're obviously... dealing with some things, and that's... that's okay. So... I'll just be going back to bed.”

Sasuke rushed out of the room as soon as he had come, leaving Itachi alone with his tumultuous thoughts.

“I'm not...” He shook his head before digging his fingers into his scalp. “I'm not... crazy, I'm not...”

* * *

 

“Bring him here.”

The cavern was illuminated by several torches. The flames flickered and waved with the salty breeze. The waves ebbed and flowed against the rocks of the cavern. A bag of candy fell to the slick floor as a small body was placed upon a great stone slab.

The shriek howled. Screamed. Bayed out.

“I'm not giving this one to you because you want it.” A large dagger engraved with the symbols from the fractured Totem Pole was lifted up into the air before it surged down: piercing the child's chest, sanguine nectar welling up before beginning to spill down his sides. “I'm giving him to you because _he_ is still being stubborn.”

Some infinitesimal thing: slick, long, and smelling of the ocean's depths reached for the child's bleeding body and began to drag it towards the boiling waters.

“You have become such a chore.”

* * *

 

 


	10. Mirrors

* * *

 

Itachi stayed in his room the following two days. His mother tried calling out for him, his father was worried, and Sasuke had tried texting him several times before Itachi shut his phone off and turned off the messenger program on his laptop.

Right then, though... He had finally decided to start doing research on his own: no distractions. Itachi knocked back some brandy from his flask and scrolled down the page that had the closest information to what he was looking for.

The symbols from the destroyed Totem Pole were all here. And when he clicked on the links for the rough translations some people had tried to attempt throughout history, they sounded just like the words he had heard in his mind.

But this was strange. There were stories, there were historical nuances, artifacts that were, to this day, being tested for authenticty. But, in the center of everything, Itachi kept being brought back to one set of details: “'Mother Hydra, maternal queen of all who live in and thrive off of the oceans, reigns over the seas with her dreadful consort Father Dagon in the kingdom of R'lyeh. The Deep Ones, acolytes to these two great beings, know that though the great consorts keep them safe and their tables full, that greater, older beings look on beyond the realms of consciousness. Even the great half-humanoid, half-man, half-octopoid Cthulhu is only a link in the mighty chain'.”

Itachi scrolled down the page that had scans of rough charcoal etchings that struggled to depict these nightmarish creatures until he froze.

There it was. The creature that had been haunting his dreams, the one that had kidnapped Konohmaru.

“'[Shoggoth](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/8/80/Shoggoth_by_Nottsuo.jpg/800px-Shoggoth_by_Nottsuo.jpg)',” Itachi read out, a tremble to his voice, “'Crafted from the shadows of consciousness to serve a higher power able to control them'.”

Itachi immediately downloaded the pictures to his phone and took pictures of the articles. To hell with Iruka, with whatever everyone else was thinking and saying. He knew what he saw and he was getting to the bottom of it.

* * *

 

After a shower, Itachi walked out of the empty house (apparently everyone had gone back to business as usual) and decided to make a beeline to Bountiful Harvest Church. Iruka was being an asshole but Kakashi was there last night. He _had_ to have seen something.

He circled the building when he got there, aready able to hear a conversation between Kakashi and Jiraiya.

“... my dreams getting weirder.” Kakashi said as Itachi approached, “That I was standing in the middle of a field of corn and everything was on fire.”

“You have a fairly negative outlook on life.” Itachi said, Kakashi turning around immediately.

“Hey Itachi.” Jiraiya waved over, biting into the sandwich that Kakashi had made for him. Itachi sat down on an fallen tree and asked,

“You two were talking about dreams?”

Jiraiya nodded. “I had a dream a few nights back. Dreamt I was a toad in a pond, with my slug wife and a bunch of kid toads and slugs. But then there was darkness. And when the darkness receded, my wife and kids were gone.”

“Jesus, that's depressing.” Itachi commented, Jiraiya merely shrugging and going back to his sandwich. When it was quiet, Itachi turned back to Kakashi, “Did you see anything unusual on the night of Halloween Festival?”

Kakashi hummed, thinking on it. “I saw... you wandering around town after a bit too much sugar and booze.”

Great. Fucking amazing. Kakashi thought Itachi was a drunken wreck too! Though... He huffed into his palm and smelled his breath. Damn it, he could still smell brandy after brushing his teeth. “Well, thanks for nothing.” He stood to his feet and took out a twenty dollar-bill from his pocket. He slid it into Jiraiya's bowl and started walking off. He would just search the shoreline on his own at this point. Jiraiya looked up from his sandwich. “The caverns on the eastern side get really pretty around this time of year.”

Itachi stopped in his tracks. His back was still turned towards the two pastors, so he didn't see the glare that Kakashi sent in Jiraiya's direction.

“Hm...” Itachi kept walking. “I may just have to look into that. Since it's been so long since I've been home, I've forgotten some of the beautiful sights we have up here.”

* * *

 

Itachi took a longer, more secluded route to the beach. He didn't want to get stopped by any of his friends or anyone else who acted like they knew what Itachi had and hadn't seen.

Unfortunately, when he got to the beach, who else would be there but Officer Iruka taping the area off. “Itachi? Really?” Iruka snapped, “I am really losing my patience with you, honestly.”

Itachi was feeling very much the same. With Iruka, with his family, his friends, all of Sitka.

And with himself.

“A boy... was kidnapped. Last night.” Itachi said, calm and collected. “An old man starts speaking in tongues before jumping to his death. A Totem Pole is knocked over and desecrated with a language that no human being should be able to speak, let alone write. Iruka,” Itachi stepped closer, “You can't expect me to ignore these things.” He scanned over the beach for a second. He could _just_ see the cliffside that hosted the very caverns that Jiraiya had mentioned. He just had to keep the spot in mind...

Iruka brought out his gun from the holster on his hip. “You take one step closer,” He said, taking aim, “And I will not hesitate.”

Itachi was already backing away before he knew it. He just couldn't bear being on the wrong end of a firearm. When he saw the look of genuine fear in Itachi's eyes, Iruka lowered his weapon.

"Itachi, I'm going to be frank with you," Iruka said, "I've been up all night driving around all corners of this town because of old ladies and over-concerned housewives being scared of their own shadows. You'll forgive me if I don't have much faith in your drunken delusions of monsters."

"'Drunken delus'--?!" Itachi sputtered out. But he cut himself off, shaking his head, "Oh, go to _hell_ Iruka."

* * *

 

Fugaku Uchiha walked upstairs and didn't stop his trek until he stopped in front of his eldest son's door. “Itachi!” He knocked, “Itachi, your mother and brother are worried about you! Come down for dinner!”

Inside his room, Itachi looked at his walls. He shouted back, “I'm not hungry! I'll eat later!” When he heard his father's retreating footsteps, he stepped forward to the papers and articles and pictures he had printed out at the Internet Cafe on his way home that evening (making sure that Sasori was on lunch before he stepped in). All of them pinned to the walls with sticky notes between them full of observations and patterns he had found.

“Sitka...” He narrowed his gaze at the picture of the Shoggoth, “You are hiding something and you denying that fact isn't going to stop me from finding out --”

* * *

 

Itachi shot up from his bed the following morning. “Wait!” He stood up, looking around his room. “No! What happened to my notes?!”

The walls were bare. Not a strip of paper, nor a sliver of ink anywhere to be found. Itachi stepped back once, twice. “No...” Someone... someone came into his room and stole everything!

But why?! What did they have to gain and _how_ had they done that?! His door had been locked, his windows _locked_!!

Itachi bolted out of his room and knocked on Sasuke's door. “Sasuke, _please_ open the door! I need to ask you something!” When silence was his only response, Itachi slammed his fists against the door. “Sasuke, open the damn door!!”

“Itachi, is that you?” Mikoto called from downstairs. Itachi jogged down the stairs and saw Mikoto preparing a small picnic. “There you are, sweetheart.”

Itachi stepped closer, “Mother, did anyone go in my room last night? While I was sleeping?”

Mikoto looked confused. “Itachi, you've been holed up in your room all night. We've been worried, but your father insisted that we shouldn't break in. So... no.”

Itachi swooned on his feet. He managed to grab the counter and steady himself before Mikoto noticed. “I was thinking that today was looking to have some good weather, so...” Mikoto closed the wicker basket she had been filling up, “Maybe we could go for a picnic in the National Park? Like we used to when you were younger.”

“That sounds great, Mother...” Itachi began, shaking his head, “But I --”

* * *

 

The weather was pleasantly warmer that day. There was still a slight nip, but it wasn't calling for thick layers. Itachi gasped, falling into the current setting. What was _happening_?! This was the second time that had happened! Just like when he was in his room. Something... hadn't wanted him to say 'no' to his mother? Wanted him out of the house?

“Itachi,” Mikoto waved back from further up the trail, “Don't fall behind!” Itachi followed his mother as she walked towards a clearing in the dense woods of the Park. “Ah, isn't it beautiful?” She pulled a blanket out of the basket, “Help me roll this out.”

Itachi grabbed the checkered blanket and spread it out over the moss-covered floor. A beetle was working hard at tugging a leaf off of a fallen branch. He sat down when his mother did and watched her bring out the food she had made: crab cakes, a thermos full of tomato soup, and some coconut cake for dessert.

Itachi had to force his brain to stop running hot and tried to enjoy the food. “Itachi,” Mikoto said, worry staining her voice, “Are you okay? You've been so reclusive these past few days.”

Itachi looked up from the crab cake he had been eating and simply regarded his mother. She meant the best, she really did. But he couldn't talk to her.

He knew that she thought he was losing his mind.

“Just thinking about looking for work.” He lied.

* * *

 

He helped his mother clean up the house a bit when they got home. Afterwards, Itachi was out and about once more. He had to get to that cliffside. Just to verify that there could, in fact, be caverns inside. Once he did that, he could have _some_ sort of leverage upon getting a group out there to search for Konohamaru.

Maybe then he could get some answers. But how could he get out there? Did Kisame have a boat? “Damn it, I should have asked him!” Itachi chastised himself. Who to ask? Who to--

_Kakuzu turned and said, “Itachi. Come out for a ride with me on the boat next week.”_

“ _Um...” Itachi hefted Sarada onto his hip, “Okay? Any particular reason?”_

_Kakuzu started the Jeep. “You are someone with a lot of baggage and layers. And I have been told that I am a good listener.”_

Kakuzu! Of course!

* * *

 

When he got to the docks, Itachi could see Kakuzu working on a smaller boat next to his houseboat. The older man checked a few gauges near the helm of the boat. He picked up a rag that had been soaking in varnish and smoothed it over the wooden wheel.

“Hey!” Itachi called over. Kakuzu turned around and waved Itachi over.

“So, are you taking me up on my offer?” Kakuzu asked. Itachi nodded and as soon as Kakuzu gestured that it was okay, he stepped inside.

“You're lucky,” Kakuzu called out, turning the helm and letting the boat carve through the topaz waves beneath the boat's bow, “I was _just_ thinking of going for a ride.”

“Well, it's a good thing I caught you.” Itachi looked out over the ocean. He kept a careful eye out for the cliffs. Perhaps if they could just get close enough, he could make an excuse to walk inside.

The boat's engine slowly died down, Itachi sighing. Why had he thought that this would be as easy as that?

The boat was bobbing over the sparkling sea, orange clipping into dark blue and back again. “So, Itachi.” Kakuzu began, “Hidan has been telling me that you aren't answering his calls.”

Itachi walked over to the side of the boat 's side. “I'm just... looking into something right now. I can't afford any distractions, but everything will be back to normal when I get some answers.”

Kakuzu sat down across from Itachi.

“Tell me about New York.”

Itachi stood up. He walked from one end of the boat on shaky legs, to the other. He took several deep breaths of ocean air.

Several gulls were squawking out in the air above them.

“Has Hidan ever told you,” Itachi began, “That we dated in high school?”

“He briefly mentioned it, yes.”

The clouds were stretched out so thin. Almost nothing.

“The month that I found out about my acceptance to Fordham University,” Itachi laid out on his back so he could watch those almost nonexistent clouds. “I was so excited. My parents were so excited. Sasuke was so happy for me. But then, as I was looking at the class catalogue, something inside me just... _broke_. I was born in Sitka, everything I knew, had ever known, was here. And yet I was being shipped off to some place I had never been before to be talked at by people I had never even met. And I had watched the evening news with my father all senior year. It was full of all sorts of attacks and bombings and wars... Sitka was calm, quiet. Beautiful for what little happened here.”

Itachi felt his body sink under just how _tired_ he was; the exhaustion.

“I couldn't tell my parents that I wanted to stay home. They were all so proud of me, and had put aside so much just for me to go to college. But I just _couldn't_. The week before I left, I walked to Hidan's and asked if I could just sit with him for a while: just to see if I could convince myself that I was being irrational. But then... And, to this day I don't know why I did this, but I asked him: 'Do you still want to be a Marine?'”

“He _still_ wants to enlist even now, Itachi.” Kakuzu commented but urged Itachi to go on.

“He said yes and, at that point, I had no choice. Let me ask you, Kakuzu... Hidan still thinks I broke up with him because I didn't want a long-distance relationship?” He got no response, “No. I broke up with him because I knew that I would become a part of the machine that would send him off to die. I couldn't bear that thought, it even ate me alive inside as I ran back home after he blew up at me. And when I finally _did_ go to New York, because I had no choice, I couldn't make any friends or acquaintances. Everyone was a stranger, everyone _stayed_ a stranger. I felt like a shadow: going to my classes and then locking myself up in my dorm. I would steal alcohol from the communal fridge and drink myself into blacking out or I would gorge myself on food and rush to the bathroom to vomit all back up. I was doing so many things just to feel _something_ other than the loneliness and the _fear_ I was sunken into _all_ the _time_.”

The whales came back to Alaska during this time of year. Itachi wondered if Sasuke had ever taken Sarada to see them.

“But you graduated.” Kakuzu said, “With honors, if I hear correctly.”

Itachi stood up. “And look where that got me. I'm a broken failure of a man with an expensive piece of paper that's stained with tears, blood, and cum.” He walked over to the side of the boat.

“I did so many things in New York, Kakuzu. Things beyond the field of nightmares for some people that I looked for any means to distance myself from it. I would down entire handfuls of prescription pain-killers, _inhale_ cocaine, I even tried heroin once or twice.” Itachi looked down at his smirking reflection in the water. “It got to the point where I couldn't even bear to face myself in the mirror day by day. I couldn't... come to terms with what I had become. So... I didn't.”

Itachi turned away from the water and looked over at Kakuzu, “I would pretend that whenever I had to look into a mirror and see the miserable wretch that reflected back at me, that I was talking to another person. I would carry on conversations with this... this entity and, soon enough, I started believing it: treating it like it was another daily occurrence.”

“Itachi.” Kakuzu walked over. He kept his steps slow and gentle so as to not rock the boat. “Itachi, you need to go look into seeing a docto--”

“I'm _not_ crazy!” Itachi snapped back, “And I don't need to be babied from what I went through in New York! I am growing beyond that, I will be fine! What is _not_ fine,” He turned around and pointed towards the cliffside in the distance, “Is that there is a deadly creature who has a poor boy in its grasp in _those_ caverns and _no one_ wants to believe me!”

“Alright,” Kakuzu walked back to the helm of the boat and started to turn it towards the town, “You've had far too much exposure today, Itachi. Time to get you back home.”

* * *

"Tired... So tired... He is _so stubborn_. And you..." The cavern's waters were churning once more, a hiss or a roar causing the space to shake. "You are cutting things far too close. I'm beginning to wonder if tending to your chaotic fleets of fancy is even worth -- Oh, shut up!"

* * *

 

Itachi only slept two hours that night. He could hear them outside: the Shoggoths sniffing around his window and clawing at the walls.

When the sun rose up, he could hear his parents talking.

“... still in his room...”

“..call someone...”

“... not yet!”

Itachi waited until the house was empty before he snuck out of his room to take a shower.

* * *

 

It was as if Jiraiya was the only sane one in town. Though, with the older man being the way he was, that didn't say much. Itachi slipped twenty dollars inside of the bowl. “Tell me about your family.”

Jiraiya held out a cigarette and Itachi, thankfully, had his lighter on him. When the end was lit, Jiraiya exhaled, “Yours truly was the sole pastor in our town. The missus was the local doctor. Had a few kids and a house, but nothing extravagant.”

“Why did you leave?” Itachi asked.

Jiraiya exhaled through his nose. “I started seeing things. I thought that the Lord was sending me visions, but... whenever I tried to describe them, everyone thought I was crazy. My wife begged me to stop acting out, but I... couldn't ignore what was right in front of my face. My church bled out: no more parishioners, everyone in town just knew me as the crazy old man. My wife and kids were so embarrassed. And, one day...” Jiraiya exhaled a plume of smoke, “They decided that I wasn't doing anything for anyone anymore. I came home one day to find my house empty. Save for a note on the table from my wife that said 'Get help'. And that was it.”

“I'm so sorry.” Itachi said. But Jiraiya only shook his head.

Itachi could understand what Jiraiya was saying with his story. He was sure that sometime soon his own family would feel like he wasn't worth it and just kick him out onto the street.

Or put him in a psychiatric home.

There was a soft cool breeze. The sun was beginning to set once more, staining the world in amber. The wind rustled the sandwich wrappers that were left from the lunch Itachi had bought.

"Hey, kid. You strike me as the smart type." Jiraiya spoke, his voice low.

"I try." Itachi chuffed back.

"Can ya do me a favor? Tomorrow, not today."

"Um... sure."

"Tell Kakashi... I said thanks. Thanks for all of the cigarettes, blankets, food, and... and listening ears. I appreciate it all, but I'm not worth anyone throwing their job away for. This town needs him: needs new blood in the church."

"Where are you going?"

Jiraiya drew in the last puff from his cigarette and tossed the butt onto the ground. He looked out into the forests and the way the sunset fell upon them. "Home." He nodded, "I'm finally going home."

"Oh." Itachi didn't know how to respond to that. But he did feel a little better knowing that Jiraiya had a place to go to, a place where people were missing him.

"My wife." Jiraiya added, "My kids. My grandkids. All going to be waitin' for me, with open arms and smiling faces."

Itachi stepped closer and rested a hand upon Jiraiya's shoulder. "That... sounds really great, Jiraiya."

"You take care of yourself, Itachi Uchiha."

"You do the same, Pastor."

* * *

 

Before Itachi left for the day, he looked back at the church, he managed to see that a group of cars had filled the small parking area in front of the church. Curiouser and curiouser...

Itachi stepped inside and heard voices coming from the doors that led into the main portion of the sanctuary. Itachi stepped closer and nudged the door open the smallest bit so he could see and hear what was going on inside.

"I don't understand this!!" Kakashi shouted out at the City Council that stood around him, "This church is half-empty, most people go to St. Michael's anyway! Why can't we just give some assistance to those who need it?!"

"Kakashi, those 'people' are like rats! Once you let one in, they call their friends, and soon our pristine town would be over-run with filth!"

"It's already enough that we turn a blind eye to your, ahem, relationship with Officer Umino."

"Jim!" The old woman who was the head of the Neighborhood Watch snapped out. The City Council members looked to each other before stating,

"We're sorry, Kakashi. But the main focus of all of us during these trying times _has_ to be bringing the market back to town. We won't be able to do that with one of our prized monuments filled with people who have all-but given up on life, let alone themselves."

Kakashi sat down on the steps that led to the stage. He tapped his foot against the ground, smoothed down his hair just to have it spring back up. "... Thank you for your time." He finally sighed.

Itachi would have gone in to comfort the man. But his partner was a prick, so it was ignorance by association for him.

* * *

 

 

 


	11. Pancake House

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this is the chapter of this fic that I like the most. 
> 
> Aside from the part with Itachi getting completely off-his-ass drunk.

* * *

 

 

Itachi walked right into Deidara and Sasori's apartment that night. Somehow, being with Jiraiya... It made him feel guilty for not at least checking in with Deidara to see if he was keeping up with his medication. “You really should look into locking that door, Tweety Bird.” He looked around, finally lowering his gaze to the floor where Deidara was working with some combination of paint and crumbled paper.

“Oh my God, Betty Boop!” Deidara called him over,”Come help me finish this! I think... that I finally got it just the way I want it!”

Itachi stepped closer, noticing that the... project was chaos: shades of blue, sticky paint, shreds of paper sticking out of every which way.

“Not sure what you want me to do...” Itachi said.

Deidara pouted, “Just stand there for scale.”

Itachi shrugged and stood next to the dripping paper-mache being. Deidara splashed some more blue paint on it before announcing, “Done!”

To Itachi, it looked just as sad and drooping as before. But he didn't want to ruin Deidara's positive disposition.

The door opened again, this time letting Sasori walk in. “Okay, I have Hidan's keys so we can...” He blinked, looking at the dripping mess and the two men in the living room. “O... kay...”

“OH!” Deidara jumped up, “Itachi, we should go to Maple Junction and get pancakes!!”

“Wait, _what?_ ” Sasori sputtered out, but Itachi was already thinking about it.

“Are they even open right now?”

Deidara nodded, “24-Hours! And Sasori is here just in time so we can get a ride! Come on,” He ran over and nudged Sasori's shoulder, “Let's go!”

Itachi watched the two: a silent conversation going on between Deidara's excitement and Sasori's... he couldn't quite grasp the sentiment that was growing beneath that calm exterior.

Finally, Sasori said, “ _Fine_... You guys head out to the car, I'll get my jacket and...” He grimaced as the paper-mache statue keeled over. “Clean this up real quick.”

* * *

 

The Jeep rolled down the backwoods, the three of them agreeing that it was the fastest way to get to Maple Junction. Sasori was doing the driving, Deidara in the passenger seat and Itachi in the back. “So...” Itachi began, after eight minutes of silence, “How did you get Hidan's Jeep tonight?”

Sasori didn't answer. His eyes glared at the road ahead. Deidara frowned a little before piping up,

“He's spending the night with Kakuzu so he said we could use it. We just need to remember to fill the tank when we're done.”

After that, silence took over once more.

The moon darted through the tree branches, the occasional evening bird flying from its branch.

“Sasori, are you okay?” Itachi asked the man driving. “You're not usually this quiet.”

“... Sorry.” Sasori said. And that was it. Deidara looked down at his hands, his fingers starting to shake.

“Gonna get some pancakes~!” He sang out, Itachi chuckling but adding,

“Maple bacon on the side~!”

Both of them looked to Sasori, trying to urge him to join in.

He grimaced, “Fluffy fucking eggs on toast.” The Jeep went silent after that. Itachi opened his mouth to suggest turning on the radio but didn't get the chance when the Jeep jerked and jumped, rolling over the road with a loud 'thwump-thwump-thwump' underneath.

“What was that?!” Deidara screamed out.

Sasori tightened his grip on the steering wheel. “God...” He seethed out. “ _Damn... It._ ”

He pulled the Jeep over and parked on the side of the dirt road. Sasori got out, slamming the door behind him. Deidara and Itachi quickly got out to see what had happened.

“Did we hit something?” Deidara asked, looking around in a panic. Itachi stepped closer to where Sasori had knelt down to inspect the now-flat tire.

“Shit..!” Sasori hissed, “Of course this would happen tonight!”

“No~!” Deidara whined, “What about Maple Junction~?”

“Maple Junction?” Sasori scoffed out, “More like 'what about what Hidan's going to do when he finds out that I ruined one of his tires'!”

“W-we can still get there!” Deidara insisted, “Yeah, we'll push the Jeep the rest of the way! It'll be a fun adventure a-and--” Sasori kicked at the flat tire, pulling at his hair.

“Guys, calm down.” Itachi pleaded, “It's going to be fine.”

Deidara nodded, “Yeah. Why don't we just get back in and see if we can make it the rest of the way?”

Sasori choked out a laugh, shaking his head and muttering, “Am I the only _sane_ one here?” He then said, “You don't drive on a flat, Deidara!”

“Why?” Deidara asked, Itachi trying to interject with,

“You can mess up the rim that way and cause more damage.” But Deidara's brain had already jumped to the next thing.

“Well, let's try and fix it! If we hurry up, we can still make it!”

“Oh, _excellent_ idea Deidara!” Sasori yelled, his voice getting louder the more incensed he got, “What are we going to do? Get some sticks? Slap some paint and stickers on it like one of your stupid projects?!”

“They're not stupid!!” Deidara snapped back, “And, yeah, people _do_ fix tires!!”

“When they have _God damn_ spare tires, Deidara!” Sasori shouted at his boyfriend, “What, are you going to pull one out of your ass?! Like the remaining 1700 for the deposit on that house?!”

Deidara's whole frame was shaking now. “D-don't bring that up now... We're supposed to be having fu--” He rapidly shook his head, “We can call someone!”

Itachi agreed, trying to walk over and diffuse the situation. “I'll dial up a tow-truck right now and--”

“Yes, sure Itachi!” Sasori said, “Because I _definitely_ have the money to pay the ONE tow-service in town TRIPLE-RATES to come out here after closing hours!”

“Why are you being such an asshole?!” Deidara yelled at Sasori.

Sasori took a deep breath. He was trying to calm down, but even at a lower volume his words came out like poisonous daggers.

“We. Are two. Grown. Fucking. Adults. Why do _I_ have to be the responsible one all the God-damned time?”

“Sasori, come on.” Itachi walked over, trying to put a hand on Sasori's shoulder, “That's enou--”

Sasori shook him away, “Oh, fuck off Itachi!”

Deidara took that moment to storm forward and shove Sasori away. “Don't yell at Itachi!”

Sasori growled out, shoving Deidara back. Itachi turned around, not wanting to see the two come to blows.

“Shit...” He walked to the Jeep, flinching everytime he heard a fist make contact with skin or someone shout something they would regret come morning. “Shit, come on...” He looked around the car, “Where is it... Where?”

It should have been on the back of the Jeep, but it wasn't. Itachi got down on the ground, bringing out his phone to light up the ground underneath.

Wait.

There!

“Hey! HEY!” He shouted over, standing back up, “Hey assholes!!”

“WHAT?!” Both Sasori and Deidara shouted back, definitely looking worse for wear. Itachi rolled his eyes. “There's a spare tire underneath the Jeep, you pricks.”

Rather than call it a sign and go home, the three of them drove on once Sasori had replaced the tires and texted Hidan to let him know what had happened. Eventually they saw the giant gaudy red train that shined bright to one and all: showing that Maple Junction was up and ready for business.”

* * *

 

“Welcome to Maple Junction,” The cashier on-duty said in a positively dead voice as the trio walked in, “'Where Manifest Destiny has never been More Delicious'. Would you like to try our Wall-Building Waffles with Orange Glaze?”

“Give us half a dozen Constitution Wheels.” Sasori started looking through his wallet for change to pay for the order.

“Ooh! Oh!” Deidara pushed Sasori out of the way, “We should get Soviet Bear Claws!”

Sasori went quiet. He pressed two fingers against his head, trying to ease the growing headache.

“We had Soviet Bear Claws last time, Deidara.” And he really didn't want to use his credit card...

Itachi walked up the the counter and leaned against it. “Fine sir,” He looked down at the cashier's name-tag that read 'Zabuza', “I will take a plate of your finest Houston Hotcakes.”

“Actually,” Zabuza began, “We're out of panca--”

“ _WHAT?!_ ” Itachi lost it. He grabbed Zabuza by the front of his shirt and nearly yanked him over the cashwrap, “ _Fuck you_ , you go back there and look again! How the hell can you be out of pancakes?! You're a _fucking_ pancake house!!”

“For God's sake, Itachi!” Sasori yelled, “Just pick something else!”

“NO!” Itachi let go, shouting his infuriations. Infuriations that he would usually keep to himself. But the barrier had been weathered down far too much that week, “Fuck you, Sasori! After the night I've had! The _WEEK_ I've had! I think I'm entitled to some _God-damned_ pancakes!!”

“ _Oh yeah_ ,” Sasori bit out his next words, “Itachi Uchiha being entitled to something! Color me _shocked_!”

“Fine! You know what?!” Itachi looked over the displayed menu for a second. “Give me six Antebellum Apple Pie Popovers!!” He reached into his pocket and set out fifty dollars to pay for his and his friends' orders.

“Are we eating here?” Sasori gruffed out. “Tell me now so I can go find a table that doesn't reek of eggs and kid vomit.”

“We'll just eat outside to make sure that nothing else happens to Hidan's car!” Itachi ordered, “Fuck it, I need to go to the restroom.” He walked off, Sasori soon leaving to go outside and light up a cigarette.

That left Deidara at the counter with Zabuza as he sent the order to the kitchen. “So...” Deidara hummed, “Do you like monkeys?”

* * *

 

The faucet in the sink trickled out after several seconds. Itachi looked down at the dying flow before slowly regarding himself in the mirror.

“Why are our friends such assholes all of a sudden?” He asked his reflection.

His reflection scoffed back, “Are you sure that you're not the asshole? Asshole.”

“Don't you start with me!” Itachi snapped, “I have literally been through hell these past few weeks! Where the hell do Deidara and Sasori get off trying to make me feel like shit?!”

Itachi's reflection tapped a finger against the sink. “It's not hard to make shit feel like shit. You should realize that by now.”

Itachi glared at his reflection. “I am three seconds away from shattering you.”

The man in the mirror grinned before sticking out his tongue. “You talk a big game for a piece of shi--”

There was a loud crash. The metal faucet knob clattered against the sink after the deed had been done, Itachi panting from the sudden burst of exertion.

“Oh my God! What the hell?!” Itachi looked away from the shattered glass and saw Deidara running into the bathroom. “What are you doing?!”

“I don't know, Deidara!” Itachi tossed his hands up into the air. “And, really, part of me doesn't even want to try and figure that out!”

Deidara's eyes slid from the shattered mirror to Itachi's infuriated face. He bit at one of his nails, his other hand starting to tug at his hair. “O... kay... I wanted to get you. Since the food... was ready? D-did you go to the bathroom like you ne--”

“Deidara, I didn't even have to!” Itachi groaned, rubbing at his temples.

Another piece of the mirror fell to the sink, breaking into several pieces on impact. “Well... Are you ready to eat?”

“Deidara.” Itachi groaned again, closing his eyes. “Please get out so I can go take a piss in peace.”

* * *

 

The way that the breeze was blowing in meant that you could taste the cold crack of the ocean air, even in the backwoods.

Itachi, Sasori, and Deidara were sitting around Hidan's Jeep: trying to eat the baked goods they had gotten. Keyword being 'trying' because no one had built up the nerve to open the two boxes on top of center compartment. Itachi looked between the two men up front: Sasori looking like he had a stick up his ass and Deidara drawing into himself.

“So.” Itachi spoke up with a frown, “Anything new?”

No one spoke up.

Itachi rolled his eyes. “So, Sasori, what were you initially planning to do with Hidan's car?”

Sasori looked up at the rearview mirror. “Deidara and I were _supposed_ to go do something tonight but...”

“Can we just eat? _Please?_ ” Deidara asked, his voice tired. Sasori opened the boxes and set them side by side so that anyone could get whatever they wanted.

“Sasori, have you seen any of Deidara's latest projects?” Itachi brought up as he reached for a sweet-smelling bit of fried, sugar-encrusted dough and apple. “I think his latest piece was actually pretty good.”

“Mm-hm.” Sasori replied, taking a bite out of a red-glazed bear claw.

When Deidara started quietly nibbling at his own bear claw, Itachi asked,

“Everything okay? You're really quiet tonight, Tweety Bird.”

“Just hungry.” Deidara answered.

* * *

 

Itachi was chewing his way through his third popover, starting to wish he had some kind of alcohol to even the ground in his stomach.

“It made a stain in the floor.”

“What?” Itachi looked around Hidan's car when Sasori said that. “Where? We need to try and clean--”

“The paper-mache thing.” Sasori clarfied, Deidara shrinking further into his seat.

“Come on, Sasori,” Itachi leaned forward so Sasori could hear him, “Deidara worked hard on that because he thought you'd like it!”

“Oh, _bullshit_ , Itachi!” Sasori growled back at him, “He did it because he thought it was fun and because he wouldn't have to face consequences! Just like how he lives the rest of his life!”

Deidara leaned forward, rocking a bit as he tugged at his hair. “Deidara, stop that.” Sasori insisted. When Deidara continued, Sasori ordered, again, “Deidara, stop that!”

“How about _you_ stop that, Sasori?” Itachi asked, “Because you're being rude right now and you have been this whole night!”

“ _I'm_ the rude one?!” Sasori turned around, not believing what Itachi had just gotten the nerve to say. “We are both working our asses off, six days a week, trying to save up money to get out of that piece of shit apartment! Oh, I'm sorry!” He glanced over at Deidara, “ _I_ work six, almost seven days a week! _He_ skips out on his shifts and goes around making messes and freezing up whenever things don't go his fucking way!”

“Sasori, stop --”

“No, Itachi!” Sasori shouted him down again, “Let me... Let me give you a rundown of my life right now. Your family hates your guts because you just so happen to like guys and girls. You move in with your boyfriend, determined to make it on your own to show your parents that you don't need their abuse. You both get jobs, you having to beg the manager of the Snack Pack to give Deidara a chance despite his lack of anything resembling experience! The manager goes for it and Deidara promises to work hard but he is piss-poor at paying attention and he gets bored easily! So you take money out of your limited food finances to take him to the doctor and they prescribe him pills to help with his ADHD and his Anxiety just for him _not_ to take them for some stupid reason!”

“Do you think I _like_ being reminded that I'm a fucking wreck?!” Deidara shouted at last. But Sasori was too far down the rabbit hole.

“So, again, you're juggling your job, bills, and worrying about someone calling you to say that Deidara's locked himself in the bathroom, or that he's bitten his nails to the point of bleeding! Now, add this: you are desperately trying to save up for a house. Nothing extravagant, just a small two-bedroom, one-bath in a shit neighborhood. Imagine that, despite you and your boyfriend agreeing to save money and work towards getting this house before someone else buys it or the city demolishes it, your savings and money are constantly eaten away at by your boyfriend causing more irreparable damages to your apartment and eating up the deposit you put on it. Not only that, but thanks to his random bullshit, our credit is too shit to make an offer on that house so the owners are stuck on wanting a three-thousand dollar deposit! A deposit, I _remind you_ ,” Sasori grabbed a bear claw, “That I can't possibly hope to afford when _one_ of us is constantly acting like a _GOD-DAMNED KID_!!” He got out of the car and pulled Itachi's door open,

“And then _you_ , everybody's _favorite_ perfect-pretty-poster boy, stroll on back into town and start justifying Deidara's shit, immature behavior!!”

“ _Excuse_ me?!?!” Itachi stormed out of the Jeep, “How the _hell_ are you blaming this on me?!” Sasori tossed his hands up and walked around to the other side of the Jeep. Itachi held back a yell as he reached into the Jeep for the box of popovers and started tearing into the remaining ones.

He could have sworn that there was something he read about 'eating one's feelings', but he couldn't be bothered. It wasn't like he was drinking his problems away, or burying them in Coke. He was halfway into the fifth popover when a familiar pinch in his stomach kicked up. God, he felt woozy... Dizzy...

“ _Ita... chi..?”_ Deidara's voice echoed out, slowed down in Itachi's nauseating perspective. Itachi heard the door open, Deidara walking over. _“Are... you o... kay..?”_

Itachi pushed Deidara away and ran as far from the Jeep as possible before keeling over and vomiting right there in the parking lot.

He heard Deidara running over, Sasori shouting “Is he okay?” But Itachi slowly started to fade in and out of consciousness, his vision going black.

…

…

The stars... The eyes and windows of the sky. Who would even want to watch the wreck that was mankind?

…

Ugh, he could still taste apple and cinnamon between his teeth.

* * *

 

Itachi woke up, Sasori smoking a cigarette on one side of a bench where Deidara was sitting. Itachi could see that Deidara was holding his head to make sure he didn't choke on his vomit in his sleep. “ _Fuck_ me!” Itachi groaned, “God, I can smell it from here...”

“It's like someone blended up an apple pie and let it stay in a garage for three weeks.” Deidara commented, letting Itachi sit up.

Itachi wiped the saliva from his mouth and looked up at the sky. The stars were bright that night. “Okay, enough.” Itachi looked at his friends, “Could you two just _say_ something? If I'm being a nuisance or if I'm ruining your fucking lives, could you just _say it_ rather than have me think that nothing's wrong?!”

Sasori and Deidara glanced at one another. Sasori opened his mouth, but Deidara piped up, “Itachi, no...” He clenched his hands together to stop the shaking, “Okay, so... Um, one summer when I was a kid, my parents dumped me off at a chicken farm to see if I could 'burn out' my ADHD. I... don't blame them. They just weren't prepared for everything that having a kid like me would take.” He sighed, “So, one day I'm just... tending to the chickens: feeding them, letting them stretch their legs from the coop. For some reason, I still don't know why, I decided to pick up one of the chickens and just... _toss it over the fence!_ And I didn't stop with that one. I must have thrown ten... twenty chickens over the fence that day.”

“Why?” Itachi asked, trying to figure out where this was going.

Deidara shrugged, “Again, _no_ idea. So, I looked at the chickens outside of the fence and the chickens inside. A part of my brain knew that I should try to get the other chickens back inside, but it just seemed so hard. And when the chickens started to run and flap away, it looked way more fun than trying to fix what had happened. So I ran after them and kept on running until we reached the lake. It was,” He huffed out a laugh, “It was... actually the same lake I brought you to, Itachi.”

“So I'm looking at these chickens and they look back at me. They look for a long time until one of them flapped its wings and jumped into the lake. Its feathers started getting wet and it started squawking when it was getting too heavy to stay above water. But... then another chicken jumped in. Then another.” He sighed, looking up at the Maple Junction sign and the moths fluttering about the neon lights. “All these chickens were just jumping into the lake and drowning themselves. At first, part of my brain was yelling at me to join them. But, then... I thought that maybe the chickens were sick of me. That they would rather kill themselves than be around me any more.”

Deidara stood to his feet and walked away a few feet. He bent down and picked up a rock, throwing it at a dumpster. “The thing is, Itachi... I'm trying to get better. With the way my brain is, it's hard for me to focus on what needs focus. I always try to have fun, to not think about how much I'm messing things up for the people I care about.” He turned around and looked at Sasori. The redhead was looking much more subdued, his face betraying his tiredness. “I need to work harder. I need to take my pills like an adult and stop trying to hide behind my disorder and my anxiety whenever things get fucked up. I want that house in that shitty neighborhood. And, really...” He turned to Itachi, “You coming back into town made that part of my brain think 'we can go back to being kids and everything will be like it used to be'. B-but it can't. And now you're talking about monsters and weird languages – Itachi, I...” He stood firm, “I need to grow up. And you're not letting me do that.” Itachi was feeling everything that Deidara was saying, proud of the man that Deidara had become. But that last part.

How were his friends blaming him?

Why did they think that was okay? He shook his head, his breath wavering and faltering. Then he stood to his feet. And started walking.

“Itachi.” Sasori got up and tried to stop him. But Itachi shrugged him away and kept walking. “Itachi, come on!”

It would take a while, but he could get home on his own.

* * *

 

There was a... certain tree in the woods. Tall. Sturdy, with thick branches. In the evening twilight, it stood as a beacon.

He picked up the longest shreds of fabric and bound them together before tossing them over one of the thicker branches. He climbed up and, when he was up and steady, tied one end of the fabrics to the branch and then he tied one end of the makeshift rope into a hoop.

With how much hair he had, he had to struggle to get the circle around his neck. But after he was done, he stood up and looked out at evening horizon.

He looked at Sitka, the beautiful simple burg.

He looked down beneath the tree where several Shoggoths were waiting for him to make a move: all of them growling and hissing up at him.

“Storm's coming.” He looked out at the ocean...

And stepped off.

 


End file.
